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Would it be in your best interest to hire an elder attorney before this gets too far? We can give opinions but APS can file in probate to appoint a guardian and conservator. It will cost far less to start early. The lawyer can also educate you on state rules on a POAs conduct
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Doesn't seem like your Mom has a PoA or legal guardian. Therefore, if someone is "managing" her money and assets and she is cognitively impaired, then whoever is doing could appear to be doing something illegal -- so hoping there is a very detailed paper trail with receipts, dates, proofs, etc.

Is your brother (the one who reported you) your Mom's PoA? If so, and the criteria for his PoA authority has been met, then he is acting in her best interests and you have no power, no matter how good care you're taking of her.

Is this a power struggle motivated by inheritance? Please provide more pertinent information, and also know that we are weighing the fact that we are only getting your side of the story.
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WeBugn Sep 2023
My mother made my brother and I both POA. Since she has not been found incompetent, POA has not kicked in. She has her good days and bad days. He has access to her records just like I do. I can only imagine that he is trying to knock me off as POA and take over but he is incapable himself. He will just give it to his secretary to handle until the money runs out. She is quite wealthy and has a lot of real estate. He wants to put her in a nursing home and she wants to be in her home with her dog. I am just trying to fulfill her wishes. Hope this makes more sense
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Yes, supposedly my brother and I were reported to APS. Misappropriation of funds, miscellaneous things that don't make sense but I'm quite sure I know who made the call. After they canceled her credit card (which screwed up all of her bills) because they wanted their CC of my mother's, I figured I would let them take on more of the role of responsibility, they got mad because they actually had to do something. I have been taking care of all her bills since 2019 when her and my dad came and asked me for help. She had gotten to the point where she just couldn't pay their bills anymore. Dad passed in 2021, 4 months after my son passed. I'm also raising my 5-year-old grandchild. She is a blessing and my mom and her absolutely adore one another. My daughter has been an absolute godsend for stepping up and helping take care of my mother. My brother said APS could seize Mom's assets and stick her in a nursing home if we did not get along. Well nobody gets along with him unless they are kissing his behind and I absolutely refuse. I am just too busy to kiss a**. My mother wants to remain in her home as long as possible and I would like to make sure her wishes are granted. She's worked long and hard all of her life and she deserves to have the care that she wants. There is a lot to keep up with has she has rental property. I have been handling all of that as well. They were bitching because they had to buy groceries. Anyway, since my question, we have found certified help to cover when my daughter needs a break. The APS lady did tell me that only family members were allowed to give medicine and no one else could unless they were certified. I have found this to be false and I'm not sure why this APS lady is such a bully. Social workers for my mother's insurance have said they smell a rat. Not sure if this lady is getting paid under the table or what but I know how my brother works and it is not always legit. One question I have for y'all too, the APS lady said that she told my brother to put cameras in my mother's home. My mother doesn't really understand what they are. Supposedly, my ex-sister-in-law, my brother and the APS lady have access to the cameras inside my mother's house. I think this is awful and an absolute intrusion of my mother's privacy. My family does not have access to these cameras. Yes, I have hired an attorney, basically just to fill in the questions I have for this situation. Thank you for all of your answers in advance. This is a tough job taking care of a parent/parents when a sibling is very uncooperative
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Grandma1954 8/5/23 12:00
I am going to take the question in your profile first.
You do not need to be certified to care for someone in your home.
If you hire privately you do not need to hire anyone that is certified.

I have to ask if there has been a report to APS that you are concerned about?
APS is not going to seize property or assets.
What APS will do is investigate a complaint.
If the complaint is founded then procedures will be put into place so that the person is safe. If that means removing the person from the house that is what will happen. The court will get involved and actions will be determined at that time.
If assets need to be liquidated in order to provide safe care that is what will have to happen. But APS, the office, itself will not seize assets or property.

If you want more information you can expand on this or post another question.
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Has there been a report filed with APS against you? When a report is filed, APS has to investigate. If they find Mom is safe, fed and cared for, they will close the case. As far as I know, APS does not have the ability to seize assets. They have the ability to report findings to a State agency that can then request guardianship which I am sure goes before a judge. The State can then take over. But its a process.

No your daughter does not need to be certified. Actually, either do the aides you hire. I know an aide with no certification who is a very good aide. It something she fell into and found out she enjoyed the work. Certification does not mean you get a good aide. Certification means they have had a 8 or 10 week course. Then they take a test and in my state, the Nursing Board certifies them if they pass.
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No, not if they are being cared for properly AND the parent is not being exploited for financial gain. If APS does an investigation however and determines that elder's money is being used improperly, they can remove elder and place him/her in a facility and seize his/her assets to pay for the care.
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newbiewife Aug 2023
Just to clarify, APS only investigates and makes recommendations if they find that guardianship is needed. APS itself has nothing to do with a person's assets. If the state appoints a guardian, that guardian is responsible for using the person's assets and income to pay for their care. Assets aren't "seized" though property might need to be sold to pay for care and all money would be managed by the guardian on behalf of their "ward."
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No, they're not the IRS. If your Mom applies for and qualifies to receive Medicaid, they (Medicaid) will put a lien on her house as part of repayment. If your Mom has many other assets, then it's doubtful she'd even qualify for Medicaid in the first place.

If for some reason your Mom became a ward of the county, then the court-appointed legal guardian would have control over all her assets but is accountable for how it is spent (and in my state they provided a ledger of all the expenditures to the family after our family member passed).

So, to avoid your Mom ever becoming a ward of the county she should create a PoA for herself. Or, if she is beyond being able to do that, her family has the option of pursuing guardianship through the courts, but this is an expensive process.
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