Mom is in early dementia with short term memory loss and is living in rehab for now. She has an older friend who helps out but is limited. I live out of town.
POA sounds intimidating and I cant afford an attorney. I have permission to use her debit card and I currently pay her bills. I set her up with autopay as much as possible.
My questions are: Do I need to be her POA? Are POAs financially responsible for bills and payments if funds are low? Can I continue to use her card to pay her bills even if it is in her name? Can I have her bills forwarded to my address? Can I contact places like her hospital to discuss billing information
Thank you
PoA doesn't need to be complicated... what will be complicated is if she advances in her dementia and has no legal representative. Then the courts will eventually assign her a legal guardian and you will be out of the loop and all decision-making on her behalf. It will take a while for social services to recommend her case to a judge, so you will need to stand by and watch a train wreck before she gets a guardian.
If you are willing to be her PoA she currently sounds like she is still legally able to assign a PoA -- trust me from experience that bar is really low. The funds to pay for the attorney should come from her assets, not yours.
Or, you and she may be able to get this done while she's in rehab... you can download PoA documents for her state via websites like Legalzoom.com or Rocketlawyer.com to name a few. This is only if there is no spouse or other sibling (yours or hers) to contest anything. I did this with my single Mom and me, an only child. Much less expensive.
Then you need to legally finalize it: usually needs to be notarized in front of 1 or 2 non-family witnesses. Most facilities have notaries on staff, so you can inquire about this.
Once this paperwork is finalized, then you will need to activate the authority per what was specified in the PoA document: usually 1 medical diagnosis of impairment. Or, it can be a Durable PoA which goes into effect immediately. It may vary by state.
Then make all her management online as much as possible: medical portal set, onlin banking, and establishing PoA with any of her investments, like annuities, etc. It will take time to do this little by little but you don't want to do any of it in a crisis.
I live in MN and am PoA for an Aunt who lives in FL. I do fly down there at least once a year, but I have 2 cousins who are providing in-person care, so it helps to have a local advocate, like your Mom's friend. But this friend won't be willing or able to do much more as the needs increase. Better to get it under control now, IMO.
You SHOULD do this as POA. Please read up on the requirements for her state and do it asap IF you feel up to the job. You must be certain first that you are ABLE to do this. She has dementia. Once this progresses so that mom cannot be examined by an attorney to measure competency for knowing what she is doing, then she cannot appoint you and it will be too late if it is needed.
That said, it's a JOB. If you don't wish to do this perhaps discuss with Adult Protective a way to protect her, get her a financial manager to pay her wills, without yourself having to be responsible for this, or a Licensed Fiduciary.
If you choose to become responsible you are responsible for knowing HOW it is done and for METICULOUS records. It sounds to me as tho you feel not especially competent to learn and do that.
As to your question are YOU as her POA responsible for her bills?
No, you aren't.
But two of you can't function as bill payer. That becomes too willynilly.
It sounds as tho current things are going OK. It's great you can help her and have things set up. But this will get dicey when she's no longer competent and you are using her card. If she is capable now to put you on her account as co owner, and on her card as a recognized user of said card, that will ease things for now.
You say you have no money for an attorney, but it's your mom's money that pays for the attorney visit. I would see an elder law attorney or set mom up with a Licensed Fiduciary who will do it for a fee. (usually about 100-120 an hour; once set up work is done it takes most only about an hour a month).
I wouldn't take on this responsibility if you are uncertain. Discuss with another family member. When my brother fell ill with probable early Lewy's five years ago he made me Trustee of Trust and POA. It was a enormous learning curve for me and I still have the books sitting to prove it. But I was able to do it and became proud of myself that I could; I will say it added exponentially to my anxiety for a year, though.
Good luck whatever your decision is.
> Do I need to be her POA?
You really should. Since if things go awry, people like her CC company will require it or they won't even talk to you.
> Are POAs financially responsible for bills and payments if funds are low?
No. But make sure you keep it that way. Don't accept financial responsibility. That means never sign anything in your name. Always sign it with "for" follow by your mom's name. You are signing for her, not for yourself.
A hospital will only give you medical information if she grants you a HIPAA release, otherwise, nope, no information is going to be released. However, I talked about the billing for my dad and my sister without POA. Different information is provided when you are paying versus receiving information for care.
I Downloaded the Durable POAs for Finances, Medical and Mental Health from our states attorney General website, they were perfectly legal and fulfilled ALL Legal requirements for a valid POA in AZ. I highly recommend that you try to do this for the state your mom lives in and get a HIPAA form and write in the form, before it gets notarized that it NEVER EXPIRES AND IS INTENDED TO BE VALID IN ANY JURISDICTION IT IS PRESENTED. Super important to have a valid HIPAA that never expires, the ones we all sign for Medical care expire annually and it may not be a 12 month period, it could be the fiscal year end for the practice and that means 12/31 it is no longer valid.
Right now everything is hunky dory with mom but, dementia can change that and without the POAs she could make helping her near impossible and super difficult, speaking from experience. So get those forms to make your future helping mom as easy as possible.
Being given permission &/or a card & you pay some bills can work for emergency situatuons eg a SHORT hospital/rehab stay.
Or having a joint bank account may make sense if you live together & share expenses.
However, for longer term, if any dementia or cognitive umpairement is diagnosed (or even suspected) I would suggest only working within a legal framework. With legally assigned POA.
Risks;
- Those with memory loss can accuse you of stealing.
- Other family can accuse you of taking advantage, of elder financial abuse.
- There may be financial look backs for health insurance/care
- Banks, power companies, other bill providers etc will have no authority to speak to you.
Picture this: paying the electricy bill but it going wrong. The power goes out but the electricy company will not talk to you to reinstate the power.
My own experience is that I was asked to *help* with some health bills & my LO would pay me back. I refused, stating I am not a credit card. A good move as it turnout out.. as my LO blamed me for the health tests being needed & disputed the bill. (My only role was driving there & back).
Tread very carefully & legally is my advice.
POA gives the bearer the right and responsibility to handle affairs for the person incapable of doing so. There are 2 kinds - financial and medical. I usually suggest getting both to one person. As POA, you make decisions and pay using the person's assets - never your own. You are not responsible for their debts, just for acting on their behalf. Without this paperwork, nobody should accept you making financial decisions on behalf on another - unless local law allows for this.
Then get her bank card, set up an email account for her bills. Have her bills set up for online pay and start paying them. Be sure to close her banking accounts before she dies.
‘on another note, it’s heartbreaking watching my mom who was tall, authoritative, a business owner and the number 1 go to with anything childcare related in our county having had her own daycare for 40+yrs. Sadly she remembers none of it…
No you are NOT personally responsible for her debts.
Hospitals will request copy of poa for just about everything. They do have to follow next of kin if mom no longer has capacity to understand her medical concerns.