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My latest blessing I was able to get together with four friends that I use to work with yesterday-two I had not seen in 15 yrs and it was a nice break, I am really lucky that I have many friends from high school and work and church and my senior center it helps since the husband really doesn't even think of me except when HE has a problem and all of my friends here are so important to me I really am blessed here on earth,thank you all.
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Thanks Naus, I'll be thinking of you and your Dad and hoping all goes well for you both. Peace to you.
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Dear Micheleangel, so glad to hear things went well with your dad, and he does sound happy. My own dad goes into assisted living on this coming Tues. I'm very excited, however he has his doubts. The people there are wonderful, and the place has a comfortable feel to it, so I'm praying for a smooth transition. Take care.
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Hi all, Well today was a good day. My Dad went into his new home, it's a really nice place (assisted living) and out of that nursing home. It was a lot of work getting him in there in such a short time we asked for an extension on his rehab to ins co but they denied it. Any how they had one room available and we got it. What I really like about it is they have 2 sections, one for "normal assisted living" and one section for more care 2 people assist and all, he is still in a wheel chair but will continue his rehab at this new place. I think he'll do better with rehab here because the hospital environment didn't sit well with him i think. But I was so happy when he arrived today he said I'm home!!! It was nice to see him happy and out of that place, I pray we made a good decision and he stays happy.
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Funny you should ask, but I picked the name nauseated, because that's how I was feeling at the moment, when I first signed on, and wanted something easy to remember LOL. And also, at the time, dealing with the poop issues, I was feeling nauseated by this whole caregiver experience, so there you go. I've sort of gotten over that, and moving on to new experiences, like never knowing what each day will bring, and how this alzheimer's disease is sneaky, popping in and out and making you question "is it really alzheimer's?". But I must count my blessings that dad is still mobile, and able to do some things for himself, however few. You all have a wonderful day, check back later.
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Thank you Nauseated for the kind words. Just curious... why did you ever pick the name nauseated? If its mom related to narcissistic then I completely understand!!! LOL

Being raised by that type of mother and having Godly covering every step of my life has taught me some great lessons and I hope I learn from them, not go back to repeating them. So I write to share them. I hope that others will get a glimpse that there is hope, there is a possibility for change, and that setting boundaries can be healthy when done properly.

I'll take those blessings and pass them on! Thanks Naus!!
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Jerome, Mitzi, what great stories. You friends are great, and great examples for the rest of us. God Bless you!
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Jerome, it sure sounds like God has you covered! You have a great PT! I have a PT who is licensed in massage and can do deep tissue massage. Besides myself going every week, I hired her to help a friend of ours who had what we believe is a stroke. He has rheumatoid arthritis in his legs and it was very difficult for him to walk normally and then on top of being hospital bound, it was a bear. So this massage therapist came out to the hospital and to his home now every week. He's been doing great! Up walking around, muscles strong. A PT who's worth their weight in gold is one you don't lose!!

Great news on the vehicles. God does provide for His people doesn't He? Sometimes in the obscure ways! Thanks for sharing about God's goodness!
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Mitzi, there is something else I have recently started doing: The Physical therapist suggested I massage mom's legs to help them loosen up for her to be able to stand more upright. I haven't gotten there yet But I do rub her back as I am waking her up. It helps her be more receptive. I remember her doing that for me when I was a little kid.
Another bright spot: I have two working vehicles, each one backs up the other in case they break down. Well, the car's alternator stopped working, and the truck's starter stopped working all this week. So, I took both to an electrical automotive shop I have frequented for many years. The alternator brushes had carbon build-up so they were cleaned and unit is fine --- No charge ---! The starter has 4 brushes on the armature, 3 were completely gone and the forth was melted. Well they replaced that equipment and the starter is fine, --- $25 ---! So instead of buying $300 for new parts, I had both rebuilt to reuse because the men who work there know I care for my mom, with no job, and they are GODLY men.
One can say the world is awful, or One can say miracles happen here and they are both right! We choose what to believe! Jerome.
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Jerome, that is so awesome! When my dad acted like a child having me tuck him in and kissing me goodnight made me cry when I was staying with him while mom was in the hospital. Its the touching moments that make it a bright spot.

