My brother has said he is done with my mom because of my daddy’s will.

My mom will not even go there it’s that mindset that it’s the family farm it’s been in the family for 200 years she can get a new renter after he leaves and probably make money it’s just the emotions of all of this she said she is writing her own obituary and he will not be in it

Sounds like there is no one who really wants to undertake the work and risk of farming left - there is no reason why brother should keep on farming if he is not going to get much out of it and doesn't really want to do it. Have you considered selling the farm?

Sorry Bob is my father in law and has brain damage he is actually on a waitlist for assisted living with Medicaid there is no inheritance as for my brother he is not helping care for my mom and hasn’t even in 2015 when she was dealing with another ulcer he also told her this is the last year he will be farming he did say he will find her the highest bidder since my dad’s will was sent to probate a few months ago so we could clear the title for refinancing of the farm so my brother got 30,000 I guess for tile or something and she got 20,000 to get the bathroom functional and also the plumbing in the kitchen He pays cash rent to her to farm the land. My mom and Dad owned the land jointly and it’s all my moms the day after she was medflight he told me all of this and how he can’t do it anymore it’s all on me but my husband and I are willing to try to keep the farm in the family and take care of her but he kept saying this is real and then he said that he showed the will to a lawyer and that’s it this terrifies me My mom is so hurt she said she saw this man down the way as she was being loaded into the helicopter and his face looked like he was wishing her to die when i read part of the will to a lawyer he said there is no trust because she didn’t die before him and he gave her everything she is the owner and her will is going to be it so at this time he is farming until the end of the season and he put in for a transfer with work and he is selling everything this is not what my mom wants she knows how hard he has worked and he deserves it yet he thinks she is out to destroy him he can leave and we move into her house when she passes he still has 270 acres and we will keep trying to make it work and he can get what he deserves and that’s what my husband and I would do for him so he can rent it out or sell it my brother deserves it I have been living my life with my husband even though that topic came up because it states if something happens to me it goes to my husband and then my nieces but if something happens to him it goes to his kids he attacked me about where has your husband fot the last 30 years and he doesn’t know him that’s not on us he was working as a deputy sheriff he is so resentful that I left he could have too he said it’s all up to me even though I know you physically are not in a place to do it and he said he loved me and then the next day he blocked my phone number my mom is sending him a certified letter asking when she will be paid the money she was supposed to get in March she needs it to pay taxes and farm insurance and she has other things she is going to address it may come down to lawyers taking to lawyers we just want to make sure she is okay and she has everything she needs we are not doing this for anything we are doing it because it’s the right thing to do and we want to we have even said in the past sell it and go enjoy life in Vegas or travel we just don’t know what is going on except my sister in law comes down asking my husband when he is going to be done with this wagon she hasn’t used it in years my husband said he will put it back she gave that to my mom and now they took the weedwaker that was a gift to my dad I am so worried about her. But he can come back and collect off the land and he should that’s the kind of people we are we don’t expect anything it should go to her care sorry off on a tangent if I didn’t answer the questions please let me know

See Staffbull's other post at:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/What-Is-an-irrevocable-trust-439536.htm?orderBy=recent&page=1#comment871675

I'm hoping for some clarification so we can answer his/her questions.

First, could you clarify a few things? Your profile states that you're caring for your mother, Marylou, who's 77, and for Bob, who's 80. Is Bob your father? But your father died in 2016?

Second, your question addresses your brother's apparent decision to terminate relations with your mother. Then your following explanation addresses inheritance issues.

Are you concerned about both, i.e., are you posting to get advice on what to do with your brother now that he's apparently indicated he won't have any future contact with your mother? Is he helping you care for her?

Or are the inheritance issues more or as much of a concern as Bob's apparent reluctant to continue involvement?

I ask b/c they're different questions, different answers, and b/c if your father passed about 2.5 years ago, the terms of any will or trust would be in effect by now, so they're not new issues but ones which are already in place. Are you then asking advice on how to address the bequests, as apparently they're contested?

Beyond that, I have just one question before awaiting your response. Was a Living Trust created before your father died, is it in place and active now, and are the terms of that disputed between your brother and you?

But since your father has died before your mother, there is no active Living Trust? Your father apparently was the only person who created the Trust? So now it's an issue of interpretation of your father's bequests?

It's often very difficult to "interpret" what a poster is asking before a lot of basic issues are clarified, so this will help us respond to your concerns.