For those of you who are caregiving and living with the person you are caring for 24/7, how are you coping?

I have been living away from my home for 6 months. It began with my mother having 2 cataract surgeries. I stayed because she couldn't manage the eye drops. The last day of the eye drops she was diagnosed with lung cancer and dementia. So I stayed. Lung cancer was caught early so only 3 radiation treatments. The day before the first treatment my brother, who also lived here was diagnosed with liver cancer. So I stayed. He died in 6 weeks. Between the dementia and other health issues I feel that she can't be left alone. I see my husband once a week if I'm lucky. I saw my daughter and granddaughter at my brother's funeral. That's the only time I have seen them in months. I feel like I'm trapped in a sinking ship. My daughter and granddaughter can't come to visit because my mom is unable to process a lot of activity and gets upset. I miss my family, my home and my kitty cats. I'm trying so hard to do the best I can for my mother. I just wish I could get a break once in a while. I used to be able to go home for some weekends when my brother was alive. Now it is just her and I. My father died of cancer in 1994. My granddaugher's birthday party is this weekend. I've been trying so hard to find someone to stay with my mother so I can go but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. She will turn 2 tomorrow. I am missing everything. I feel so alone....

Belinda k3, maybe the answer is to have your mother live with you or in assisted living facility near you. We moved my mother in with us (she has dementia )and it wasn't the ideal situation but she has no funds for assited living. So if we go anywhere she goes with us. But we are checking into adult day care so i can run errands on my own. I also still work and have a home health provider come in for the hours i work. It helps to get away and you need too. For me the hardest thing is never being alone which i like. But i tell myself its only for a short time .

LastOne: Thanks so much for this. I dreamed the other night that I should start a discussion with caregivers who live with the person 24/7. AND yeah!!! you did it. I couldn't have done it right now.
I have read each one's post and can relate in so many, many ways. I really got on here tonight because I am depressed and am fighting hard not to let it overtake me like it did in my childhood and up because of my family life with Mom and Dad. You can look up my story if you like.
Right now, I despise my Mother (my father died in 09 as well as my husband). She has ruled my life since I was 10 (when my baby brother was born with special needs). I was the new helper person now. And thus, it continues.
Mom, is the Boss of the home and her Alz is adding to her meanness. I have no friends, my 2 siblings other than baby bro (he lives with us) does not visit. They do not call. I have tried all the suggestions on AG and so far Bro and Sis does not care or respond.
I am ready to run away truly. The only thing keeps me from not is by only child/daughter announced she is pregnant and due in March 2016. I raised her alone. She and I are still so close. If she knew exactly how bad it is here, she would fuss to hog heaven to get me out. As other's mentioned, I can't with Mom still pretty much at herself move her to a NH and she doesn't qualify for Medicaid and no funds to pay for it.YeS! that another story.
So, I am stuck. I went from happy go lucky, kind, appreciative, helping, caring, loving and the lot to just the opposite. I wasn't showing feelings at all for the last 6 months. Now, I am sick at my stomach just to hear her voice, and more. I am angry, "I don't care attitude", resentful, and wanting to live my life now because I will be 57 in Dec. Gotta go.

It's not easy being a 24/7-365 Caregiver as All of You Carers here know. I'm caring for My Mother Who's 86 years and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's 21/2 years ago. Though I'm here in attendance all day. I'm often called two or three times at night. Some times I get so exhausted, I fall asleep on the arm chair for a half hour of longer until Mother rings Her bell from the bedroom. The complete isolation, plus the loniless is the hardest part for Me. Being cut off from the World outside. THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET. What keeps Me going is knowing that My Mother was always there for Me, without hesitation..now it's My time to be here for Mom. I'm positively certain that none of Us could carry out Our Care giving duties every day without Love in Our heart's for those We care. In the end I'm sure We will all gain the greatest inner peace.

I also like to talk with others who are loving with their loved one, as am i. I hope to start a facebook group if all are interested. My salvation is.morning help but been in this 7.5 years . Cannot find someone for my grandaughters bday this weekend, have missed alot and have gone to h*ll myself. I would never use a nh , i am in it for the forever. My mom was great to me, she deserves it. Hugs to all

I'm coping..have no choice. .I feel all of the emotions everyone else has shared..and I gotta tell ya.. I'm tired.

