Hi AC Forum,
I feel like I run the gamut of emotions on a weekly basis. I think that is a difficult side of this caregiving. Not being able to fully satisfy - or not being able to satisfy for what should be a normnal period of time. And on the same token know that each day you go down this path you just running to the finish line.
It's the craziest and horrible life as I am not able to live my life, yet I have a hard time thinking of my mom living with less. Also not being the face of which she says to at first seeing her and asking her how she is, "Better now that I see you!" Knowing that you are the comfort in their sight. Yet what it takes from one feels enormous - emotionally, monetarily, physically.
How are you doing?
LastOne
UGH!!!
Erin... Same for you... aHang in ther with us... We'll keep venting here!
Love you guys!.... 💓🌻🎶😘
I don't know how much is purposeful. People say those with dementia don't know they're doing certain things. In my mother's case, I know she is aware of some things. For example, my mother is diabetic and knows she shouldn't eat too many sugar-free cookies. Sometimes when I come in the room she has two hands with cookies in them. She'll try to hide them from me. Yesterday she even sat on two of them to hide them. I don't get on to her severely or anything, it is just that she still knows she's doing something she isn't supposed to, so she hides it. Of course, she'll deny it, even as she is sitting on cookies.
I have a feeling that your wife figured she'd fix all the problems later and didn't want you to know, so she hid things. It is like a child's response -- hiding a bad report card -- instead of working things through like an adult. Unfortunately, the problem doesn't go away even when hidden. I'm glad you love her. I know it is going to be rough for you. Good luck!
This really has to be temporary thing because my husband and I want to start a family and I don't feel I its feasible to do that and care for my mother and do my full time job. But my husband has been good about reassuring me that we can't be intimidated by the extra stuff we have to do to keep her safe, and help her to feel more at home. And my brother is fully helping us with expenses and he'll be around to help with his fair share of expenses, that's reassuring as well.