Hi AC Forum,
I feel like I run the gamut of emotions on a weekly basis. I think that is a difficult side of this caregiving. Not being able to fully satisfy - or not being able to satisfy for what should be a normnal period of time. And on the same token know that each day you go down this path you just running to the finish line.
It's the craziest and horrible life as I am not able to live my life, yet I have a hard time thinking of my mom living with less. Also not being the face of which she says to at first seeing her and asking her how she is, "Better now that I see you!" Knowing that you are the comfort in their sight. Yet what it takes from one feels enormous - emotionally, monetarily, physically.
How are you doing?
LastOne
Bit I want to ask have anyone heard of UNIVERSITY OF TASMANIA? They offer FREE dementia classes. Omg. Look it up. Take the classes. It is all online
They have great great information. I have never gotten through a whole course because of my responsibilities as a caregiver and dealing with my own illnesses! Yep, illnesses....and family, but it has helped me out a great deal.
The site is: mooc.utas.edu.au
Go check it out. Hope it helps you as it did for me.
Gof bless!🙏🏼
My GOD be with you.
If my mom needs more pants, I can get them at a thrift store for cheap. Same goes for bedsheets and shoes.
I would throw out the poopy shoes if I were you just to save my time and sanity.
Have Faith Dear One. Ask God to give you strength he will. And I know he is your husband but you deserve a life. I hope that doesn't sound too heartless but I have to do something now with my mother so I can have a couple of years of life. I'm still young at heart anyway.
God Bless and Good Luck
(((hugs))) There is so much on your plate. It's so hard on daughters with the amount of care we are expected to give unconditionally. My dad passed away almost 5 years ago and I felt as you did. Looking back I wished I made a different choice and maybe let him be in a nursing facility. Over time the anger and resentment and frustration and tiredness takes a toll. I know it's not an easy decision. After my dad passed away, I was still raw about what I could have done to keep him alive longer. I feel like it's a no win situation for us caregivers.
I feel it is one of those black versus white situations with no grey areas. No breathing breaks.
My heart goes out to you Tynagh, as I feel we carry the weight of the same cross. One day, one half a day, one hour at a time, is the best way I have found to survive from a practical perspective. 💜
I feel that if I was caring for Dad all by myself, I might be at the end of my rope... and my heart goes out to those that do. I have mom, who is 84 herself, and my husband, who is disabled but able to help when needed.
It’s not so bad for me and I believe it has everything to do with my Faith in God...everything... I don’t know that I could handle it without Him :)
Taking one hour at a time
Check out our lab website with studies for caregivers and their loved ones: https://medicine.yale.edu/lab/monin/
{Permission acquired to share - According to our Terms of Use regarding solicitation of members, AgingCare has verified the validity of this research study in order to allow it to remain on the Caregiver Forum for any interested party to participate}
some are small 40 residents .. private room with bathroom/or share one other person., depending budget. Staff really nice friendly lots activities ... good meals and you can visit.. take your LO outings as often as you like... your relationship will be
much better and healthier for both of you.. and you can go back to being husband and not just an exhausted cranky caregiver.
you’ll still be looking after her ....
good luck