I'm fairly recent to this site and it is s blessing of sort. I, too, care 24/7 for my. 96 year old mom who has dementia ( not Alzheimer's) and experience all the issues each 24/7 caregiver experiences. My one sibling lives in CA so is really not available. I have tried to live my. 72 years without allowing quilt to control so recently sought counseling to vent my true feelings about this situation which I chose almost three years ago when I knew my mom could no longer live alone. In that time I had a six month break when I took my mother to CA to my brother. During that period my sister-in-law experienced a stroke which she says may have been precipitated by the stress of caregiving. I brought mom home June of last year and here we are. I decided yo use some of mom's money (she has too much for Medicaid , not enough for more than a few months of self pay) to have someone provide 8-16 day hours a week. But I still a prisoner because life is south more. To help preserve my mental health I have decided to assess my situation at year end. If I believe I can continue I will again assess at moms 98th birthday in May. Meanwhile, I have an appointment with an eldercare attorney to determine how to move forward if my assessment says I need to be done. I believe I have been and am a good daughter doing the best I can, but I also believe that my mom had had. 96 years of good health (and is even now considered in excellent physical health with five meds) and a good life. I believe I deserve to at least have the chance at the same. My personal belief for my own future had been expressed to my only child and dearest friends--life without mind is existing only, not living and I would chose for myself not to. This is long but I offer it as a small way of sharing how I believe (and feel ) I can try to take charge of my life (with, of course, prayer and faith that if I continue to not just give in but to do something, life will take care of this situation. To all my fellow caregivers I offer prayer for each of us to know: our conscience, our limits and limitations, our deepest held beliefs about life, our knowledge of how guilt depresses, our ability to recognize and accept our truest feelings about our situations, and finally, our faith and acceptance of our decisions. God bless us and those loved ones we care for.

My mom has been living with us for 2 1/2 years now. It's mainly me taking care of her with a little help from my husband. Mom is in moderate dementia now, but insists she doesn't need a 'babysitter.' Well, she does if one of us is going to be gone longer than a couple of hours. Consequently, I get very few breaks, and I rarely get to go anywhere with my husband. I've missed all of our grandkids' school sports games because Mom doesn't enjoy them, so I can't go unless we have someone to stay with her. We rarely get to have our kids/grandkids over at the house because Mom does not like company. Everything is done for Mom's convenience, and she still finds something to complain about. The cold, especially. We had to keep our house at 85 degrees last year and even then, she was covered in blankets and shawls. I shudder to think how much warmer it will need to be this year. I have one brother who is trying to retire and move near me to be of help to me, which I desperately need. Another brother, who came out for 5 days in January, complained about my house, my dog, where we lived, how hot the house was, how it smelled (We live on a ranch, and he was referring to the corrals), etc. We have decided we don't need his help anymore. We are just trying to keep Mom out of the nursing home, so she can die at home. My uncles put my Grandma in a nursing home (When she was still sharp as a tack!) and she died just months later! I didn't want that to happen to our mom.

Debra, I know what you are talking about. We want to keep our parent home as long as possible, but it can be hard to find a compromise. The temperature that lets them be comfortable puts us under physical stress. I can't work if we have the thermostat set on what my mother likes. I compromise and try to keep it at 79-80 during the warmer months. Winter isn't so bad. I can close my vents and let her keep her part of the house warm (most of it) as she wants.

I don't know about you, but we go through temperature "games" here that are like being jerked around. She says she's cold and the house is warm enough. I close her vents to keep the air condition out. A bit later she says she's hot and suffocating, so I open the vents. A bit later she's cold. ACK! I spend so much time trying to keep her comfortable. Actually, I don't think it is the temperature as much as the air movement that she is sensing.

My mother is the same way of thinking that she can stay alone. It is the hardest part of me taking a long respite. She doesn't need to go anywhere or have someone come in, according to her. I can just write down what pills to take and when. She will be fine. Yeah, right. I know better than that.

Most of the time it seems to me that old folks and young are not made to live together. What is good for one slowly kills the other. We have to compromise to keep it as healthy as we can for both old and young.

As always, I am so grateful for this forum and the wonderful people on it. Even though circumstances are frustrating, seem impossible at times, and I too want to run away for a long time now, the sharing and even taking small suggestions has helped me cope better, the anger is much less! When I am away from here too long, I start to wonder how you all are getting along. If it's someone that has struck a cord, I look for them, wonder how to help or what to say to lighten their load. Even though there are no words sometimes, I am thinking of you!

