You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
We live in Cajun country along the Gulf Coast and enjoy a lot of seafood so it seems a logical question.
In her earlier years, mom was an excellent cook. I wonder if that's what she's dreaming about... I hope she is making a big pot of gumbo.
Overconfidence was my downfall. I got back up on the stool, smoothly put the clock back on the nail. As I was getting off the stool, dad told me that it's crooked. I looked up real quickly to verify it. Yep. So, looking straight, I reached up to adjust the clock. I let go. And then I felt the clock hit my forehead and then smashed onto the floor.
I yelped, "My head!!" .. Dad saying over and over, "You broke the clock!"... Me with "My head!" ... Dad, "you broke the clock!"
I finally said, "Never mind the clock! It hit my head and it's hurting!"
Dad paused. Then said, "Your head!.... You broke the clock!... You broke the clock!" .... okay... Now I know where I stand in Dad's value system.
Husband and I look around but see nothing amiss. "What thing?"
"That thing. That black thing there."
Husband: "You mean the dog?"
"I don't know what the heck that is, but it's not a dog."
"Don't you remember Cate? Cate's a dog."
"That's not a dog."
"She is a dog. She's a poodle."
"Poodle?" He looked like he was starting to get it.
"You remember Cate, right?"
"I remember Cate. But what the heck is that?"
He'd just awakened from a sleep, so this was unusually bad for him. An hour later, he was giving Cate pets, but Lord knows what he thought he was petting.
My ex-husband's mother lived with us until he moved on to "greener pastures" with another woman, forcing her to move in with her other children. She was in her 70's, diabetic and had poor balance, but darn if she wasn't forever getting up on chairs to put something on the wall or put something away in a cabinet. She was spry, but she scared the heck out of me.
So, today I was visiting my folks and I went down to do some laundry. I could not stay long enough for the dryer to finish so I told Mom I was going to dry the clothes on hangers upstairs. I was worried she would try and go down to get them after I left. Mom said with a scowl "Oh I'm not allowed to do THAT anymore, I'll get 60 lashes if I do!" I started to laugh and then Mom cracked up too. it was a nice moment.
Afterwards, he said firmly, "Those candies are no good for you."
Puzzling over that comment, I realized what he was up to.
I asked, "Why is it no good for me?"
As he was thinking it over, I exclaimed, "You just want the whole candy for yourself!!"
He started laughing.
My 73 year old brother doesn't mind my 93 year old mom either - she still says he drives her crazy
My final words, "Remember, I'm going to shower."
Dad got this mischievous look and replied, "Do you want me to scrub your back?"
I was grossed out and said, "Eeww!"
He started laughing....