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The hatred you feel for your dad is not healthy. Walk away from this And you said there was a sister. But you said you were the only surviving family member. Did your sister die
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Katgurl58: Yes, my sister died about 25 years ago. There were only 2 kids in my family of origin. So, when she died, I was the only surviving "child". And, when my mother passed away, I was my father's only surviving decedent. I ended up having to sever my relationship with him, on the advice of my attorney, because his lies about me and betrayal caused me some legal problems. It's been 4 years since my father passed away and I've moved on. While I can't forgive him for his lying and betrayal and the mental abuse and other things that he did to my mom, sister, and me throughout our lives, I have moved on with my life and don't think about him very often anymore. Yes, I still hate him and doubt that those feelings will ever change. But, those feelings are way in the background and something I no longer focus on because my father isn't worth my mental energy to waste on these feelings. He was who he was and chose to do the things he did and I accept that he was a very toxic person that I no longer wanted in my life after he betrayed me around the time of my mother's death in 2012. I have a very busy and full life with people whom I love and people who care about me and don't engage in mental abuse or betrayal. I'm thankful for the life I have and the things I'm able to do and, in the year after his death, decided that he isn't worth my wasting my mental energy, my life, and my time being pissed off at. Life is too short to waste on toxic people. I'm in a much better place mentally now than I was when I posted 3 years ago. Through therapy and family dynamics class, I've come to understand toxicity, mental abuse, my role in my family, healthy boundaries, and healthy attachments. My biggest regret is that I didn't understand these things earlier because I would have approached things differently and saved myself a lot of heart ache. But, lessons learned that I can apply to my relationships with others.
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