I posted a few days ago asking for suggestions about how to approach family members as I am a paid caregiver. Yes, I get to go to my own home at night, but I still have issues with being exhausted,stressed,ect.On top of that I have the added pressure of having the family to answer to. My issues are as important as anyone else.. But, like i said, I figured it out. I will confer with her husband who is 84, not in very good health himself, but is still very sharp and able to make decisions. If he says,"I don't know" or "I don't care", I will make reasonabe choices based on common sense and thier welfare and discuss it with him again. You would think as many people as there is on this sight, someone would give me some insight from the families point of view. Thanks for letting me vent.
When I first tried to get my book published, I was told I didn't have the "credentials." I thought, "Twenty years and seven elders and I don't have credentials!" Caregivers have credentials that no one else can offer. That's why support from those who've been there helps.
Carol
I think if all of us caregivers share tips for how they accomplished something or got the system to work FOR us we would have a pretty powerful resource.
I trust the people on this network more than I would any salesperson or sorry to say, many experts & social workers who tell but haven't been there done that like you - who wrote the book & all of us who learn & benefit from your insight and wisdom. And each of us as we learn something to share too. It makes me feel good & empowered to share / teach rather than just vent.
I know that if I knew then what I learned along the way, I would have had 6 months of free time for my mom (which matters because we never get time back)
Happy Holidays
Keep us posted,
Carol
thought I would give you an update on the portable PT/INR meter for inhome testing. After 7 months we finally had the unit delivered to the house by a trainer. It was worth all of the research and battle to get the device - now my mom no longer needs to go up to 3 x week to her doctor's office for a needle-stick test. I am posting this because anyone who is a caregiver for someone with either a mechanical heart-valve or A-fib qualifies under Medicare, a Medicare-HMO/PPO or state Medi-Medi programs. It is a real lifesaver for both my mom & me - and her doctor is thrilled that it will keep compliance while giving her a better quality of life. Finally more time to go out without it being tacked on to a doctor visit.
If anyone has applied for one, or cares for a family member on anti-coag medications like coumadin or warfarin & wants more information just post & I will share what I learned and how to get it approved & delivered.
Carol
Thank you. As I said you probably will be able to give us all insight which will be helpful and this is the place to vent our feelings. Cat has peeled many of us off the wall in the past and I have learned from her to think before I speak which I need to do also with the husband and I am glad we are able to take each other to task when needed that is what friends do who care about each other. I have to run to my vol. job-we sew cancer pads and mostly talk and laugh a lot,
Blessings to you,
Carol
As a professional writer, I have often been taken aback by comments that don't at all seem to reflect what I've written. I've also gotten angry (my column) comments from one person who only reads the first couple of paragraphs, and doesn't finish the column, so doesn't know I addressed the issue further down.
So, in defense of all of the great people on the site, these things happen. People here really do care. I've never before seen a site with such caring people.
I will apologize to everyone here in that my email system suddenly decided to block emails alerts from this site and I have no idea why. I've got that fixed, so hopefully I will get alerts when I should.
Meanwhile, thanks to you all for helping Lindam. And thanks to Cat for her caring response. I agree with what she said.
Lindam, you are in a particularly hard spot as you are paid, so people think you don't need help, and you should just do "your job." Does any other job last 24/7? Does another job keep you up all night wondering what is next? You are always on call, and no "real" job could require that. So you need relief as much as anyone else.
But family and friends don't get it. We - all caregivers, paid or not - live with that. People live in denial, if they can, about what caregivers do. They want to pretend all is taken care of and you are fine.
Please continue to stand up for yourself. Only you can do it, but know that we are all behind you.
Carol
Lindam, don't be concerned. You have been in the trenches caring for your dad & while shouldering the grief of his passing are a true professional who knows how to reach out to others for insight into how to solve care and communication issues for your client, whom you honor as you would your own relative. I believe that we are lucky to have you with us.
The lesson here that I get out of this is that no matter how clearly we think we stated our issue, someone else will read what we have written and intrepret it differently. But everyone means well and contributes to participate and help. That is the great thing about these boards, we can all share and learn - the board is cathartic so lets laugh, cry, vent, misunderstand, make up and do it all again with the knowledge that we all share a common bond and we can say what we think here. This is a safe place for all of us to say whatever. No harm no foul.
everyone take care
Maybe you need to cut back on your hrs. at this job or if working for an agency you could get another client-if you hate your job it is not good for you or the pt. you are caring for or maybe the family could have a voleener come in for a few hrs, to give you a break or maybe they are expecting too much from you why don't you write down your duties and how much time each requires and give it to the family they may be unaware of all you do durning the time you are there. This is only a suggestion from a family caregiver.