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Please help me before I kill myself. We have moved mom 3 times and the care is still poor. They talk a good game to get you, but do not deliver. I am the only sibling willing and want to take care of my mother because of the lack of care in the nursing homes. I work and will need help since I can not count on my siblings. My mother only has medicare and medicaid. I pray for guidance as to what I can do. I rather die than see my mother treated the way she is.

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I agree with Pam. What do you mean when you say poor care? I'd be curious to know if it's your mom's perceptions of her care or your direct observation of it.
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The trick is to stop moving her and to oversee the care where she is. You make the Head Nurse your best friend and you stay in constant communication. You review her care weekly, her med sheet, you check for pressure sores. You DIRECT her care, in a positive way. You thank them for anything they get right. You gently correct their mistakes. .
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Go to the DON and facility administrator and inform them( Send this in writing also) that you are reporting them to the Joint Commission on accreditation if your mother's care is not improved immediately, ie, within 24 hours. And add that your mother fears for her safety. TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR MOM'S BACKSIDE TO INCLUDE IN YOUR REPORT TO JOINT COMMISSiON.
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luv2give, all these places run on MD written orders. So have the MD write a weekly shampoo order and a daily skin check order and reposition Q2h order. In writing. On an Rx form. Then track it... like a bloodhound.
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Her butt looks like a railroad track due to leaving her wet. She has open areas of course from being left wet so long. My mother is not ambulating any longer, incontinent, and has dementia, but still knows family, thank God. I have asked about combing her hair and still go back and it is not combed. I have spoken to the DON and Head Nurse. They will look into it, but no changes. They were giving her two medications which caused GI Bleed and sent to ER which caused a week hospital stay. I was told by Ombudsman to try and talk to DON which I did at the last place and it did not help. My mother requires a lift to get in and out of bed which I think is why they leave her in bed. I have documented every visit and every conversation. My mom cries now due to her bottom hurting. She says they are doing their best and to not say anything because she is afraid they will take it out on her.
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Some states have a program that works with Medicaid that helps you pay for a caregiver for your mother or parent or any disabled person that you care for. It can even be you or a family member. There's another program, which might also work with Medicaid but I'm not sure, called PACE. This program only seems to be available in certain areas. It to helps with keeping your elderly or disabled Family member at home.
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I just want to say thank you very much to all your responses. I have pictures of her bottom and will follow thru and speak with Head Nurse, DON and administrator this week. I will look into all that was mentioned above.
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