Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Even if the POA was signed with full understanding and consent of your mom, it is doubtful it permits him to change the accounts so they pass to him. There is the legal concept of "fiduciary duty" of the agent under a Power of Attorney, as well as state laws that prohibit the agent from using the power to benefit themselves. I would definitely consult with an attorney with elder law experience to assist you in this matter.
As jpkoalabear mentions, the challenge is showing proof. While it may seem as plain as day to you and me that your brother's intent is malicious, nevertheless the fact that he has been legitimately been granted POA is a legal fact. The good thing is that POA can be changed, depending on the state that your mother is in. While this certainly appears to be elder financial abuse, until your mother states that he is acting against her wishes, it will be hard to actually establish this.
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
Begging you to be careful when throwing that accusation around, pamstegma, tina77 and any of the others of you ready to suggest accusing someone of elder financial abuse. It devastates and destroys lives if wrong. That said, in texastiedup's case, I would suggest they speak with an eldercare attorney. The question, not to offend, begs to know how much you were involved in your Mom's daily life, and how your brother was able to separate you from her enough to trick your Mom. Speak with the lawyer who changed the POA. Was this her regular lawyer or someone new your brother chose? If it was the regular family attorney, did the change seem strange to him/her? What reason did they give for the change? Please get ALL the information you can before moving forward. I wish you good luck, and peace for your Mom. Your relationship with your brother may be irretrievably broken, but that has to be okay, and you can deal with that, I'm sure. If it's about money, let him have it. What will it really benefit him in the end--ill gotten gains always end up paying for more harm than good. I told my Mom not to leave an inheritance, which made me wildly unpopular with my sibs. I spent 11 years taking care of Mom 24/7 only to be blindsided and falsely accused. It's taking a very long time to rebuild my life. I found myself homeless, jobless and broke at 61. I cared for my mother well, on my own. Now, under the care if my sibs, she is frail, unhappy and declining rapidly. I continue to fight for her as best I can, but with little or no resources, I don't know if I can save her in time. Again, good luck to you.
We require a ' PROTECTION OF THE INDIGENT ACT' TO PREVENT THIS TYPE OF IN FIGHTING AND GREEDY SIBLINGS. THIS IS A VERY COMMON FAMILY PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED IN EACH COUNTRY.
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
Don't know if this helps as I live in the UK and have had a very similar experience and it may or may not help you. My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .
Your brother can do nothing with the POA as long as your mother is mentally competent. In order to invoke the POA he has to prove she is no longer competent. If your mother is mentally competent and agreeable, simply take her to an attorney and have a new POA created, voiding the original one; if she is not mentally competent, then you have a harder road. You will need the doctor to declare she was mentally incompetent at the time the brother had the POA done and you will have to obtain an attorney and fight a legal battle. Good luck.
I am guardian for my disabled son and POA for my mother and I can tell you that the responsibilities are different. Although a guardian can also be responsible for handling. I have been told by several official sources that one person should not be both for one person - better checks and balances that way. My advice - start with the lawyer who drew up the POA. My mom made me POA and used her long time lawyer. When we went to him to draw everything up, after her desires were discussed the lawyer had me leave the room and talked with her without me present to ensure she wasn't being pressured by me. Was something like this done for your mom? Next I would talk to her doctor and determine if she is mentally competent and if not try to pinpoint a date of when dementia became a factor. Before or after the POA appointment. And while this may not apply to your case I'm gonna through this out there as well. I was made POA three years ago and at the same time my mom made a new will (again, I was asked to wait outside while the terms were decided upon and was only given the will - for safe keeping - after it was signed and notarized. My mom took a fall 2 months ago and for some reason it kicked off full blown dementia. Now my brother who was only minimally present prior is all of a sudden around all the time. He is helping some but I can't help but be suspicious - he's pulled some questionable things in the past. So while it took some time I waited for an opening when I could say - without accusations - " you know mom can no longer change her will or legal appointments any longer with her dementia diagnosis? A judge would rule for what her wishes were prior to her lossing it". I just felt better letting him know I wasn't gonna let him pull any funny business.
Elder care attorneys commonly advise for a single POA so that there won't be a conflict in decision making.
But I can understand if you were previously doing dual POA, why change it now?
As someone who was formerly accused of financial abuse, I do second the idea that we don't make, or advocate making, these accusations lightly. But also, if there is nothing to it, it's easily disproven. There's some resentment on my part about that but not necessarily because of the accusation but because my family didn't care enough to sort out what was happening with the finances. When a 3rd party (who was the real financial abuser, the home care agency) said that I was an abuser, family was temporarily influenced by the wrong party for a period of a few months -- but still, that's all it took for my grandmother's care to be taken out of my hands and she went from a healthy centenarian to deceased in 2 months.
I don't think most families are like my dysfunctional, disconnected, mistrusting family, but then again, these issues have a way of pushing buttons even in stable families.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .
But I can understand if you were previously doing dual POA, why change it now?
As someone who was formerly accused of financial abuse, I do second the idea that we don't make, or advocate making, these accusations lightly. But also, if there is nothing to it, it's easily disproven. There's some resentment on my part about that but not necessarily because of the accusation but because my family didn't care enough to sort out what was happening with the finances. When a 3rd party (who was the real financial abuser, the home care agency) said that I was an abuser, family was temporarily influenced by the wrong party for a period of a few months -- but still, that's all it took for my grandmother's care to be taken out of my hands and she went from a healthy centenarian to deceased in 2 months.
I don't think most families are like my dysfunctional, disconnected, mistrusting family, but then again, these issues have a way of pushing buttons even in stable families.
See All Answers