People don't realize what it involves with taking care of an elderly parent. It's life changing......it's almost like a curse.......it's terrible. I have no time for myself......had to quit my job......have siblings that won't help.........my mother is in terrible condition......eyes, heart and arthritis. She is always constipated and wants milk of mag all the time. I feel like I'm trapped......no time to do anything myself. When a parent gets old....it's terrible......life is terrible.
On getting a job, you have one, as do I. I was fortunate to have one sibling help on alternating weekends for the first five months of this. Then weekends while trying to work her job became too much for her. Yet she expects me to get a job when I am here seven days, twenty-four hours, with about 30 hours with mom in a day program. That still leaves 138 hours each week. How many would do this? Just overtime over the course of a year, with 30 hours of other help, is 7,176 hours a year, 5,000 hours would be overtime. At time and a half at a $12.00/hour rate, is more than $91,000.00 dollars in one year. To say nothing of no benefits for two weeks paid vacation, health and disability insurance provided by many jobs.
If we don't take care of the parent, and they have the option of hiring help to keep them living independently....is that such a bad thing? If they have money to live in assisted living is that such a bad thing? It's not like we can't be involved to make sure they are getting quality care. Or is it that the idea of strangers caring for our loved ones in and of itself is deep down offensive, a betrayal...of family values, family expectations, societal expectations, expectations of ourselves?
Most of the elderly people I've met in this area live in senior assisted living communities. The communities are apparently very good, because the people say they enjoy living there. They are expensive, but if a senior can afford to live in one, it is a much better option than having one of the children quit their job and move in. Just my opinion.
im slant drilling your gas, better be looking for employment soon..
You deserve it.
The issue with siblings makes me so sad. I can't understand how all siblings can't participate in the care of their parents. My sister flew in when dad had a heart attack then 7 years later flew in again for his funeral. She said she couldn't handle seeing him like that. WTH, and I could? She wasn't interested in helping ME with our mom and told me so. Her "helping" mom was a bi-weekly phone call for one hour and 95% of the call was about herself. But mom ate it up because she was the golden child. Infrequently she sent mom money so she could take the paid caregiver to lunch but not one penny for me or my kids. I got it, it was all about her dislike for me. We no longer communicate. We're in a legal mess over mom's estate and we have to pay lawyers because she won't speak to me and now won't speak to even her lawyer. I no longer have a family. It is heartbreaking. I cringe when I think about elderly sick parents and their wills/assets. This combo brings out pure evil in way too many people.