If I ever come down with this disease, I want someone to put a pillow over my head. Honestly. I have even asked a lawyer if there was something I could write into a living will. Obviously there isn’t. I actually daydream about ways to end it if it happens to me because I don’t want anyone to deal with this. Why do we let our pets die with dignity, but not our humans?
In California now I can avail myself of MAiD. Medical Aid in dying. And with the resurgence of the cancer I have everything already all set up. Kaiser is just WAITING to give me that six months thing, ha ha. I am kidding. But it IS set up already. I can get the meds when the guess is for six months and they would be doing palliative before that, so the good drugs, the good drugs, the good drugs and I could skip hospice. Go right to the big cocktail. Just your formulary making it, delivering and explaining it. You family or whomever you would like with you. And basically you only have to be able to swallow.
The European Pegasos and Dignitas now allows those with Alzheimer's to avail themselves. The process is onerous.
FEN will guide you in DIY. Not all that difficult, actually. My brother and I discussed this process.
In answer, no unless you are very "in their face" anyone helping you is very very unlikely to be prosecuted. But you do see cases where the information is too available, too blatant, and cannot be ignored.
And yes, EMS gets called late if someone wishes to "go".
Best thing to do? Talk to your doctor. Have the conversation. Tell what you want. Do a GOOD advance directive (whether you are 25 or 95), have it scanned to your chart, now easily done. Get the POLST if you are of an age. Join FEN (Final Exit Network). BE informed. Be informed. Be informed.
A very elderly lady visited her very elderly sister in hospital. Nasty fracture, stable but slim chance of return to living home alone. Patient found non-resposive shortly afterwards. Examined, surivived, questions asked.. Sister admitted to bringing in Vodka & offering that for her Sister to down her pain medication with. It had long been their plan to assist each other in this way if needed.
(Ending: Sister survived, rehabbed & did return home alone. For how long? No idea)
Gosh it makes me think.. about choice & control. When is someone deemed to be in their 'right mind'? How long after surgery? If on strong pain meds? How does offering differ to providing the means or directly assisting? How would a court of law handle such a thing? Would someone well into their 90s be charged with assisting a suicide? Or even murder?
This must have happened on the old days, right?
What is considered actively assisting? Or what about actively ignoring?
I heard someone once say calling emergency services would be the expected thing to do.. yet.. maybe they could.. walk to the phone v e r y, v e r y slowly.
This sweet man endured to the end and it was awful.
I have a son in law who is a Dr and he has said that if I want to exit this life he will find a way to do it. This is a topic that comes up over and over again in the medical community.
I am a cancer survivor and I already know that when the cancer returns, I am not going to treat it. This upsets my Dh. but this is MY life and I will not put myself through the indignity that was cancer tx again.
This disease has ruined the relationship I had with my aunt. She's not the aunt I could call and chat with for wisdom from an elder. It's all gone.
I remember when I first visited my aunt, her neighbor warned me before I got through the screen door that she is not the aunt that I knew. She was right.
I say it and I mean it. If I come down with it, I don't want to be here, either.
I wouldnt want dialysis either, I'm making a mental check list when. I read this forum
Figure that out while your sound mind and have it on your charts. I'm with ya there!
I know Alzheimer's excludes right to die but it's also good to those laws too
Not sure what state you are in, Ny is trying to pass a right to die, I'm actually not sure if it passed or not.
But Vermont has it, and I boarder Vermont, and I do know NYS said people can go to A Vermont doctor to have a right to die. I think it's called something else.
So , yeah I do think of that stuff too. But also Needs help is right, enjoy the little things that make us happy
My thought is to hoard pain pills and chase them down with some good whiskey if and when the time comes I'm ready to leave this life.
You most assuredly CAN secure the future you wish for.
A) get a good advance directive form. If you are, say, a Kaiser member, or another hospital assn they will often provide you one. You will then
B) PERSONALIZE this with your stipulations about what constitutes meanful life for you. And what you will NOT ACCEPT ever under any circumstances. For me it is Dialysis, chemo, radiation, administration of any artificially introduced PEG, NG or TPN nutrition
AND ETC.
C) This you take TO YOUR DOCTOR and you make out a POLST which constitutes a MD order for no CPR or ventilator. This with your handwritten feelings and dictates get SCANNED INTO YOUR CHART. Be certain this is done. The POLST is in your home hanging on a wall. That prevents EMS from doing what legally they must otherwise do to bring you back.
D) You make your feelings and wishes clear to MD
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY to your FAMILY.
You work for MAiD laws (right to die) which my MD already has scanned into my chart I will avail myself of when able. And my MD's agreement.
You join FEN, the Final Exit group; they will keep you informed on much better methods than the pillow and you will have in fact a right to die guide or doula when you wish to have one.50.00 a year for all of this and for your rights to join their seminars and etc. Contact Final Exit Network at PO Box 10071, Tallahassee, FL., 32302 and at 866 654 9137.
Like everything else in life this is a matter of your rights, your wishes and making them known. Writing us that you wish a pillow won't work; and is a nasty way to go.
I am 81 and ready to go. I will be going when this second cancer of mine spreads WITH the good meds and WITHOUT treatments. And I have, through Kaiser, talked all of this out with MDs, Social Worker and Nurse Case Manager.
I have felt this way for well over two decades now, and have prepared the way for myself.
I wish you the very best.
I know that you know that people in our country die EVERY DAY of fentanyl overdoses and of inhaling the gases from a heater or burners in on position without a flame.
Whole families simply go off to sleep and never wake up. And these are families that had no intention of dying, but who did, without pain, and without so much as a squeak.
You also have a right NOT to accept medications that will keep you living longer. That's up to you, because NOT taking your BP meds may not kill you, but may allow you to stoke badly enough to wish you were dead.
Stay healthy as you can. Never stop moving.
I have a friend who has been divorced three times. She has an incredible sense of humor.
My friend asked me after her last divorce to please shoot her if she ever said that she was going to get married again. Hee hee 😛.
I understand your feelings about not ever wanting to be told that you have Alzheimer’s disease. I don’t think anyone ever wants to hear those words, or any words that predict life changing events.
Of course, research is vital in determining better ways to treat Alzheimer’s disease in patients. Ideally, a cure will be discovered by researchers.
Fortunately, we are humane when it comes to how we treat animals.
Change is slow. It wasn’t that long ago when we saw animals being mistreated in the circus.
People spoke up about how animals were being abused and they no longer wanted to see circus performances as entertainment.
Continue to speak out about your concerns. Hopefully, one day we will see change for humans too. It’s difficult when the topic is considered highly controversial and complex.
There are people who look at this as a moral dilemma. I don’t see it this way but others do. I feel like we should have the option to end our lives if we wish. Assisted suicide is not legal in our state.
Sometimes, I feel like life is luck of the draw. We can plan, we can do our best, but ultimately we don’t have control over every aspect of our lives.
Know that you are doing all that you can. Realize that you can’t prevent unforeseen events from happening in your life. Enjoy all the beautiful moments in your life while you can.
It all comes down to money. Healthcare is a "business" and it shouldn't be. It should be a service. The same way that government is not supposed to be a "business". It's supposed to be a service. Hospitals, clinics, rehabs, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, memory care faclities... are profit making businesses.
Old age is big money for the right people and institutions. Especially if an old person has good insurance in addition to Medicare. Or they have assets like real estate, savings accounts, insurance policies, and investment. They're real cash-cows. So it's keep an elderly person with no quality of life alive at any costs to keep the cash flowing, but let some young person who's poor and has lousy insurance or none, make his peace with God and go.
This I think is why I think animals can legally be treated with more mercy and compassion than human beings.