I traveled to NY six times to the tune of $8,000 moving my father to FL. Which when it came to the final move realized that it would be impossible for him to live alone in his house, so we brought him to our house on a temporary basis. Then I realized that it appeared that he wants to live in my spouse and mine house permanently for FREE while he sends whatever little money he has left over each month to a sister in NY. I put my foot down and told him no way I was going to take care of him for free while he sends money to NY. He does absolutely NOTHING for himself acting as if he is in a five star hotel. He is rude, and he tries to come between me and spouse by asking my spouse to stop, buy him lotto etc. I told him he needs to go live in his own home. Meanwhile I have other siblings who he wants to leave proceeds from the sale of his house when he dies, when they aren't doing a damn thing for him. I have grown to dislike him considering that he was not much of a father to me when I was growing up. I had asked him if he had funeral arrangements and his nasty response was that will be the problem for the person who buries him. I thought really well you did not help me and my sister with funeral arrangements for our mother so as far as I am concerned I will not be putting myself in anymore debt trying to help him. I managed his home in Orlando, FL for nine years for FREE but now I told him I want to be paid for all the money my spouse and I have spent on the house he now wants to leave for three of us...one sister and one half sister. The half sister doesn't even call to see how he is doing. I am fed up and want him out of my house NOW!!!!!! He is very demanding...you offer him papaya or cantaloupe he responds...do you have fruit cocktail? I said if I had fruit cocktail I would have offered it to you. He doesn't pay for any of the food he eats and he eats better than me. I can work because I have to be at his beck and call and cleaning up behind him!!!!! Totally depressed and just want to RUN Away!!!!
You know that the will is totally meaningless until he dies. And only what is actually left can be divided. Unless he can actually find somewhere he can live for free, he is going to have to use money as long as he is alive. If he needs Medicaid the state will put a lien on his house.
You do your thing, runaway.
I think it's time to get him back to NY and into his home. Call the local Area Agency on Aging in NY and have them do an in-home assessment of his needs. They can help him access services.
I think an inheritance should be the farthest thing from anybody's mind right now. His funds should be paid for his own care. Regardless of the original plans, you clearly want him out. If he can't live alone, he needs another place to go. Where to put him and how to pay for it should be the focus now.
(sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and laugh 🤗 )