I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at an American shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his Father, "What is this Father?".
The Father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don`t know what it is!".
While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a
wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.
The Father said to his son, "Go get your Mother".
"No son, I got them all cut."
"Drat, I bit myself on the tongue!"
So I picked - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure.
I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?
Wrong season but who cares lol.
Nacho cheese.
I personally stick to breaks of about 3-4 years
He wanted off the hook.
The second one. :)
Fart and the world suddenly stops smiling.
Someone who stays awake all night trying to figure out whether there really is some kind of a dog.
Thunderpants
halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her
nightgown and say "Supersex."
She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I’ll take the soup.”
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can
guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
What did the lawyer wear to the masquerade party??
A "lawsuit."
He’s happy to take some.
He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself.
“Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.”
“Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver.
“You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”
Who’s there?
An extraterrestrial.
Extraterrestrial who?
What – how many extra-terrestrials do you know?
He lies on the couch, drinks beer, watches TV, burps and farts.
***
85% of married life consists of yelling "what?" from the other side of the house.