Like so many others here I have a tremendous amount of guilt, anger, and resentment. I'm angry that my mother put me in this situation, but in all honesty I'm more angry at my brother who won't step up to help. He lives 1200 miles away, yet the one and only time my mother visited him he wasn't welcoming or made her feel included. He left the communication to his wife. So my mother doesn't want to go back. So, I decided to take charge of my life because I kept seeing my 95 year old mother going strong and outliving me. I figure that by the time she passed I'd be into my 70s and would have lost the energy to live life since I've had 2 different cancer diagnoses. I decided to get out of the house before work every morning and lift weights. I lost 40 pounds, eat healthy and work out every day. I'm determined that her life isn't any more valuable than mine, and I'm going down fighting.

I am not doing well at all, yet reading these responses makes me feel like I might not have it so bad after all. So many caregivers are using up our lives to sacrifice for a loved one. My husband has moderate to severe alzheimers, but is still okay at home by himself during the day, that is if nothing out of the ordinary happens. I work full-time to keep all the bills paid, and while my job itself is not really stressful, my stress is high regardless. I go from one full time job to another full time job, one that pays and one that costs.

I just finished a four day stay in the hospital after an ambulance ride from the doctor's office to the er with possible heart issues. Heart checks out fine, strong. Now we have to eliminate other reasons, but I have to admit that was the the most relaxing, and in a weird way, enjoyable four days I've had in years. So maybe the food wasn't the greatest, but someone else fixed it and put the plate in front of me - wow, that was nice. I took care of no one, and everyone took care of me, regularly reminding me that they were there just for me - me! It made me realize how little time and energy I have for myself, and that it's okay for other people to be concerned about me. Only one day passed after I got home and my husband forgot I was had been in the hospital and was back in his routine of focus only on his issues and pain. I've already taken him to the doctor once and haven't even gotten my appointment set to go back to see my doctor to sort out my physical situation.

You all know how these "selfish" feelings wear us out and down. I long for a "normal" life, having coffee with a friend, taking walks, trying new recipes, shopping, (what is that? shopping? its been so long) all those things that I took for granted before. I know you are all feeling the same. I pray for you and for me to find comfort through others and just do the best we can - while we can.

I'm an only child with no other blood relatives in the country to help me care for my very, very slow declining mother. She lives with me. My father expired eight years ago. The AC website is an invaluable resource and since finding it my spirits have been lifted - because I don't feel so alone in my feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness, guilt...I run the gamut on the good and bad emotions everyday. The friends I grew up with are not in my position yet, or their loved ones are in a nursing home due to advanced on-set of disease. I'm thankful for being my parents' caregiver because I now know the realities of what is needed for quality of life when I'm elderly. Before my parents became ill, I didn't think about growing old - with significant medical issues - and what options do I have to live independently if struck with a debilitating illness or in a safe (hopefully!) group home. So how I cope is seeing my disabled mother - and working my ass off to live the best physical, mental, emotional health I can as I don't want to end up like her. For years I wasn't taking care of myself and I put all my heart into bettering my mother's health - to only see her decline shortly afterwards. Recently, I decided "No more!!" and I'm taking care of myself. How I cope is making - and implementing - plans to move on with my life - no - to have a life!

Oh wow, it seems to be a universal situation. I am a 24/7 caregiver for both of my elderly parents, living in my childhood home with them. Right now it is mainly physical ailments. But,boy do I go through the whole range of emotions, also. Thank goodness for this forum and the angels who founded it and keep it going. Thank you, thank you and three cheers! It has been a godsend and helps me to keep soldiering on. Onward and forward and best of luck to everyone!

I have gone from the roller coaster to a bucking bronco these last few weeks. This week has been the pits. Sunday my mother was fine. Monday she wanted to go to the hospital, but I didn't think she needed it. Tuesday she was fine. Today (Wednesday) she wants to go to the hospital. We have relatives coming in tomorrow, so I am getting the house cleaned. It is a high stress time for all. I told her I would take her in a few minutes if she felt like she really needed to go. Usually when we go to the er or urgent care, nothing is really wrong, so I spend a whole afternoon because of her fear. But then I worry what if something is really wrong this time.

