My mother is 70 and suddenly she has become extremely needy. I have also noticed she had become a pathological liar. She also is the victim of every circumstance she creates. Anyone else parents narcissism started to get worse with age? I have been setting boundaries and I actually have stopped visiting her to protect my mental health. My siblings have all done the same.
We did have good times, and I grew , learned a lot about caregiving, and patience.
But I wish I new more about setting boundaries, dementia ECT. So if you do decide to not cut her off be smarter than me , don't have high expectations that she will see the light and be nice, do set boundaries, and learn a lot about dementia.
But do what's best for you!!
I’m urging you to do what’s right to save your health and your sanity from being ruined by your narcissistic mother. Put your mother in a nursing home and just move on and enjoy YOUR life.
I'm wondering if she cannot cope.
Is no linger really completely independant?
Would you like to give examples?
"Liar"
Could this be not UNDERSTANDING what people said or did?
"She also is the victim.."
Being the victim can be a way of (indirectly) asking for help, of seeking a rescuer. Again, from someone not coping.
She could have had a new heath condition/event that has lessened her coping skills.
None of this is easy, I know. I had a very difficult mother myself who only became more difficult with dementia, which is typical of how a broken mind operates. It's no longer cooperative at all, but defiant, argumentative and self centered. My mother said SUCH horrible things to me as her mind deteriorated, it was awful. But I kept her safe and well cared for in Memory Care Assisted Living w/o doing the hands on care myself.
Pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how to deal with mother and cope with her behaviors.
Once you understand more about the mechanisms of dementia, you'll stop taking things as personally and be able to focus on getting her help instead. That is my hope for you and your siblings.
Best of luck to you.
So instead of avoiding your mother perhaps it's time that you and your siblings all better educate yourselves about the horrific disease of dementia, so you will all be better prepared for what lies ahead for your mother.
Someone with a broken brain can no longer be responsible for what they say or how they act, as it is now the disease talking.
And it's so important that we meet people where they're at in the disease, not where we'd like them to be.
If they were always rude and mean. Then why would anyone expect them to suddenly change their behavior?
Unless dementia is involved, then behavior changes will occur in any personality.
Wishing you all the best.
It can be so disorienting! We must readjust often to their change in temperament with a discerning eye for new problems developing for them.
Also after her hip, her logic kind of went away. Trying to explain to her that my dad shouldn't be driving, was a complete lost cause, even though my father agreed , she didn't and pushed him to drive.
UTI's can cause all types of unusual behaviors in older people.