Thanks for sharing! Bless your heart for helping a neighbor!!
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Michele that was a sweet spot of a moment with your husband and father. May GOD continue to give you more of them.
NEON, for the 22nd time I quit smokeing 3 years ago. Just stopped and did not buy or bum another one. 4 months later i had a bad asthma attack and had to put myself in the hospital. (Thank GOD mom was still recuperating in the hospital) I sure would like to get rid of this s---t.
Naus, Try to chase a 84 yr old lady running away from you (my mom escaping) and the Oxygen cant get into your system to sustain the run. I finally caught her and sat on her until I could see clearly and breathe. May GOD bless your efforts with your dad.
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Hi Neon, wow you are the action girl!! My last name is Menefee, It used to be McFee
oh 380 years ago when we came to Jamestown. There was a cat named 'baby' who belonged to a daughter who didn't know how to care for her. The daughter's mother (neighbor) moved to Kansas to care for her father and left the cat at the house. I was asked to watch the cat while no one was there while the daughter was to take the cat to the country'. Well the cat let me know it was willing to be adopted, then it adopted me!
My dog, (Dachshund) and the cat are willing to get along however they refuse to modify their personalities one bit. It is quite funny.
Mitzi, my mom mouthed the words "I love you" even though she has not spoken a known language in quite a while. I'd say that was a Bright Spot!
I have been caring for a neighbor who has dementia the past 14 days so I haven't had much time to catch up on posts. Jerome
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I posted on needing to vent so maybe that will explain and yes NAUS I know you are right but sometimes a girl needs to try it at least. Thanks for believing in me and its so funny how you can know me so well and others can't well maybe they do but they like to push my buttons I don't know not a psycologist took me three tries to spell that one. LOL well better get back to work
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Dear Neon, good luck and try to enjoy your weekend no matter what. About the treating of others as they treat you, I know you will not be able to pull that off for long because it's not in your nature, you have a kind and generous giving heart, and can't help yourself, when it comes to doing good for others. Hugs to you girlfriend!
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I found out my husband is home sunday I have church he won't go I will be late getting back as we are having lunch than will have to come home and cook for him by that time it will be time to go back to church so no big deal to me. from now on I treat others as they treat me no more treat others as you want to be treated I do and do to no avail. So I might be able to relax Monday don't know tomorrow will be full of housework tonight the viewing and get the house work and laundry stated. Always so much mundane stuff to do I feel like the live in help if I had the money I would hire someone to come once a week just to dust vacuum and mop the floors clean the bathrooms I could keep up with the rest now that it is soon to be nice short of rain I want to be outside. I didn't say I didn't like this site I just thought it was funny that we share such intimate thoughts and can't share email to help each other in dire circumstances but thats fine I don't need another thing to do really unless I get paid for it. Going to really start thinking like others LOL I do enough volunteering. Well maybe it will be nice to see your husband for a little while you never know he sure has a lot of time to think but probably like the rest just thinking of himself. Have a good week end everyone I need some in person friends so I can start partaking of some festivities.
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I thought that was what is was on classmates I did get away with that twice I was surprised but I only wanted to email a few old classmates and then I would know if it went through to or got lost in cyberspace, but I do like this site as it is because we can all get involved hope you have a good weekend if you can I am going to enjoy being alone except I will have to go over to see the husband i guess- maybe on Sunday after church.
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I posted my email addresses thought I would give you a hand with contacting people so don't give your email address on this site no personal information which I find really funny Isn't all of this personal?
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Neon- can you tell us what law you broke so we do not do it if not ok just wondering you take care girlfriend