I dread the holidays, since the stress brings out the worst behavior. She is sick and dying almost every day, often needing to go to the doctor or hospital. Anytime I say I don't think it's needed, she gets angry and starts yelling that I don't care if she dies. I've been through it so many times before, but it rattles me anytime she does it.

I'm going to talk with family this week and see what is best to do. I know they'll say whatever I feel is best. I'm watching these next few days. It may be time for her to go into the hospital and then to rehab, so we can take things from there. It's scary reading about heart attacks and other problems of caregivers on here and know that I need to get the stress off of me. I'm too old myself to be dealing with this type of stress by myself daily.

It's amazing! Every one of these answers could have been written by me! At the end of Ausust, my 97 year old mom had her hand swell and it was quite painful. She was also anemic which affected her energy level and mental status. I was physically and emotionally spent and not knowing where to turn, called a local nursing home where mom had spent a week of respite this summer so I could get away.they were able to take her. She has been there for a month and a half. She is slowly getting used to it but still has days that she is angry. I have run the gamut of emotions and feel guilty that I can no longer give her the care she needs. I love her and want the best for her. I am slowly coming around to accepting this is good for both of us. I know have some of that me time everyone said I needed but was too guilty to take. This is a great place to share because only another caregiver knows what you are going through!

All of these enlighting thoughts are caring for an aged parent. I hope others find a kindred spirit and support reading these thoughts. My question follows along but would like people to share their feelings about caring 24/7 for a life partner with dementia when both are in their 80's.

Crumbs I ended up in an ER just like you did ( caretaker for husband mid stage AD) I had to have a blood transfusion kept overnight, then an upper & lower to find the bleed, there was none found, so although they say stress can not cause it Dr does agree it does because under stress all your regular habits are screwed up. I just let myself go too far. SPONCOVE that is really tough when both are the same age I don't think I would have lasted very long if I was 84 like my husband, being 14 years his junior is the only thing getting me through going on 9 years of this now, and it still took me down with it, so take care of yourself first, you cannot be helpful to your life partner if you get ill. Please feel free to talk on here, and feel at home.

We need out own site, we home caregivers! I put a glass door on moms bedroom and her own heater in there. I do not heat the entire house anymore but when I did it was only 70 degrees. On one of her ER visits years ago due to a severe nosebleed, they told me too hot isnt good . She has so many furry blankets and socks and her toom is nice and warm. I have a table in there, its where we eat, watch tv, and she sleeps. She cannot walk so I suppose in that instance its easier for me. Mom is staying with me forever. I am sick of my morning caregiver, as much as I love the help and I will continue with the help, I am so sick of having people in my house. Anyone else feel like that, lol. Hang in there allllll.

I chose prayer and scripture reading for Caregiving. God listens ALWAYS!

Like BrianCares, I am a single gay man without any other family. I moved in with my folks in 2010 to care for them full time and it's been quite a journey. There have been lots of times that I've wished it was all over and I have seen days where I felt I could no longer cope. Being in therapy has helped, but it's still the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. When I first came here it was mainly to help my mother with things, my father was relatively independent. Since then, my father's condition has grown worse and now I have to do almost everything for them, take care of the finances, plan for final expenses. What's worse is that my mother has developed dementia and, though she's always aware that I am someone she deeply loves, she often forgets who I am or what my relationship is to her. My father developed delusions while struggling with a nasty UTI; he's now much better, but he still hallucinates in the early morning hours - he'll call me and ask me to "get rid of all those people who are talking in the living room." Each new step in their decline is difficult and heart breaking to bear, but I'm lucky to have a lot of hobbies that I love (reading, board gaming, studying music) and I've also returned to school. But the fact that I can rarely leave the house and, when I do, have to pay someone to watch my folks, has made me feel very lonely and isolated.I have a best friend in LA who I talk to every day, but it doesn't replace having friends here and feeling socially independent. Yet, I know I'm doing the right thing and that I won't regret this. I get lots of love from both my parents and we've always been close. I suppose that's why I'm so adamantly against putting them into a rest home or even assisted living. I'm planning to join a caregivers' support group, but so far it seems that they all meet at night and I can't leave my mom alone after dark; I believe she has "sundowner's syndrome" and gets extremely agitated and disoriented at night. Thanks to everyone here for sharing your own experiences and suggestions.

