My mom is Bipolar/ narcissist like my sibling in town. I have no help at all with my elderly mom. Yet I try every second of my life to please this woman! Nothing works! And she insults me daily - I am dumb, fat, ugly, lazy, and I AM SELFISH! I FEEL worthless, I try harder not good enough. She actually accuses my husband & I of stealing her money. We have our own & we are not theives! We need help with HER stuff so we use her money! She is now starting to do these rude things to my kids! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS HOW CAN I STOP THIS BEHAVIOR IN THIS WOMAN! My usually POSITIVE HOME IS A NEGATIVE MEAN household BECAUSE OF HER! I ask for help from sibling in the same town like 20mins away but ITS A BOTHER TO HER! Like she literally tells me suck it up I'm tired. She has the same issues as mom. I need to hire help I can't do this anymore. All this & my kids have serious chronic illnesses & my drs are worried I may have stomach Cancer. I told them both because I'm scared & I need moral support for myself! Of course THEY BOTH BRUSHED IT OFF, FOR DIFFERENT LAME SELFISH EXCUSES! BECAUSE IM NOTHING TOO THEM! THEY DIDNT EVEN ASK IF I WAS OK! MY HUSBAND IS DONE WITH ALL OF THIS! SO AM I! BUT WHAT CAN WE DO! WE ARE STUCK! WE CARE TOO MUCH! FAMILY IS SUPPOSED CARE FOR EACH OTHER!
You can ask her nicely to find another living situation, but if she wont, find a legal remedy, which is eviction.
Oh, and when she says "how could you?" tell her "how could you treat my children like that?" What goes around comes around.
You will never be good enough for your mother or sibling. Ever. Narcissists never accept responsibility for anything. They are always right and you are always wrong. Narcissists have no compassion for anyone but themselves. It's all about them. Narcissists never change. Only you can. You have done enough. Get your mother out of your home and into some sort of assisted living situation. Go no contact before she destroys you and your family. No guilt!