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Hi dear friends! Neon, I am so proud of you, you can do it. I had to quit smoking 16 years ago, because I became so ill, and couldn't breathe. I couldn't smoke, and I surely loved smoking. The doc said I had chronic bronchitis, but I was so sick and it took six months before I could breathe almost normally again, without feeling like I was dying. It took EVERYTHING I had just to get my kids fed, and off to school in the morning, then I could do nothing after that, because I was struggling just to breathe. It is the most horrible feeling I have ever had in my life. Quitting smoking was the best thing I have ever done for myself, and my family too. Dear Neon, I know you can do this. If I can do it, ANYBODY can. You must do it for you! You will feel so much better. My FIL has had emphysema for years now, and lives on oxygen 24/7, and can do nothing. He sounds like darth vader when he tries to breathe without oxygen. I count my blessings that I did this, and you can too. Good Luck Neon! Hugs to you, and to all my friends here. I also count my blessings that dad actually liked the assisted living facility that he toured yesterday. Wish me luck!
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Micheleangel, that is so heart warming and commendable. God bless you I know it's hard well my earlier post was removed because I broke a law and I do apologize did not know it was a law. You all have a good day I am yet struggling tohelp myself no cigarette this day I can do it I know I can I just have to set my mind and not pay attention to anyone else, I am so alone anyway so I can depend on myself. Gonna miss them no matter what they do to the body they have always been there for me for the last 44 years but better do it before they get me. My doc said My lungs are that of a woman my age who does not smoke so quit while I'm ahead or a lung or something
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Hey all, I just wanted to give credit where it's due to my husband. I complain alot about how my siblings do nothing for me or my parents and it's hard when you try to do it all. I honestly am so grateful for my husband who always steps up to the plate to help me and my kids do too. I don't know what I would do without them. We have had our share believe me of ups and downs but as I'm writing this he went to the dr appt. to be there with my Dad and just called me Dad's ambulance just arrived. I am so stressed lately and he took off work this morning to go.I just wanted to share that in this thread Oh this made me cry we had our meeting with social workers etc. the other day to see how long they think my Dad will be there and when we walked in and my Dad saw my husband he said "this is a good guy he helps me a lot he's my friend" we both had tears in our eyes That is the first time in a few weeks that my Dad made complete sentences from surgery and drugs and getting used to this new place and all, but it was so sweet for my husband and the nurses and all were so taken by that it really made everyone in such a good mood to start the meeting!! Just wanted to tell you all that, thanks for letting me. Michele
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Austin I do believe I would become that squeaky wheel and lay it out on the table for them one more time thats alot of money when you don't have it. Let them know he had medications he wasn't supposed to have let them know he had no fluids call the hospital social worker, there should be some liason between the hospital and the nursing home. Call the State again if you have to call your senator, call your govenor call a tv station call everybody yes it takes time but its time people stand up for whats right and stop brushing things under the carpet you need my help email the numbers with some good facts I'll do it I am not afraid to get involved and in my present state of mind I can give anyone a piece of my mind very sweetly and get my points across with out raising my voice and incidently when I don't raise my voice thats when you're in big trouble. I'll let them know they are barking up the wrong tree. Right this minute I think I could even take on city hall. LOL
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The docs always listen to the husband-on Mon the social worker told me he was on meds for high blood pressure and I said NO NO NO he does not have high BP today I told him about and somehow while the state inspectors were there it was pointed out he fainted 3 times and spent 5 days in the hospital and I have to pay $1000.00 in bed hold fees because he got meds he should not have and water was not given for at least 1 day- they were made aware over two days ago of this happening.
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well thanks guys but I know who this little girl is all to well they didn't have such when I was growing up and once in awhile someone from church would ask if we could go home with them for the sunday afternoon, had a meal played with their kids and they brought us back after evening service it was so nice, that is what told me there were people who lived different than I did, I also patterned myself after a teacher or two and some other ladies I have met in my lifetime, believe it or not my best friend when I was sixteen was a 56 year old lady I will never forget her she had nothing but was such a blessing to me I would do anything for her. anyway I have a question

