Hi. Im new to this site. Been doing alot of research and I have questions. Here is my story. My mom who is 71 had a stroke in August 2016. She was in the hospital for 3 days. They told me she would have to go a nursing facility. She went to a nursing home August 22 for therapy Being her only child and POA I had to find her paperwork for her to apply for Medicaid. Thinking it was only going to short term I tried cleaning up her house. While in the nursing home she had congestive heart failure however they were quick in helping her.
It is now January and even though she is alert and walking and talking she still needs care. She cant go back to the house because her water tank leaked and it costs to much to fix. Plus against my persistence she did a reverse mortgage in 2010 and all the money is gone. I dont know what to do. The nursing home says I have to notify her bills that she can no longer pay and she will be on Medicaid. I talked to the reverse mortgage and asked a general question how long do I have once I notify them that she can no longer live there. They said 120 days. I work full time and I am on a fixed income. Very hard to get out to her house in the winter. Once I notify them I have to scramble plus its hard to do anything once I notify her utilites bills and they shut off her gas and electric and garbage pick up. I rely on those things to clean up the house. The basement is jammed with boxes and I dont what to do about that.
So what should I do plus should I call or write to her bills she can no longer pay. Another question she has life insurance but I was told I would have to cash that out. How do I do that?? Currently I am receiving help from the dept of aging. My mom may qualify for home aide however its not 24/7 care. I told them she can no longer live in the house. She is on waiting lists that require months to a year. Also attemptex to apply for home weatherization however that's a 2-3 year period just to get an application. Im hitting constant roadblocks. My mom's only income is social security had 183.00 a month pension from my late father. So thats my story. Very sad now. Help.
if the water tank is leaking I assume the water is already turned off. Whoever takes over the house they will simply winterize it. So go ahead and tell the utility companies mom is in a nursing home on medicaid and can't pay any bills. They will probably just be written off. You are not responsible for your mothers debts unless the bills were in your name too so stop worrying about that. There is nothing the debtors can do to your Mom, she no longer has any control.
it sounds as though the nursing home is the best place for Mom so encourage her to stay. She had a major stroke and heart failure so other things are likely to go wrong with her health and you need to work to survive so are unable to provide care. It is a very sad situation and of course you wish it was different and you could take care of Mom but the fact is you can't so accept that and provide the love and support she needs at this time. People are often very depressed following a stroke so try not to add to this with the house problems.
So try and stop panicking in and let things fall as they may. The only things to worry about are your mental health and getting the best care you can for Mom.
Follow the advice you receive from the proper authorities and don't let anyone bully you into taking on responsibilities that are not yours.
The nursing home should have a social worker who can advise you about what has to be done or you can try legal aide if you can't afford a lawyer.
You will get through this and wonder why you worried so much when it is all over.
keep coming back here and let us know how you are doing. people here really do care.
The problems seem insurmountable when looked at as a whole, but if you take one step at a time on what needs to be done, it becomes more manageable. So if Medicaid is applied for, just get the house cleaned out. If the things are good enough, you could have an estate sale company come in to help. Sometimes you can find one that doesn't cost so much. (I remember a time when they only charged a percentage of the sale. Those days are gone now. I understand why, but it does make situations like dealing with estates harder.)
If you see things as needing to be done all at once, they will look overwhelming. Just take a step at a time.
I hope that some members from around her who live in PA will chime in. Weekends are usually slow, but, I'll try to keep your thread active and hopefully, you'll get more answers.
I would be careful with turning off the electricity, because then the pipes can freeze and you'll have a mess.
What type of care will your mom's doctor say she needs? Nursing home? Assisted living?