Yep, I told her the other night on the phone. I have had it !!!!!! Between a full time job, travelling to attend to all there needs and trying to keep up, I just snapped.
Today after getting home from work at 1 a.m. I'm back on the road to the hospital again for my dad with his income tax papers. Her groceries, prescriptions and god knows what else. I'm just exhausted and I have a VERY short fuse today. I want her to go to sleep and not wake up or me not to wake up. I taking St. John's Wart like tic tacs to stay calm. She never learned to drive. She has no idea what traffic is like. Especially city traffic. I want to check myself into the local hospital in the psych ward. My parents are KILLING ME !!!!!!!
Somebody just shoot me... Please !!!
Anksana
STUFF IT!
and watch lady, i got my eye on you. i will not let you harm anyone.
Check out Board & Cares vs. facilities if it seems appropriate there may be one that would take both of your parents (maybe move Mom there with the excuse that it is temporary in order to get Dad better).
The ladies are correct.....enough is enough! Find your folks a very nice NH or Assisted Living facility. Thoughtful parents wouldn't be letting you run yourself ragged. There they sit all day waiting for you to come to their rescue. Since your Dad is in the hospital now, perhaps it is time to speak to the doctor about having your him go to a facility instead of home. Especially since there is no one capable of taking care of his medical needs.
You must take a step back from this situation and see what it is doing to your mental health. Hey, I know you know.....so spring into action and make those calls. Stop the madness and reclaim your life. BTW.....who will be taking care of you in the future? Did you parents run themselves crazy caring for their parents? When was the last time your parents asked how you were doing, and really meant it? Keep us posted on what you have decided to do. Hugs sweetie.
Ok, mom has been gone over two years and where's that hole in the chest I'm supposed to be feeling? The only "hole" I'm seeing is my bank account paying for the lawyer I had to hire to get me out of the legal mess she left me in.
Yes, 22 years!! I have blown up many times over the years. Trying to do "Mission Impossible". They don't have Alzheimer's or Dementia. Well possibly my mother does now, but she is still pretty with it for almost 95 years old and my dad is quiet mentally sound to. Except when they give him pain killer meds in the hospital. They are both on the list for a care home now. My dad will going to the first available bed in a facility near where they live now. It may take a couple of months to get placement for mom. They will be in the same facility. She still thinks he's coming home, but he's not. They need way more care than home support can provide. When they are finally placed there home will be cleaned out and sold. Half of the money goes into her account and the other half into his. The only big hitch here, is that if they refuse to go to placement I'm going to be in deeper than I had ever thought possible. If they refuse other arrangements have to be made. It's a one shot deal. No second guessing. My mother should have gone into extended care 15 years ago. She would have been better off for it. We all would have been. I have seen adds for seniors being better off at home. They are, but when it destroys those who must perform all the duties, they are not.
Thanks,
Anksana
The last time about 4 days ago I went down after a late shift and almost went through a red light because I don't have the concentration needed. In heavy city traffic... Not a good idea.
In regards to the religious posts. I did not come from a Christian background and a blessed environment. Good for those who have. Tonight I work another 1 a.m. shift and I'm NOT going into the city tomorrow. My home is a mess and I want to start getting things organized for my garden. You'll love this. A while ago when my dad was still at home he didn't want a senior shopping service because " You have to pay them and they wouldn't pick out the tomatoes that he would like". Thanks for listening. I'll give you guys an update in a couple of days.
Thanks, Anksana
Shilaflores... Hugs to you....
My mom just told me to calm down after I told her I hated my life. I told her that I am only ONE person and she needs an army to care for ALL her needs. I had to end the phone call. I just couldn't take any more.
Just to think about all they did for us as children , waking in the middle of night to see that we were fine, caring for us when we were sick, taking us to school, cleaning and changing , showering us !!! Providing food , clothing. Etc!!!! I guess what I'm trying to say is that we fall very short in comparison to everything they did for us .
I lost my adorable grandmother and miss her so much .
Every Mothers Day I wish I could say : Hi grandmother.
Every Christmass I wish I could say. : Merry Christmas
When my Bday comes, I don't hear her voice anymore.
It's easy to complain , it's hard when they live us .
There is this BIG HOLE in our chest , when we lose a loved one !!!!
Cherish your parents and be thankful to God that you are able to provide for them .
The Lord will bless you with an abundant Everlasting life :)
May God bless us all and gives us peace to love our parents as they deserve the best care .
I would think that your mother could get her groceries delivered and her meds mailed to her. What would your parents do if you didn't exist? I have said it over and over that taking care of someone often times kills the care taker. It is what happened in my family - and Mother survived. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
Thank you for caring and caring enough to answer my desperate notes. It means a lot me.
Luv and Hugs,
Anksana-Moon
NancyH is right. They need more help than you alone can provide. Greekgal60 is right, regular time off for the caregiver is essential.
See to your own needs by having some of your parents needs met by others.