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I agree with Barb. Not putting up with someone else's demeaning behavior is not "poking the bear" It's showing respect for yourself and signalling to the other party that you are not a door mat.

I used to be a door mat so I know of what I speak. If what you did is poking the bear then I probably have a whole den of bears looking for me.
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Liz, it IS scary to set boundaries with elders.

I think it brings up childhood fears of punishment, abandonment and "who do you think you are?" At least it does for me in situations where I first say "no, I can't do that".

Good job!!
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I’m sure you’re right, but it sure felt like it while I was doing it, LOL!
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Liz, to be honest, I don't think this is "poking the bear".

It is setting a boundary.

It is saying "my kids come first".

It is saying "MY mental health and needs come first".

Keep up the good work!
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