Alzheimer's husband with delusions. Is there medication to calm his mind?

I would research Lewy Body Dementia and see if you can have him evaluated. My Mom does the same exact thing. Seroquel helped with the delusions. I've learned to just nod and murmur at the appropriate time. It saves a lot of arguing.

i am so lost.My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in April 2017.I was in denial until the Neurologist ordered 2 studies ( a PET & something else,which you’d think I’d remember because I’m a nurse,but at this point I can’t depend on myself to tell time.) Tests showed his brain was indicative of AD.He was hospitalized because I found him in the kitchen,standing with his forehead against the wall,eyes closed,unresponsive & rigid.I had to fight with both hands to move his foot ! It was as if he was glued to the tile ! It didn’t matter what I said or how loud I screamed,he remained mute with his eyes closed.I’ve never witnessed such behavior with him or any of my AD patients over my career as a nurse.The Neurologists in the hospital diagnosed him with Parkinson’s,the V.A. simply went along with the hospital,so I brought him to a highly recommended Neurologist who nixed the Parkinson’s & said he was quite certain it was due to his PTSD ( a Marine tanker in Vietnam ) which escalated since his retirement 8 yrs ago.He prescribed Psychotherapy,Memantine,& now Aricept.It’s a roller coaster.Often he seems fine,yet today he spoke only about 10 times in response to my questions.I’m not used to this.We were best friends & talked about everything & had fun whatever we did.He used to help around the house a lot....do dishes,clean bathrooms,dust,vacuum,hey,once a Marine,right ? We were a great team.Now he has lost his energy.The exterior of the house is suffering...he loved doing yard work...so now I hire people to help out.He seems unfazed by this when in the past he would “ supervise” contractors ! When we go shopping he cannot leave dogs or babies alone ! He’s always loved dogs,but when I saw him walking towards a Service dog,I had to ward him off which makes him angry.If there’s a baby in line behind us he’ll touch their toes & smile,telling the Mom that he just became a Grandpa & blah blah they could care less & I’m dying,trying to pull him away ! Before we go into stores I now have to announce,” If you talk or touch a dog or baby we are leaving immediately ! People do not want everyone touching their kids ! Would you want anyone touching Brooke ?? ( 6 mo granddaughter). He says,” No,I guess not.” But that’s soon forgotten.The Neuro said he can drive locally because it didn’t seem to be a problem for him.Last week we were 2 mins from our house & he told me to pull into the Deli parking lot to ask directions ! My jaw dropped ! I honestly thought he was joking ! My heart was racing ! He didn’t recognize anything ! I had to take Mom’s keys away 7 yrs ago & we all know how devastating that is for everyone.She bent the handle of the garage door trying to work it open at age 80.Now I’m faced with it again.I can’t bear it.He loves to go fishing & takes an annual trip with his buddies to the Salmon River.He thinks he’s going this Oct. He’s not.Yesterday he wanted to go get his hair cut & asked if I hid his keys.I did.I said you can’t drive today.You are shuffling around,barely walking.He said OK but snuck out this morning while I was asleep.I barely sleep.He is up all night,making coffee,peanut butter & jelly,comes back to bed,snores,gets back up,repeat.I took an ambien last pm so I could get some much-need d sleep.I’m a walking nightmare.I don’t care how so look anymore.I shower & wear clean clothes,but makeup & shopping for new clothes have gone by the wayside.He comes everywhere with me & I feel so pressured that I leave the store in a huff.He says he’s going to go look at something in Men’s Dept. but before I know it my name is coming over the loudspeaker or he shows up standing right next to me.I like to browse & he’s never had patience so I don’t enjoy shopping anymore.
To wrap it up,I don’t know what stage he’s at,I do know that I need help.I am headed off the deep end.I cry at the drop of a hat.I’m angry with myself for feeling so weak when I used to be strong.I’m angry that I’m losing him.This is not how I pictured retirement.
TY all

These sound like symptoms of Alzheimer’s. Some, not all, exhibit paranoia and/or delusions. My mother was diagnosed 5 years ago and I have seen most of that same type of behavior. She constantly will say she knows strangers on the street or has been somewhere before when we are out that I know she hasn’t. I joke all the time to myself when we are out in the car, it is like the same conversation all the time: the same yellow house up the street she hates the color of, the horrible Norfolk Island palm tree that is going to fall on the neighbors house, the ugly orange car around the corner “why would anyone want an orange car...” Sometimes I try to distract her before she sees many of these “markers,” and other days I just go with it. The worst is if she sees a heavy person she will comment on look at their big fat butt; I am mortified. I always have to be super observant about what is around and be ready to distract or redirect her right away.
She went through quite a long phase also of “the creeps” she called them who she thought were going to come in the house and get her. She would tell me she made them some food and they went away down the storm drain in the road, or she would say I needed to be quiet because the “people” doing their excercise walk are going by ( in her fenced backyard bordering a canal mind you).
You can not argue or reason with this disease; only gets them agitated. She has been on aricept 10mg and mementine 10mg for 4 years now. Doctor added 50mg trazadone to calm her paranoia last year since she refused to sleep in her bed at night and would get so distressed about “the creeps” she would hide in her closet on the floor. Since on trazadone she has been much calmer and less agitated.
Horrible horrible disease to watch strong independent vibrant people just basically disappear before you into frail, helpless, confused shells of what they once were. Now my mom is basically in the state as if she was under 10 years old. Keeps asking if I should call her parents to get her, doesn’t recognize her own house anymore, etc. The worst part is now the toileting habits; does not get concept of putting dirty paper in toilet bowl. I have to move the trash can away from near toilet and direct her to throw under butt in bowl. Now this past week she has a new thing that her food is being poisoned! Uuuugh hate this disease; peace and love to all of you persevering through with your loved ones. One day at a time...

Aricept doesn't cure or slow the progression of alzheimer's. It does tend to alleviate some of the symptoms by making the mind more active. A few years ago, a doc gave me Aricept for what turned out to be a brain fog caused by hypothyroidism (now treated nicely by thyroid hormone replacement). I can tell you that I would wake up in the morning having dreamed entire new novels. If I could have written them down I'd be a famous author today. I'd suggest that he not take the Aricept. With his symptoms, it's possibly making him worse.

Get to the doctor have him checked for a UTI. Delusions are part of dementia. There are meds that will help, not eliminate, but will help. Is he seeing a gerontologist or neurologist specialized in dementia? General practitioners are not trained to treat with the elderly with dementia symptoms.