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Forgot to mention I can't take HRT due to breast cancer - estrogen positive...
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Same here - OMG when we visit mom on Saturdays at dinnertime, she'll repeat herself as usual (thankfully :) but then she'll "surmise" that Richard's daughter isn't happy (Chris lives in Maryland w/her ex, their 13 y.o. son & her 2 y.o. daughter) So when mom says that I feel the need to answer her - Richard gently tells me, Karen, just nod your head lol - Being women, when someone EVEN w/dementia or AD talks, we automaticaly think we should take part in the conversation & actually talk to them! UGH!!!! But yep, I find myself getting frustrated a little too easily w/mom - I NEVER hit or slap her, just, well, leave after a too short visit - 9 times out of 10 she'l tell me to stay & I calm down & stay, but others...I would just like to know how to best handle my frustration w/mom - wait I just had a athought - when I start getting upset, I can just stop, breathe a few times, smile at her & calm myself down!!! But yep, I'm right there w/ya!
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Me too! I get hot flashes a lot. Exercise and prayer help me deal with everything.
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ME, ME, ME!! I could have wrote the same letter! My emotions are all over the place. I can't sleep. Some other personal symptoms (if you get my drift) I have been taking Estroven and also something recommended by health food store guru call DIM plus. Order it from Vitacost though, it's alot cheaper.
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Weil recommends both meditation and breathing for proper relaxation.

But google "dr weil menopause herbs" and you will find plenty of natural herbs that DO help menopause as well as many that are routinely recommended but DO NOT have ANY science to back them up. So you can see what might be worth it to try for you and your symptoms as well as what NOT to bother with. Don't ever forget that herbs, although natural, provide material doses of plant ingredients. Side effects should always be checked against prescription medications and other supplements before taking.

HYLANDS Standard Homeopathic remedy number 13 is an old standby for menopausal symptoms. It is a combination remedy and doesn't work because it is a combination, isn't "stronger" because of the combination of ingredients, but will work if one of the ingredients is the one you need for your symptoms. Non-toxic. No contra-indications with other medications or supplements and easily available online or at most health food stores.
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Yes, I feel exactly like you... and am seeking same. Some things that work for me.

I go to gym 3 times a week to lift weights, listen to music and connect with others.

Walk daily with dog and sweetheart.

Try to do yoga... local community places. Only Gentle/Restorative yoga, because in addition to the walking and weights, it's more about stretching, meditation and reminders to stay centered, etc.

On top of all this, I too wake with night sweats. Jump out of bed! Seems like I can't sleep for more than 1.5 -2 hours at a time. Can't be good in the long run and I have been doing this for years! When I do notice that I've slept for 4 hours straight I dance with joy!

I am NOT suggesting this, but it seems to help. I run down to the freezer and eat a sugar free ice pop. It cools me down and I fall back to sleep quickly. The bad side is the fake sugar! So this week I am trying a small cool cucumber to cool down. I know it sounds silly, but it is much more healthy than fake sugar ice pop...

I've tried hormones, melatonin, and every other suggestion from Weil and Oz. I feel like they just push products and nothing really helped. So, I'm munching a cool cucumber at night and hope to sleep.

Started the "Engine 2, Plant Strong 28 Day Challenge". Dr. Esselstyn and other doctors and medical researchers found that the consumption of only vegetable products (excluding fat/oil, salt, sugar) is very healthy. I'm not an expert, but the research is compelling and you can find it on the internet.

My best wishes to you. I think women should band together and address this issue, because the medical field doesn't seem to get it. For me it has lasted 10+ years!

My mom's approach was to "ignore it" and get on with life. That's another thing we could try. Make believe it's not really happening. ;-) I find that very difficult, because it IS happening and I for one need to keep looking for answers. Yoga, exercise and working on eating super healthy is kind of fun. :-)
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Thank-you both Carol and Smitty for your thoughts and suggestions. I won't use HRT but I will certainly go onto Dr. Weil's site and read up on meditation, I think that will be helpful.
It has just been an overwhelming year with having to move in with mum last year and then my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time (she has had chemo and radiation.. hopefully it was all a success), and I find now that I am spending my time caring for mum I have a lot more time to "think" and that is not always a good thing. Combining all of that with fluctuating hormones and insomnia, sometimes it gets the better of me. Exercise helps and I will look into the meditation. Thanks for the suggestions!
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Hi Macada,
Smitty has some good advice. I'd also try meditation. Dr. Andrew Weil offers many natural ways to relax. There are, of course, many types of meditation. The idea is to free the mind from worry. If you gain comfort from turning your troubles over to God, then use meditation as a means to do that. Yoga stretches (you needn't worry about any "religious" meaning here, just the physical stretches) can be very relaxing. Dr. Weil's site is just one of many to show you some poses.

Remember that, as Smitty says, you are doing your best. You know you aren't angry with your mom. It's your jumbled hormones. You may be interested in knowing that several studies have shown HRT given for just a few years can be beneficial.

By all means, don't blame yourself. Look for relaxation and relief any way you can get it (in a healthy manner, obviously). And try to get some respite help with your mom so it doesn't feel like everything depends on you.

Take care,
Carol
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Yes, I completely understand what you are experiencing. It's not your fault. I know we tend to feel guilty if we aren't perfect caregivers. Give yourself permission to be human. I can't take HRT but I've heard that Estroven helps because it has black cohosh in it which reduces hot flashes. Herbs aren't studied in this country so many western doctors don't recommend them. It's worth a try though. Good luck. I hear ya on the insomnia. Hugs to you! You're doing the best you can. never forget that!
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