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My dad was recently diagnosed with some type of rapid dementia. That is what I'm being told now. The end of last year doctors said seizures. He has health issues everything from renal failure (peritoneal dialysis) AFIB, DIABETES, amputate, I've been caring for Pops for a few years. Recently resign work to care full time. Was able to care for him in all those things However, he's now in an inpatient rehabilitation facility to get him physical therapy. But everyday I see my father more & more lost & confused. Hallucinations as well.I know he's to weak physically to come with me his only care. But I am worried that being away from home & what he's used to is making him more confused. I have never been around anyone with cognitive health. I don't know what is best for him. Its breaking my heart and getting worse every day. Can anyone give me some advice.

I would not bring him home. I would talk with his doctors about his prognosis.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Below you wrote in a response that you are 57, you are not your Dad's PoA and that he refused to sign a DNR, yet he has apparently told his siblings he is ready to go.

I would get your Dad to sign the HIPAA form making you his Medical Representative so that his medical team can legally share his private information with you. I'd want to know what this "rapid dementia" is. Even on dialysis, his renal failure can cause hallucinations and confusion. Or, he could have a UTI, be dehydrated, reacting to pain or other meds, etc. -- they can all cause those symptoms. See if you can get to the bottom of this since it may have a treatment.

I agree with others that you should consider transitioning him directly into a good, reputable LTC facility. It can be paid for with Medicaid (so make sure any facility you consider accepts this and has open beds). My MIL was in LTC on Medicaid for 5 years in an excellent, affordable, faith-based facility. She got great care. We don't regret it for a single minute. You need to work and make money. If your Dad isn't paying you to take care of him, this isn't a good plan. Your financial needs will outlive your Dad. You need to work while you still can, and get benefits and pay into your SS and not feel guilty about this. Your Dad wouldn't want to impoverish you in exchange for home care (and there's also a mental, emotion and physical cost to caregiving as well).

I wish you great wisdom and peace in your heart as you make decisions on this journey with your Dad.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Kelly631 Apr 6, 2026
Thanks for the info. I want to clarify a couple things i may have explained incorrectly.
My father did sign a DNR. However the Doctor who was going to sign approval declined signing it because of dad cognitive tests results.
I do believe i am
Also, no, I am not paid for any care I've provided for my father. Strictly out of the love I have for him.
He also is on Medicare & United Healthcare insurance ( he pays)
No medicaid involved.
Does anything you suggested change with that correct information? Im truly lost. Thank you for reaching out.
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Talk with the doctor about what medications are being given to dad and whether they could be causing his confusion.

This cognitive impairment could have been developing, but gone unnoticed while he was at home with you. You get used to gradual changes, and in his home environment, he can easily follow his normal daily routine without much trouble.

It is possible that being in rehab is causing more confusion for him at this stage.
I doubt you will be able to undo this by bringing him back home again now. You won't be able to adequately manage his newest challenging physical condition, which is the reason for this inpatient rehab.

If he is unable to successfully complete rehabilitation, it will be time to have him transferred to long term care in a skilled nursing facility.

I'm sorry all these changes are coming so fast for you. It is heartbreaking. He is going to need more help and will continue this decline. Just be there for him, visit and encourage him, and try to keep him comfortable.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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My Mom was on Hospice for a week. She had her eyes closed but was responsive. She had my disabled nephew living with her for 8 yrs by that time. I took him to see her. I told him not to say, see you later but goodby when we left. He did tell her that she did not have to worry about him because I would be there to care for. We left, she passed 20 min later.

Tell Dad that you will be fine not to worry about you. If you feel you can do the care, take him home on Hospice.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Kelly631 Apr 5, 2026
Thank you. Encouragement is given to him every day from me. Just gonna keep doing that
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Just keep talking to him when he seems to understand what going on hospice means. If it becomes clear that is not what he wants, then go with whatever he chooses. With dementia he can't sign anything and for you to decide for him would require you getting guardianship. Unless you have POA? But I don't know if you can decide for him about the dialysis even with that. Someone on this site will know. It would be best if he could be in a single place for a long time, so that he can get used to it. Changes are very confusing to anyone with dementia, since they don't remember having moved and don't know where they are or who anyone is. So wherever he goes from rehab, make sure he can stay there. Terrible situation for you. So sorry. However, it seems you have a wonderful relationship with your father and can have good memories to keep always.
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Kelly631 Apr 5, 2026
Thank you 😊
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So sorry. It may be better at this point to transfer him to Lonhgterm care. He has so much wrong with him. The dialysis alone is a last ditch effort. I had two friends on it and both chose Hospice over continuing it, both 63 when they passed. Both diabetics. I am surprised rehab was recommended. How do they think he is going to do it?

Hospice at home means you do most of the work. He will not be doing dialysis because Hospice is comfort care. If you feel you can do this, than thats the way I would go. He will be gone in two weeks or so. You can have it at the facility too if they provide LTC too. But there will be a cost.

Again, so sorry you need to go thru this.
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Kelly631 Apr 5, 2026
Thank you for reaching out. What I've been thinking. He's even told his brother & sister that's what he's ready for. But when I go & alone with him he has a different response saying he wants to be with me her. I keep reassuring him i want whatever he wants. And believe he feels he has to look after me. Between us. How do I tell & reassure my pops it's ok to die without giving him a thought i want him gone? He never finalized anything for his last so it's become so difficult in it. Dnr papers were rejected to be signed off do to his cognitive test
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