Charlie97, I am pretty much homebound too, caring for my 92 yr. old Mom who is completely bedridden. I find a lot of support and comfort here on AC and it is a good place to learn things, ask questions or just plain vent! I don't know how I could have gotten through this without this site and knowing that others are going through the same things with caregiving.

Charlie: You've picked the right site to help with caregiving! This is a place to vent, a shoulder to lean on.

I'm barely hanging by a thread. Not only do I work a demanding full time job as an office manager, I have BOTH my elderly parents living with me. My mom is 85 and has COPD, emphysema, on oxygen 24/7, has a pacemaker & multiple other medical issues and can barely walk from her bedroom to the living room without being short of breath. She complains about nothing and thanks me profusely every day for all I do for them. She's a peach compared to my father. My father is 88 and he is in relatively good physical health for his age but has macular degeneration. His problem is that he has always been and continues to be hypercritical about everyone & everything. No one does anything right. E-V-E-R. If you look up narcissist in the dictionary, you will probably see a picture of "dad". He has been this way his entire life so I know there is no changing him. I hear those dreaded words..."You're not doing it right" and I just want to explode! Everything is a snarky argument from the type of trash bags I buy to the way I vacuum the house. It's exhausting. Being raised during the Depression he is also a hoarder and saves everything because "I might need that one day". Neither one of them drives much anymore so I have to do all their shopping and take them to all their appointments. I have one brother who lives across the country and graces us with his presence about once a year, occasionally calls to see how Mom & Dad are doing but never calls me to see how I am doing or how he can help. At one time it had been 5 or 6 years since he visited and when he did he was treated like the "little prince"........OH Look who traveled all the way from XYZ to visit. If I want to take a vacation I usually have to call him and tell him to "step up and come out to take care of them" because I am burned out after years of this. I'm so glad I found this site with others that are in the same situations in caring for their elderly parents. Thanks for listening to my rant (just typing it out has made me feel better)

I think that BOUNDARIES has become keyword for me. Now, if I could just learn how to set them.....

I wasn't. My mom and I used to fight all the time. She resented me reminding her to do things and would reply with all sort of excuses why she didn't when all I wanted to to was remind her and be helpful.
Finally she moved into assisted living but that is also bad. I still have to take her to all her appointments and follow up with the facility. The plan of care is a pain in the neck...she can't have any OTC items unless they are on the plan. Then the long term care pharmacy wants to send them. It's all about money I think.
She hates the foot there. I feel guilty and wonder if I should bring her home? But then I am not financially able to retire and so would have to find home health aides and I worry about that. I have elderly dogs. I'm single, no siblings. There is no one else to help very much.
I feel guilty and awful all of the time. I am stressed and burned out. I feel terrible.

Hanging on......often by just a thread. I feel frustrated and resentful. I also feel like nothing is truly mine anymore - the house has become grand central station and what is mine is.............. theirs. (I have 2 elders here).

Jessebelle, I have a finger pistol too!! It fires up all the time. Oh, and you're so right about all the preparations...... just to get a bit of respite. Sigh
Reverseroles - yes I'm sick of all the people coming and going in my house too.

I agree with comments about our change in "status". It's true, we have been demoted to caregiver - yes they call us "saints" but we are now...........less than.

To give some credibility to my comments:
I am a widow caring for my MIL (bedbound w/dementia) for 2 1/2 years in my house. It's the disease - I know I know - but she swears at me all day long. The one good thing about her is that she stays put.
My own mother moved in with me 5 months ago. She is bipolar with early dementia but she never stops moving. She is up at 7 am and goes till 9 pm. She "roots through" my refrigerator, cupboards, closets etc. She leaves water running and turns on every light in the house.
So I have a 90 year old who swears from her bed - but stays put...........
and I have a 90 year old who never stops moving and disturbing "my stuff"

I work full time from my basement office and that is my only sanctuary. Respite for me used to be a short run to the grocery store or meeting a friend for a quick lunch. - that is - at the only restaurant close to my house. (I am so sick of that restaurant now). But now with my mother running around, I have to bring her with me!!!
It feels like I drag around 2 anchors all the time. Lots of negative feelings arise and I am grateful that you all are willing to admit that you have those feelings too! It helps so much. Thank you all.