I think my mother is slipping very fast, I just went home for lunch let the dogs out found one of their water bowls in the dining room and one on the kitchen counter with a little bit of water in it,, I hung up the towels, threw in some rugs to wash, swept the kitchen took out the trash finished loading the dish washer and turned that on and my mother says... ahem....

Do your dogs carry their bowls around? Well they never did before but if they were thirsty they might, one is a husky one is a shepard, she says well I gave them water, I said no you didn't you left it on the counter, well I didn't want to give them water! (okay guys here is where I need your help) am I confused. They had full bowls this morning when I left at 7:45 granted they drink a lot of water, thus I go home at 12:30 or 1:00 to let them out and give them more water something to chew on, let them know I haven't abandoned them, etc. This is how I keep my youthful figure LOL . Than I went to the bathroom and there was dried up mess on the floor in front of the toilet where she apparently tried to clean it up but she won't have her cataracts removed thus she cannot see properly and of course, she cannot hear properly, Is she just going down hill now and these are the beginning signs I can't tell I don't know why I can't tell I'm an intellegent person but I just need a little information to back up what I might suspect or maybe just don't know. I know some of you have had situations beyond this and I did with my mother in law but her problems were different, my mother has not been diagnosed with dementia or anything like that and when I brought up the fact that she had bowel problems , to me if you eat at 4:19 and are running to the bathroom at 4:27 you have bowel problems this happens after everything she eats but she sits in the doctors office and says oh no I don't have any problem going to the bathroom that was 16 days ago. The doctor believes her I am not picking on her but I'm not going to put myself thru any more than I have to the worse thing will be to take her boxes away from her yi yi yi I NEED HELP
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Neon -I am so proud of you helping a young child when my older brother and I were young a sunday school teacher had us over to his house to spend time with his family just for fun no work like at home and I still remenber that. I want to do more I think my thing will be trying to get help for people like us who so need help and have to go on medicade to get affordable help so the husband can stay home and I get assistance so I do not die first. If we had more people like you what a wonderful world this would be they always say ask a busy person if you want something. The state inspectors were at the nursing home what a difference I thought I was on the wrong floor three nurses were making my husband more comfortable for lunch and theeven asked me if I would like some lunch- wait until they find out I called our state board of health I only wanted to talk to an ombudsmen but they would not help me and told me I had to call the BOH. I found a site for spouses of disabled people but they want a membership fee so I clicked off right away and I do get support from this form.
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Neon, how awesome is this that you mentor a young girl??? Darling!! Think about how awesome this is!! Despite everything else you provide this girl with love she cannot get from a normal situation. You are her provision. :)

This girl is fortunate enough to have you to be a blessing in her life. This is a gift from God to be a blessing when you know what it is like to be without and still extend it. Wow! You go girl!!

As far as the Nanny McFee.... lol well, no comment. I do m own fair share to get out of the bondages that have held me for far too long. :)

