Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
1 2 3 4 5
🙂 Two reasons I don’t trust them:
1. I don’t know them
2. I know them
(1)
Report

The world is not full of a***holes, but they are strategically placed so you’ll come across one every day.
(1)
Report

What do you call an anxious dinosaur?

A nervous Rex.
(2)
Report

My wife is saying she’ll divorce me because I’m obsessed with television dramas.

But will she leave me? 

Find out next week…
(3)
Report

🙂 My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
(3)
Report

My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are…

But I laugh more.
(3)
Report

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy. 

What planet is she on?
(2)
Report

"When you lower the music so you can find an address so you can see better."
(2)
Report

🙂 regarding my joke below...

this happened to me today!...we're all getting completely lost in the grocery store after the renovation. no one can find anything.
(2)
Report

Welcome to adulthood. You get upset when they rearrange your grocery store now.
(2)
Report

just the shape 🙂
(1)
Report

What’s your favourite thing about a stegosaurus?

Mine’s the thagomizer!

Poor Thag Simmons.
(2)
Report

finalllly someone asks me for the 1st time since childhood.

🙂 Stegosaurus
(1)
Report

What’s your favourite dinosaur?

Mine’s Plesiosaurus.
(2)
Report

How to save money and have fun as an adult:

SLEEP.
(1)
Report

When you become a grown up, people stop asking you what your favorite dinosaur is.

They don’t even care.
(1)
Report

Teenage me:
Don’t tell me what to do.

Adult me:
Please, for the love of God, at least give me a HINT of what to do.
(1)
Report

🙂 haha

I’m an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
(1)
Report

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.
(1)
Report

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.
(1)
Report

🙂 Just for once
I’d like to spiral
into control.
(2)
Report

😉 I feel like there's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a taco.
(1)
Report

Why did everyone play the recorder in 4th grade? What were they training us for?
(2)
Report

😉 Hold on. Everything will be fine. It will only take a lifetime.
(1)
Report

So awkward when you meet someone you’ve stalked and don’t know whether to play it cool or ask whether they enjoyed Tahiti in 2011.
(1)
Report

.
(0)
Report

🙂 Ever look at someone and think, “Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?”
(1)
Report

🙂 A man's main job is to protect his woman from her desire to "get bangs" every other month.
(1)
Report

🙂 Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
(1)
Report

bundleofjoy,

Most of the time, we must engage the brain before putting our mouth in gear. However, in one case, I would beg to differ. That was the time I spontaneously said "thank you for loving me" to a very loving person in my life.
(2)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter