My mom's oncologist is unreal! I would think that he would be a little more compassionate regarding my mom's terminal lung cancer, but he is so uncaring and cold when talking to me about her. He describes treatment for my mom as "ridiculous and laughable"! I am so upset with him!! How dare he describe my mom and any hope for her in such a mannor!! This is unbelievable! I'm not through with him yeT!! Does anyone have any ideas? Is there somplace I can report him, and is this a matter to report?
It would seem at this point there are no viable treatments for your mother. (Is that your understanding?) If that is the case it is probably less important the she have an oncologist with the best medical skills and more important that she have one with good person skills. Is Mom on Hospice? Then she would be dealing with a hospice doctor, presumably in the role because of great skills with dying patients.
My father was in the hospital for minor elective surgery, but he wasn't recovering as expected. An oncologist came in and talked to the family. He said he read the tests, Dad had lung cancer in a position that could not be operated or radiated and that he would probaby last only 3 to 5 days. Holy cow! No one had any idea before this than cancer was a possibility. One of my brothers was livid. How dare that doctor we've never seen before and did not ask for come in here like he knows everything and give us such a hideous prognosis? And be so matter-of-fact, like this is run-of-the-mill news!? That brother wanted to sue or report the doctor or something. A nurse quietly and sympathetically told us that that doctor often seems very abrupt, but he is almost always right in his diagnosis. And, in fact, our father died within 3 days.
Again, I am extremely sorry that you were treated this way. Keep in mind that the truth of the doctor's message doesn't depend on whether he delivers it well or poorly. I don't mean to excuse him; it is simply a fact that not all doctors are good people persons.