I've been reading many of these stories and it's really sad that medical science has progressed and found so many ways to prolong life beyond the normal expectancy without considering the quality of that life.
My Son knows what I have been going through with my Mother and he says to me "My God , I hope you are not like that when you get old. "
It seems cruel to be still living when you are not able to care for yourself. And for some that are not even able to enjoy doing little crafts and leisurely things, how boring that must be, day after day. Just waiting and waiting and knowing you are tormenting your loved ones.
What were they thinking?
Are we seeing many cases where Children become too old to take care of their Parents?
"Medical science" is a combination of many disciplines. They are not colluding with each other to create a dilemma. The human body is very complex...the brain especially. We are living longer because of the blessings of cured diseases, better diets, fewer wars, more knowledge and yes, the help of medical sciences.
Anyone concerned about outliving their desired qualify of life needs today and fill out a Living Will and give copies to your doctors and loved ones. This way, if your mouth or mind can no longer speak for you, the Living Will gives instructions on how much or little medical intervention you wish to have and your doctor, LOs and legal representatives are legally bound to follow it. That's as much as you can do short of planning and carrying out your own exit.
Do caregivers get too old to care for their parents? Yes and often the stress of trying to do it themselves takes a terrible toll on their own bodies and they die before their charges. This is partly what facilities are for -- to prevent this from happening. Those wishing to care for parents hands-on and in their homes until the end often can't imagine how intense it will eventually be on their own bodies, minds, wallets and psyche. So the available solution is to accept the role of facilities until medical science can fix broken minds as well as bodies. Never make your children promise to never transition you into a facility. Be very careful about planting your flag to "never" transition your LO into a facility. Also, I hope your son understands that HE may be the one who "is like that" as he ages but medical science might have a solution by then. One can only hope.