Glad to hear you are painting and expressing and sharing in the lives of other youth. Keep being an inspiration! You are to us that's for sure.
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Hi everyone, thank you for the words of encouragement Jerome, yes, I am feeling better and I am a person of action, I have my mirror put on, I picked up the paint yesterday and touched up my car, I bought a tire inflator just need to get that new tire and will do it in about three weeks when I have the cash. So 3 outta 4 ain't bad I have been eating but I am one when upset I have no desire for food I have been going to bed at 9:30 and getting up at 5 get on pc and have my coffee play a few games to get my head working sharpens my mind jump in the shower in between take care of my two dogs and my three cats and the strays who just had babies, seems no one likes to take care of their pets so I just keep gathering more costs alot to feed them and is a lot of work but they are so loving. I am suppose to get rid of one of my dogs but training her the best I can while I work, I do run home at lunch time to let them out then they have to wait until I get home so they have to wait approx 4 hours between going out and I think they can do that my one I am supposed to get rid of has accidents in the house once in awhile so I have been putting it in the yard hoping she will get the hint that it's okay to go in the yard. Seemed to work yesterday I will be able to gauge it better today. Tomorrow I have lunch with the little girl I mentor I only have two more lunches with her than school is out. I got permission from her grandmother to see her over the summer so want to plan a few things for us to do together. Her mom is in jail and her father is there sometimes and sometimes not just whenever it pleases him I guess. I really have a problem with people who are all about them selves she is 10 and so beautiful. I had her picture taken and bought her some special ones as that will probably be the only time she will have something like that done unless I'm still alive when she graduates and she better graduate. She is so forlorn and listless and doesn't share much just have to pick up on little nuances. So that will keep me going. Will plan a picnic maybe a trip to the zoo I'm a little old for six flags they would have to push me around in a wheel chair LOL, bad arthritis. but I can still do things, think I will have her over one sat and we can bake something and play a game or read a story or just hang out she might like the personal attention for a whole day. than plan a cook out for her and invite her little brother as well and give her grandma a break.
So I have lots of interest, I am almost finished a painting of cape Hatteras for a special friend who wants to give it to his wife for their anniversary He likes really bright colors and its a little bright for me especially the sky he wanted a orange sunset but whew its too orange so need to work on that put the shadows and highlights in work on the sand a little, put some grasses in and a few little details than that will be done, going to clean out the utility room this week end, and find time to enjoy my front porch, checked on my vegetable garden last night and there are lots of tomato and pepper buds cukes and squash are a little behind but its been really cool here lots of strange weather. but when it gets hot it will be hot. LOL Well my husband will be home tomorrow morning haven't heard from him all week so that tells you alot I asked him three weeks ago to give me a call when he got the chance so guess he has no chances. I think thats kinda pitiful myself but thats my opinion and I am entitled to my opinion. and he's entitled to his just lets me know how much he really does care. Actions speak much louder than words. and my words from now on at least to him I keep to myself. Well I guess I've rambled on long enough time to get something accomplished. Thank you all for caring and have a good day you sure help me alot.

So glad things went well for you and your Dad Micheleangel that makes all the difference in the world.

Mitzi your are the greatest, it is good when you are in the same pathway as others to look at their distress and garner as much info as you can to help see your own situation. My mother there is not going to be any changing she's been this way all her life and I can't expect her to change its just a wait it out game, she was always good at mind games playing me against my sister, and I do believe she has finally gotten it after all these years she has no control over me and can not hurt me anymore I just need to get that thru my thick head about my husband. But there is change in the air and Nanny McFee is about to appear LOL
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Here is the beauty I find in this thread.... the blessings are found only to discover hurts and pains. But through the compassion of others and the persistent search for peace we come back to the thread about blessings.

Isn't this just a blessing in itself? It is finding healing where hearts are hurting. It is looking beyond all the muck and mire and finding a glimpse of sparking beauty. Like after cleaning all the dirt and arguments, suddenly in a bright moment we can find thankfulness in finding the laughter of a parent dancing suddenly without cause. Perhaps after a harrowing day we can find an ounce of gratitude for when a parent let's us tuck them in and says "I love you".

These are the blessings that get lost in all the garbage that goes on. Maybe we found a social worker who went out of their way to help any one of us accomplish a task.... these are the daily blessings.

When I look among all the tears, struggles, and anger.... I see a heart for a people who love unconditionally. Thank you all for being my blessings. Thank you for helping me realize situations in my life I have to be grateful for.

Did I count enough? :)
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Hi all, thought I'd let you know we had our meeting today with all Dad's caretakers at the skilled nursing center and all went really well. I was suprised how they all had really good attitudes this time and we felt comfortable instead of on edge.He is making good progress I'm so glad. Now we will see probably 2 weeks and then he'll be able to leave and go into an assisted living or stay there on a different floor in an alzheimers unit.We will see how all goes and still check out some other facilities, they are out of pocket and so very expensive.
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Neon, action is the best medicine to help you feel better. It is good you are fixing your stuff yourself, making sure you eat, and (hopefully) some rest. No one wins if you get sick or worse. Take care of yourself and know GOD loves you and we care!
Jerome
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