Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
my Mom just passed away after me living with her for 5 years as a non medical live in caregiver. I never asked Mom for a dime. and now that she is gone, the inheritance comes to around $150,000.00 to be split 4 ways. nobody wants to give me a PENNY for my 5 years, much less a dime. perish the thought. I have an appointment with an attorney next wednesday. we'll SEE how much they are gonna pay me, now that all the brotherly love and acts of kindness are shown in their true light, as in non existent. I'm gonna suggest 300 grand to my lawyer. I will write back and keep y'all abreast of theis dysfunctional family and it's sordid shenanigans
The sad thing is that we become as addicted to playing our role(s) as other family members become addicted to us playing that role(s). Thus, when we stop playing our "role" the family dysfunctional balance is thrown off and people become angry at the person who now has some boundaries in their life.
Emjo, Thank you also, I'm right now trying to go w/gut instincts, because you know when we can get past some of the b.s., then we can honor our own truth!
Margeaux
I know from what my husband told me, that my FIL was abusive to his wife ( who has been deceased for 35 years ), and never emotionally there for his children.
Since my husband and I have moved in, we have had to deal with a sister who is a drug addict, who we had to evict and serve a no contact order and another one who moved in that is mentally ill.
I sit back and watch the dynamics of a dysfunctional family at work. There is drug addiction and alcoholism. There is dishonesty, denial and shame. No one is happy.
I do not like my father-in-law and I can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Everything is a battle; from getting him to change his urine stained clothes, to washing his hands. Anything I suggest, to enable him to feel better, he argues against. So, here I am, watching a sick, old man drink himself to death and adult children that are unhappy.
Since I am on the "How are you doing" thread...I'd like to take a few minutes to ask anyone who reads this to pray for a dear friend of mine. She is another super human being who needs all the support she can get! (she has Leukemia) I had a long visit with her yesterday, and found out that even in her situation, most of her (large) family is "ignoring" her! Why is it that friends seem to be there more than family? I couldn't imagine not helping out! I had a close aunt that passed away 5 years ago, from cancer, and I was always there for her...unconditionally. I don't know why she didn't tell me about this sooner...maybe she is ashamed of all of them. I just thought, once again, how dysfunctional ALL families are!...But, that's another topic!
I am glad to see more people finding this thread and that continues to grow.
Prayers and hugs to all and to all good night.
Let us know how your doctor's visit goes. Amazing that you found him. Don;t know about the pets, I was allergic to cats and some dogs and don't seem to ber now. They are such good companions. At my age, I am finally getting to know horses and can call myself a wrangler. Sig other breeds them. Never too late!
Marge, I know you feel you are on the right track and I agree. There is no need to subject yourself to abuse from anyone. I agree with Ucant!