Anyone else dread it? When I actually have something to say it's fine, I'm happy to call her & tell her whatever. At best, it's a bit frustrating because she has a hard time following complex subjects and remembering details from one day to another so conversation subjects are limited. Or, she catches wind that there's a story I can tell her and she wants me to talk; to tell her, to relieve her boredom and loneliness. I want to deliver and be kind, so I have to figure out what parts she doesn't remember and artfully tell or retell it. It takes a lot of brain power.
I have to feel it out each time. I feel guilty with just about every call because I think, one day I'm going to want to call & she won't be on this earth anymore. But to sit there, after a long day of work, other people I have to direct for work, household things I am charge of and just a busy life, I'm tired. Sometimes, I have nothing to contribute. On those, "I've got nothing days" all I want to say is, "Are you ok? Ok great, we're fine too. Maybe we will talk tomorrow," and hang up. I want to, but don't and I get so agitated. Occasionally I do keep it real short and tell her I have a headache or whatever and I've had a long day; but if I do it too much she tells me I work too much and that I am too busy and to me that just sounds like criticism. So I force myself to try and make conversation & it's excruciating.
Usually after I hang up I'm relieved because, I did it! it's done for today! She says she very much appreciates that I check in and can call every day. Not shopping for tips or advice, just looking for commadere and needed to vent, thank you for reading.
Of course I admit it, I am not a gabby phone person so I am sure that has something to do with it.
I would change to calling every other day, give yourself a break!