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Mom will not drink water, juice or any other fluid. Instead she only drinks coffee, lots and lots of it. We make it super weak, so it's really just like coffee flavored water.


If I bring Mom to the dinner table in the evening she demands a Gin and Tonic. We tried to water it down but she knows the difference. We even tried cheap Gin, but she recognizes the difference. Heck, despite her dementia she still remembers what Bombay Gin tastes like.


Finally, she's got these shoes with 4 inch wedges. Super dangerous! We've tried everything but she will not take them off despite our best efforts...even in bed. I used to joke that she was going to wear those shoes to death, but at this point?


Without a doubt, all these quirks are bad for her, but I've learned life is better for both of us if I don't try and stop them.

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Mama Char - my dad is nicknamed "Helpy Helperton". Even if you are just carrying a tissue to the trash...gah!
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My mom needs to be surrounded by all her things. Basically, she's a hoarder and everything has the exact same value to her. I broke a $1 'toy' her BFF bought her and she was so mad. I told her I would replace it, but I didn't try very hard.

I BEG the family to not send or give her 'things' anymore. Just cards and money or GCs for Christmas, etc. One SIL will ALWAYS find some little item for her place and since SIL doesn't clean or dust mom's place she doesn't get how annoying it is to find that there is now ANOTHER African Violet or cutesy saying on a plaque.
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I need a good laugh today. I will definitely be sending her over the rainbow bridge with those shoes. I think those are the only things that make her happy.
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Hello Daughter,
When my brother died he was buried with his Irish hat he wore a lot. Understand completely about the baseball cap.
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I hope one day when your mom is gone, you’ll choose to bury her in those shoes! My dad wore a baseball cap most every day, one from his favorite football team. He was buried in it, despite a dirty look from the funeral home receptionist when I dropped it off along with a suit. Wishing you peace in the journey
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Mom hides her hearing aids from the memory care staff, then claims they stole them. Over. And over. And over.
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What is it with wearing shoes to bed??? My mother truly believes she cannot walk without her 4 inch wedge shoes. I shopped around for replacements and can’t find any new ones. I did find a used pair on ebay though. I bough another nice pair for her the other day with lower wedges, but no she wouldn’t even try them on.
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My mother also constantly asks if she can help with anything. If I don't have small tasks for her, I'll ask her to compliment me on my cooking skills or how "gorgeous and graceful" I am and she'll laugh and oblige for a moment until she asks what she can do again. Jumping jacks. Sing a song with your mouth closed. Keeps me entertained while I take care of the big stuff, ha.
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MC,
My mother will tell me she is going to cook a nice meal for us at times and I know she means it. She was a great cook. I think it is sweet your mother offers to help you. I think she means well.
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My 90 year old mother has vascular dementia. Her major 'quirk' is repeatedly asking "Is there anything I can do to help?"

She barely manages to walk using a walker. She can't lift her arms over her head. She can't stand for long periods of time. ie, there's not much she can do and absolutely nothing she needs to do. But this question is a CONSTANT.

Every now and then, when I need a smile or chuckle, I will answer with a suggestion like "Well, you can come and set the table." to which she will produce a heavy sigh, sit further back in her chair, and reply, "Do I have to?" Obviously, she just likes to be told she has nothing to do!

Blessed Be the caregivers. May our patience and senses of humor never run dry!
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My mother at times has a thing about her shoes and purse. She insists on wearing them in bed. I used to argue with her and tell her no but she would put up such a fuss. Now I let her wear them and I sneek in the middle of the night and take them off same way as her purse. She thinks someone will take them and she will not have shoes to wear the next morning. The purse has a buckle and I am afraid she wil hurt herself but now I let her take it to bed and take it later.
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