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🙂 I have lots of hidden talents.
The problem is, even I can’t find them.
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I just had a talk with myself, and things didn’t go well…
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Fact:
Never trust anyone who spells gonorrhea right on the first try.
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😇
I’m never wrong.
Just different levels of right.
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🙂 Two reasons I don’t trust them:
1. I don’t know them
2. I know them
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The world is not full of a***holes, but they are strategically placed so you’ll come across one every day.
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What do you call an anxious dinosaur?

A nervous Rex.
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My wife is saying she’ll divorce me because I’m obsessed with television dramas.

But will she leave me? 

Find out next week…
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🙂 My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
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My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are…

But I laugh more.
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My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy. 

What planet is she on?
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"When you lower the music so you can find an address so you can see better."
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🙂 regarding my joke below...

this happened to me today!...we're all getting completely lost in the grocery store after the renovation. no one can find anything.
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Welcome to adulthood. You get upset when they rearrange your grocery store now.
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just the shape 🙂
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What’s your favourite thing about a stegosaurus?

Mine’s the thagomizer!

Poor Thag Simmons.
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finalllly someone asks me for the 1st time since childhood.

🙂 Stegosaurus
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What’s your favourite dinosaur?

Mine’s Plesiosaurus.
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How to save money and have fun as an adult:

SLEEP.
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When you become a grown up, people stop asking you what your favorite dinosaur is.

They don’t even care.
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Teenage me:
Don’t tell me what to do.

Adult me:
Please, for the love of God, at least give me a HINT of what to do.
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🙂 haha

I’m an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
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I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.
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Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.
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🙂 Just for once
I’d like to spiral
into control.
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😉 I feel like there's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a taco.
(1)
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Why did everyone play the recorder in 4th grade? What were they training us for?
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😉 Hold on. Everything will be fine. It will only take a lifetime.
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So awkward when you meet someone you’ve stalked and don’t know whether to play it cool or ask whether they enjoyed Tahiti in 2011.
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