My mom's condo is ruined by a chihuahua that pees and poops ALL over the place and she refuses to let my sister "adopt" it. If we could get the dog out of there we could rip out the carpets and fumigate. On top of that, she continues to order junk from Publisher's Clearinghouse and has piles of junk mail & catalogs everywhere. HELP!!!!!!
Impaired obility: overweight with arthritis in her knees,uses walker & cane, 84 years old, she needs us to do her grocery shopping, heavy lifting, take out trash, still is able to drive, helps to care for boyfriend who has Alzheimers(he lives in assisted living), looks to me as most bills paid on time and only issues are when the "good" mail gets lost in the junk mail, hoarding issues getting progressively worse since about 2004, obviously as she gets older normal activities are getting harder for her to do-common line is "it's too much trouble, I can't be bothered"
Her dog is 12 years old, no health issues except for living in house saturated in pee and poop, was not potty trained to begin with-supposed to go on doggie pads, my sister rescues dogs & trains them and is more than capable to care for him
Dilemma is my mom's state of mind is still there, so would not be easy to just go in and take over. No, I don't want her living like this but at this point it is her choice. I am trying to "convince" her to get things cleaned up, if I push too hard she will totally resist anything I say.
On the junk mail/catalog issue my Mom had requests from endless charities. I would take a pile of them with me after each visit. I called or wrote and asked to be removed from their mailing list AND removed from the list they sell. It didn't work 100% but it sure as heck got reduced. It can seem useless, but organizing your Mom's house will give her a better chance of living w/o confusion. Keep in mind, the roles are now reversed. Would you let your child live like she is living??
These are all signs of your Mom's state of mind and may be a warning sign that she may not be able to live w/o help much longer. Before we moved her to AL, my MIL was living with 'science experiments' in her frig, urine and blood soaked undergarments on the floor of her closet, borrowed books near the 100 mark, etc. As the (dreaded) in-law, there were limits to my ability to help out. BUT I filled the car several times with things that she (begrudgingly) agreed she had no use for. By the time she was ready to be moved, the quantity of garbage that was thrown out, was shocking even to those of us that knew she had a problem. If things had be addressed earlier on, she would have been living a more healthy existence. Good luck.
How old is the dog? Does the dog have any medical problems? Why isn't the dog trained? (If your sister took this dog, how would she deal with the issues?)
Is Mother's hoarding behavior fairly new? Can she afford the things she buys? Is she otherwise competent with her finances? Can she balance her checkbook? Are her bills paid on time? Does she pay the same bills multiple times?
Does someone have Power of Attorney for her?
Lots of questions ... but I think answers will help us give you more specific ideas.