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He enjoys sitting in pajamas, drinking tea and talking to people. I, his wife, am trying to get him to change clothes but he is against it. He also doesn't like to take showers, but I believe that is because he doesn't have the energy for that. He lost the interest in clothes he used to have. Any ideas?

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So long as the pjs are clean ….
For going out ….You could buy comfortable lounge pants in a solid black color and t shirts in a different color so they don’t look like pajamas . My friend’s husband wears this all the time as his clothes .
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Questor May 2023
Sounds a lot like my own wardrobe TBH
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He’s 96!

What difference does it make if he wishes to lounge around in his pajamas?

I would be grateful that he is comfortable.

I am quite sure that no one is bothered by him being in his pajamas. They may even wish that they could wear pajamas all day long too!
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You know, my brother LIVED in his, so I got him so really beautiful plaid flannel pants out of a catalog, think it was The Vermont Store but have seen them other places, and some soft t's, and he was kind of the best-looking guy at his ALF. Would that work at all. There are lots of jammy like clothes now, and they say that the younger work-from-home crowd is taking us to a "new casual" in clothing.

Sure wish you luck in finding a look you can both live with.
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Your husband is 96 years old and suffering from AD/dementia....if he enjoys sitting in his pajamas all day drinking tea and talking, I'd say leave him be to do so and pick your battles. And EVERYTHING can become a battle when this disease is at play. It sounds like DH is pretty good natured in general which is a blessing!

Elders with AD/dementia hate showers in general, normally bc there is something they're afraid of or bothered by in the shower stall. Falling, the force of the water or the feel of it on their face, being cold, etc. See if you can hone in on what DH is bothered by in the shower and then remedy it for him. Or hire a male aide to shower him once a week and use pre moistened disposable washcloths by Stryker for in between wash ups. Those are the best ones in my opinion.

Best of luck to you navigating this tricky ground.
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Why are you wanting your husband to get out of his comfortable pj's to put on clothes? Are you taking him somewhere important, or are you just tired of seeing him in his pj's? I'm guessing that at 96 years of age you both probably don't go to too many places right? So I would just let him enjoy his final time here on earth in whatever he wants to wear.
My late husband ONLY wore pajama pants or sweatpants for the last 10 plus years of his life and as long he was comfortable and happy, so was I.
Like already said, when dealing with the disease of dementia, we must learn to pick our battles, and honestly this is just not one worth fighting.
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Martha007 Jun 2023
Exactly!! I agree 💯. Not worth getting aggravated 😞
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Loungewear? Looks more like day clothes but feels comfy like pjs.

A friend told me people from her home country start wearing loungewear at 60. I can certainly see the practicalities of elastic waistbands (for ease of toileting quicker) & zippered jackets (for dressing with arthritic shoulders).

I'd avoid the matching beige top & bottoms look myself 😄 but I have seen some older folks in nicer sportswear, track pants/jackets etc. Comfortable & practical. (Trackie dacks as we call them here).

Regarding energy, *energy conservation* becomes important.

Having a seat in the shower can help. Swapping showers with washups at the sink alternate days. Seated dressing can also save energy. Dressing all lower half, then one stand up to pull items up. Even a compromise of one set of clothes for 2 days then a full change? With a 'for company' smart dressing gown/nice cardigan/jacket over the top.
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I switched my mom to wearing jogging pants because they were warm, comfortable and could do double duty as day and night wear. If the problem is not ever changing at all them try to help him to change when he is toileted, the bottoms at least are half off then anyway.
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If you think he needs more formal look, buy him matching sweatpants and zip-up jacket to wear over a tee shirt. Or pajamas that don't look so much like pajamas. Let him have his comfort!

BUT - he must stay clean. You can hire people who specialize in giving showers, and they'll come to your home to do it.
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Tell your husband that you want to make him smell fresh and look handsome, and to do that, please let you help him to change his pj's. Remember to show him the new outfit. Also, ask him what he thinks.
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I’m confused. Is he outside talking to people or inside on the phone? How old is he actually and is he capable of going out? If he is going out, he should dress appropriately. IF he is capable of going out you can tell him how everyone will see how handsome he still is in this or that outfit. If he isn’t going out do you have visitors? Can you use the same technique of saying when so-and-so comes over s/he can see how handsome he still is in a spiffy outfit after shaving. Also be frank and say he has to shower so people won’t think he smells. Most me, no matter their age respond to flattery. If he has no other socialization besides you, you can do what a friend did and sleep in another bed.
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