Wisepati... You're so right... It's such a tough of war, especially when you have the greed factor from the health 'systems' etc. I understand as I thought of these things with my mother also. I try to take the road 'less' stressful, but the roads are limited. You're doing the best you can... We have to support ourselves and it's our birth right to be happy (just like anyone, including our parent, etc). Give yourself a lot of credit for all you have done (which is a lot!) and try to live your life as best as you can. Force yourself to get outside the 'box'. We're here to acknowledge that you're a wonderful daughter and you're not alone. Keep writing here...

I am in the 5th year of caring for my Mom. I stopped working in April 2014 because of my own health issues, which have just continued to worsen. I was the most patient person in the world and I love my Mom to the moon and back. But lately, things have become unbearable. I live with her and her husband, who is verbally abusive, has physically attacked me twice and has issues with hair-trigger anger. You never know when he's going to blow and it could be something major or minor that causes it. It has gotten to the point where he starts a fight - in front of my Mom - every time he enters our room. He sabotages everything he does so that nothing is done correctly or to the benefit of my Mom, much less me. He walks out on her when he wants, leaves her hooked to the Hoyer lift or sitting in the wheelchair in the middle of the room. He speaks to both of us like we're dogs and has a huge chip on his shoulder because she no longer caters to his every whim. He is making both of our lives miserable, yet she continues to defend him at every turn. Her dementia is getting worse and impacting her brain's ability to tell her what to do for herself. Her memory is virtually about 15 seconds long. She feels bad all the time and does nothing but complain these days. Now she has also started whining all the time. Because I am waiting on a disability decision, I'm stuck here with the two of them. My life is in storage and their house is so full that no one can hardly get in the door. My sister, who lives far away, constantly tells me what I should be doing and what I'm doing wrong. A year ago, I would have said we're doing great, but now, I am depressed, feel trapped, angry and nasty all the time. I'm starting There is no escape and it's come to the point of my step-father is going to have to leave or I am. But if I go, I'll have to take her with me because he certainly is not going to take care of her. I think God and APS will have to resolve this one because I can't. Things are getting worse daily and now we have the absent family of my sister arriving for the holidays just in time to make things even worse. My Mom and I have been so incredibly close until recently and the guilt I feel is overwhelming because I have lost all patience. She lives in a fantasy that her husband is the love of her life - NOT! He is a selfish, abusive bully. I just wish I had convinced her to leave him long before now. I just found out that his kids were terrified of him growing up and stayed away as much as possible - which of course, now explains why they are never around. I told his son last week that he and his sister need to start thinking about what to do with him because I will not be the one to take care of him if he needs it. So that, in a nutshell, is how I am not coping any longer. I have been a caregiver for family members and friends most of my life, but this gig is killing me and I'm angry that I'm turning into a person that I despise. I'm certainly no longer any good for myself or my Mom. But again, because I gave up everything to be here for her, I have nothing left and can't leave. And they have no money to hire additional help because Mom's husband won't listen to me when I tell him not to spend any money (but too much money to get any assistance). He does the opposite of anything I say because he resents "being told what to do." Sorry for the rant, but it has all gotten to be too much in the last few months. I can't get the motivation together to even do the things I need to do to manage the household. I lost my own medical and dental insurance as well, so I can't get help either. I'm just hoping this will get better before it gets worse, or at the very least, that I can hang in there until APS will do something to help. God bless every single caregiver out there, because I don't think people who haven't walked in our shoes have the first clue about how badly giving our all can destroy us.

I didn't cope. I thought I was, but I was in denial about how hard I was finding it all. Having lived with me for 15 years and needed a caregiver for 8 or so Mum was hospitalised with a UTI in July and I broke down and realised I couldn't carry join when she got out. Wonderful family doctor (since retired, thank goodness he hadn't gone in July) made me realise that Mum might have another 10+ years of slow decline and she was taking me with her. So, tough call, but I refused to have her back living with me. After a few weeks and many tears on my part (this was by far the hardest thing I have ever done), she has now been in an ALF since September. She's happy (most of the time, she moans but it's because things aren't *exactly* how she thinks they should be) and I have a semblance of normal life again.
I visit her 3-4 times a week (not enough IHO), I'm managing to do some work again and I've even very slowly begun to get a social life back. It was the best thing I ever did.
I admire you all who stay the course til the end, but I just couldn't do it and if I had my time again, I wouldn't even attempt it.