Hi AC Forum,
I feel like I run the gamut of emotions on a weekly basis. I think that is a difficult side of this caregiving. Not being able to fully satisfy - or not being able to satisfy for what should be a normnal period of time. And on the same token know that each day you go down this path you just running to the finish line.
It's the craziest and horrible life as I am not able to live my life, yet I have a hard time thinking of my mom living with less. Also not being the face of which she says to at first seeing her and asking her how she is, "Better now that I see you!" Knowing that you are the comfort in their sight. Yet what it takes from one feels enormous - emotionally, monetarily, physically.
How are you doing?
LastOne
And I can't help but wonder what do we end up becoming after such deeply traumatic experiences?
At the end, or maybe before the end, what happens to people like us? Do we barely survive and live whatever life we have left with a heavy baggage that no one that's not gone through this can understand and therefore we end up feeling isolated forever? or have we abused so much our minds and body that we do not even survive for long?
Are we still functioning human beings after this is what I wonder.
And then maybe history repeats itself as someone else is burdened with having to care for us!
How to break this cycle is what I don't understand. The only lifesaver is better planning for the future. I'm sure most of our loved ones did not want this life for us, nor for them; did not want to be the reason for our unhappiness. And I'm sure most of us did never imagine resenting our loved ones for, in a way, stealing our lives from us.
I feel that when we think about these general and fundamental truths we realize life isn't meant to be like this, yet it seems to be the only way for us. But it is worth it to take an step back and look at the situation again, trying to find a different angle, and maybe and just maybe we may find a little window for a change and normality that starts breaking this cycle!
Sorry to not exactly have responded to the question but reading all our answers I realized there is a great illogical side to the way we are living what to us seems to be our only path! Hence, worth to take a deep breath, close our eyes and look at the situation again with a fresh set of eyes. We might find a little light that helps us brighten up our way!
May God bless us all!!
Well, I am coping by having signed up for culinary school and am busy with cooking! So I focus on the doing and the cleaning up
and serving my son! (Sometimes he doesn't eat what I cook so pizza wins out! But that's young adults for you!) However, some days it's not all a bed of roses- but I thought it would be helpful to others to throw out this idea or even some other hobby helps. I also find animals help too, horses and dogs.
I am glad to hear your husband is up & about! Your love & caring has made a difference, know that.
Others may offer advice on our loved ones care; telling us to relinquish our role or consider placing. Maybe even giving us sadder news. Those others, even though their intents may be good, are not in our shoes. Making tough decisions are personal ones. We know our loved ones & ourselves.
As caregivers we may harp on all the doom & gloom we face, yukky stuff we hate, behavior challenges 24/7, but we don't give ourselves credit, pats on our backs.
Often I question why I took this role on, "What was I thinking," I ask? I question choices & decisions. Yet I know I've made a difference for my brother in this fight with ALZ.
Caregivers your love & caring makes a difference, but, all you do matters all the time.
Blessings 🌸
Sorry. Reminisce your wonderful memories during this sad time. Your love & commitment, along with prayers & faith, will get you thru. Blessings