I love to help out, and so I expect younger ones to help me out. There are more older people opening doors for the next person, or offering for the other person to go first than younger ones. Times have changed. And you have to be careful, because some people are bitter and don't want help. So, I just stay kind, helpful and cautious.
Although I "respected" my elders, I certainly didn't want to spend any more time with them than I had to. Whenever I visited my grandparents (weekly), I wore a frozen smile, said please and thank you, and stayed out of adult conversation. I visited both sets of grandparents once a week, did housework on a weekly basis for one set of grandparents, had one grandmother live with us for a while.
Unlike some members on the board, I didn't have nasty grandparents. (Or nasty parents. I'm so sorry for everyone who has to caregive a parent who has always been mean. My Mom, on the other hand, was extremely loving.) Still, I didn't "admire" my grandparents, necessarily. I felt...well...nothing toward them. They didn't care to listen to children or spend any quality time with us. This didn't make them bad people -- they were probably typical for that time and place.
But regardless of statistics, modern medicine, and the family dynamic manners are forever. Now it's called "paying it forward" or "showing a kindness". I wasn't taught that there is a karmic pay-out for me if I am nice to people. I was taught to be nice and to be helpful. Period.
And since jeannegibbs is so old I'm glad there are young'ins out there to help her across the street. :-)
I've had pretty good experiences with people of all ages being polite. In fact, one of the ways I know I am now "elderly" is how often a young person offers to help me! Sorry that doesn't match your experience, Fancicoffee.
She never saw people bedridden for any length of time or hanging out of wheelchairs. You were either Healthy and able to care for yourself or you were dead. (I know there were probably exceptions to this - but healthy or dead was the norm back then.)
It is easy to stay positive when we are healthy and it is easy to be kind and caring when all is going well.
Nowadays, we have all sort of props - antibiotics, surgeries, pills, pills and more pills. Now we know that we have the distinct prospect of ending up senile and DEPENDENT on others and it scares us to death - as well it should.
It is not a happy future for many - but, hopefully it beats the alternative - but of this I am not completely sure.
And yes, as pam said above - people did not grow OLD as they do now. They actually LIVED until they died - they didn't live a 'living death' as so many have the opportunity to do in our modern times.
And yes, we respected our elders. They were usually kind, hardworking folks. :0) Average life expectancy in 1900 was 45-50 yrs., in 1920 it was 53-55, in 1940 it was up to 60-65, and in 1998 it was 74-79 and we see many who live far longer - into their 90s and 100s.
Sadly, my MIL who is 89, says often 'why in the world did I have to live so long?' She hates the fact that she has lost her health and independence. Wouldn't we all?
my two cents. I know there are others who feel differently and this is a 'might' off subject. Not quite sure exactly what the poster was meaning.
As far as manners - that is something we are taught by our parents and by our interaction with others. Opening doors, saying please and thank you - doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. Not sure there's an answer to why some do and some do not do for others or show respect.
And most of us do ALL WE CAN DO AND MORE until we just wear ourselves out. Never ever assume that another person does not care - we have not walked in their shoes. :0)
Do you have children that will help? Most in this fast paced life don;`t want to be bothered.