Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom is going on 95. She has ongoing dementia. She will always eat a good breakfast and lunch. When it comes to dinner alot of times she says she is not hungry and doesn’t want to eat. Do I let it go or do what I have to to get her to eat?
Let it go. Offer food. But never force. If she is having problems with utensils finger foods are great. Watch for "pocketing" of food. You may have to mince or puree foods. Start with her larger most calorie dense meal in the morning. And...give her what she wants. If she will eat a bowl of ice cream for "dinner" let her have ice cream.
Oh..if and or when she stops eating and drinking PLEASE do not have a feeding tube placed. They can cause more problems than they solve and can lead to pain or discomfort. If her body can not process the food it can cause blockages or if it causes her to vomit that can lead to aspiration pneumonia.
Hi Grandma 1954.! My 96 year old mother with dementia…now in SNF since April…started having days where she refuses meds, drink & food…yesterday was first time she wouldn’t eat anything from what I brought from home….even her favorite chocolate ice cream…today I came to feed her & she ate/drank everything…I know from experience with her being home with me for so many years…if she doesn’t take the Seroquel, then she won’t eat or drink. My mother lost 7 pounds from last month…now 103lbs & she’s about 4 ft 11 inches…last November she was 114 lbs. The facility has her on purée & I requested kosher… sometimes if she refuses it, I take it home, reheat it & bring it back in a microwave container. I hate for it to go to waste.
She's eating a "good breakfast and lunch" so who cares if she doesn't want to eat dinner? At 94 she's earned the right to eat when she wants and if she wants. Please don't waste your time worrying about such a non-issue when I'm sure you have many more important things to be concerned about. She'll be just fine if she doesn't eat any dinner.
People typically eat MUCH less when they are older. I am 81. I eat usually one meal a day at about 3 p.m. I would not worry about this. She is 94. Eventually your mother will come to the end of wanting food, even of being able to swallow, as when one lives long and long and longer changes occur.
I think it is unfair to bother elders about what and how often and when they are eating. It is much like the bullying that happens often enough to little children that makes food a trial rather than a joy and often has lifelong repercussions for them. My advice with your Mom is to allow her to eat what she likes, how often and whatever amounts she likes.
Agree. I also eat one meal/day (have for years) but quantity is less now. I eat dinner which consists of a green salad with some chicken or fish added, a roll and a few bites of something sweet for dessert. I lost 80 lbs. a l-o-o-ng time ago in my 20s and vowed to keep it off, which I have, so my eating pattern has become pretty habitual. I wouldn't appreciate being coerced to eat differently at this point but, of course, who knows what potentially unwelcome changes may come my way?
To naysayers: yeah, I know, it may not be right for many, but it's worked for me. I do have a snack during the day sometimes. Since I'm still here at 86, which I didn't expect to be for sure, I must have done something right.
Let it go. She may eventually refuse all food and you will have to let that go too as it may mean her body is slowly shutting down.
She is nearly 95. This is not the same as getting a child to finish their food if they want a treat afterwards. Please take her age into consideration and allow her some autonomy in her life.
My mother is 96 and does the same. Sometimes she doesn’t even want her favorite- vanilla ice cream. And. Sometimes she only wants ice cream. At their age give them what they want. I would not sweat it. Just find a way to give something small if she has to take meds.
Husbands 99 year old grandmother would often have ice cream for dinner when she was still at home. She did this for several years and it didn’t seem to cause her any problems. Now in AL she eats their dinner.
If you are worried about mom's caloric intake--I can tell you that elderly, very immobile people can live for a very long time on what it basically starvation diet. My MIL has been eating around 300-400 calories a day for 9 months. She's still here and actually, doing pretty well. The Hospice nurses all told us that she couldn't subsist in so little, but truth is, we fully expect her to live another year.
Leave her alone. Not worth one second of a 'battle'. Forcing her to eat could make the situation worse. She's fine. Just make sure she's hydrated, that's more important than eating anyway.
As long as she is eating one meal a day I think it’s okay . My parents who are 95 barely eat but haven’t lost any weight to speak of. . My mother will have eggs and toast for breakfast. That’s her big meal for the day.
they both really like ice cream these days. My mother also likes small snacks during the during the day. She eats a lot of nuts which are high in calories. My father likes pastina soup and that’s about it aside from the ice cream. He just does not want to eat any more. It has been months now that he’s eating like this but he is none the worse for it.
It’s more important that they keep hydrated. Getting my mother to drink enough water is more of a concern to me.
My personal opinion is to not worry about it. She’s eating two good meals a day and at 94 that’s great. I’m 70 and on hospice for liver, parateniel and kidney cancer and who knows what else lol. I barely eat and mostly have to force calories in when I can tolerate them. And I’m getting along. With dementia you’ve plenty on your shoulders and my heart goes out to you. 💖
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Offer food. But never force.
If she is having problems with utensils finger foods are great.
Watch for "pocketing" of food.
You may have to mince or puree foods.
Start with her larger most calorie dense meal in the morning.
And...give her what she wants. If she will eat a bowl of ice cream for "dinner" let her have ice cream.
Oh..if and or when she stops eating and drinking PLEASE do not have a feeding tube placed. They can cause more problems than they solve and can lead to pain or discomfort. If her body can not process the food it can cause blockages or if it causes her to vomit that can lead to aspiration pneumonia.
Please don't waste your time worrying about such a non-issue when I'm sure you have many more important things to be concerned about. She'll be just fine if she doesn't eat any dinner.
I think it is unfair to bother elders about what and how often and when they are eating. It is much like the bullying that happens often enough to little children that makes food a trial rather than a joy and often has lifelong repercussions for them. My advice with your Mom is to allow her to eat what she likes, how often and whatever amounts she likes.
To naysayers: yeah, I know, it may not be right for many, but it's worked for me. I do have a snack during the day sometimes. Since I'm still here at 86, which I didn't expect to be for sure, I must have done something right.
She is nearly 95. This is not the same as getting a child to finish their food if they want a treat afterwards. Please take her age into consideration and allow her some autonomy in her life.
If you are worried about mom's caloric intake--I can tell you that elderly, very immobile people can live for a very long time on what it basically starvation diet. My MIL has been eating around 300-400 calories a day for 9 months. She's still here and actually, doing pretty well. The Hospice nurses all told us that she couldn't subsist in so little, but truth is, we fully expect her to live another year.
Leave her alone. Not worth one second of a 'battle'. Forcing her to eat could make the situation worse. She's fine. Just make sure she's hydrated, that's more important than eating anyway.
they both really like ice cream these days. My mother also likes small snacks during the during the day. She eats a lot of nuts which are high in calories. My father likes pastina soup and that’s about it aside from the ice cream. He just does not want to eat any more. It has been months now that he’s eating like this but he is none the worse for it.
It’s more important that they keep hydrated. Getting my mother to drink enough water is more of a concern to me.
See All Answers