Mom used to be an addict and when I had to again take her to the ER this morning for tooth pain, the doctor gave her Oxycodone for pain. She screamed the whole time in the ER that she was in soo much pain. Sometimes I wonder if she fakes this all to get attention. She went to the dentist last week and was hurting, but not in that much pain. She also was given antibiotics because the ER doctor said she COULD OR MIGHT get an infection. Will this ever end?
I can see placing her on antibiotics for a possible infection.
Antibiotics, that's good! The oxycodone I'm not sure about, kind of on the fence, doctor probably gave them to her because she was giving such a fit.
I doubt if she'd be wailing at the dentist office.
Keep moving forward with the plan!
Sepsis from that broken tooth has been my worst fear for her.
No dentist would allow a broken tooth with an exposed nerve to remain in place?
And if the doctor is aware of a broken off tooth with pain he would refer her emergently for extraction.
Surely they have REMOVED that tooth, am I right, T?
The hospital social worker would then have had to find the best facility to place her in, and you could have returned home and to your grandson.
The more I read your daily posts, I'm beginning to think that you really don't have any intention of placing your mom, but would rather just complain about everything she does.
You missed the perfect opportunity when you had your mom at the ER, and I can't help but think that that was intentional.
And if mom in fact was at the dentist last week,(in your post about that you said that she was raising Cain about not going and you made it sound like you couldn't get her there))why didn't you just call her dentist if she was still in pain as I'm sure they would have prescribed something for pain over the phone.
And why didn't her dentist prescribe an antibiotic last week as infection is always something that they worry about and try to prevent? Something doesn't make sense here.
Also if your mom is a known addict(meaning it's in her records), there is no way in hell that any doctor would have prescribed a narcotic for her. No way.
So I can only guess that perhaps it's only you that thinks/thought your mom was an addict at some point in her life.
You ask..."Will this ever end?" Roger/Tammy, I'm not so sure you really want it to.
Because if you really did, your mom would have been placed months ago, or at least today when you had the perfect opportunity while at the ER to not take her home.
There is something fishy about your story, and I hope you're not just taking all the nice folks on here for a ride.
you should not have taken Mom home again . Everytime there is some crisis going on and I post to take her to the ER and not to take her home you don’t even reply . Yet you reply to most other answers to your questions . What is the aversion to leaving Mom at the hospital ?
It would be less dramatic really for both you and Mom had she gone from the hospital to MC. Either you are so stressed out you aren’t thinking or I fear you won’t find the courage to even end up bringing Mom to MC .
If you are in charge of dispensing the meds to your Mom I wouldn't worry about her getting addicted again... just keep them in a secret place. Maybe give her 1/2 of what the doc prescribed (if it is a pill that has a score for splitting).
You can also try Anbesol or Orajel for topical relief that may work, too.
I know when I took oxy it made me sooo groggy so your Mom may be an increased fall risk so keep an eye out for that. And remember that oxy and pain meds are extremely constipating so give her plenty of fluids, Colace (stool softener) and a fiber or ask for a prescription laxative (like Senna).
Try to carve out time for self-care.
I think most of us here have really tried, and many still are trying.
While others hang in for the long haul, I'll bow out wishing you the absolute very best.
The stories now are just too wildly implausible; answers aren't given to questions, or make no sense. There seems an ongoing habitual drive to argue and feel persecuted. It could be stress, a a habitual way of interacting, a need to be angry at someone or something rather than face your grief head-on. It could be none of the above.
I hope mom's broken tooth, with its exposed nerve has been/or will be removed ASAP; it may otherwise cause sepsis which can quickly lead to the death of an elder. The dentist and the docs in ER will be more than well aware of that fact. Anyone who has ever suffered an exposed tooth nerve without novacaine will be well aware how excruciating it is. I doubt oxy would touch it.
I hope your mom will be placed in care and you'll be able to return to the peaceful and happy life you had, satisfied you did your best.
I think there's little we can do for you here but wish you well.
As to me I can relieve you of one grating personality--hee hee--MINE!
Goodbye, good luck, take care of yourself.
Alva
I asked earlier in the thread if you spoke with the dentist yourself before your mom saw him?
Was the dentist informed that your mom has an addiction issue?
What exactly is your concern? Is your mother experiencing withdrawal symptoms?
The antibiotics aren’t an issue. She would automatically be placed on antibiotics for an infection.
As her POA and the person who makes decisions for an elder with dementia, I spent A LOT of time arranging oral surgeon visits to take my mother to, meeting her at the ER every single time she was taken there by ambulance, responding to aides telling me moms feet were too swollen and her shoes didn't fit.....so I drove to Wal Mart and bought 8 pair of shoes for her to try on, and brought the rest back. Same thing with bras. She lived in AL for 5 yrs and Memory Care Assisted Living for 3 years. I'd like to tell you they did everything for her, but they didn't... and they won't for your mother either. She'd change her mind about which disposable briefs she wanted each month and what size too. So off to Amazon I'd go to change the order and add snacks as well. Then one day she "had no nightgown at all"......so off to Kohls I went to buy her 4 and drive them to the facility.
Then when she'd call insisting she was "losing little little little pieces of teeth" all the time, I had to call in a traveling dentist to the tune of $250 per trip to check her teeth. She was wheelchair bound and the last time she needed a tooth pulled at the oral surgeon, my dh had to take a day off work to help me haul her there, and her histrionics and crying were so bad we both vowed NEVER AGAIN. So the traveling dentist did it for a mere $1100, back in 2020.
As far as pain goes from a broken tooth, have you ever HAD pain from a broken tooth.....nerve pain? It's unbearable. The fact mom was an addict has no bearing on her needing pain meds now. If an elder w dementia needs them, they take them! That's the least of your problems, trust me.
And calling in a dermatologist to check her wart which she was hounding me about for YEARS. Every time the PCP used OTC remedies to remove it, it grew back! So I had to call in the dermatologist to freeze the damn thing off. Then she found cancer on moms chin. Then the PCP prescribed drugs that gave her bad side effects so I was called to discuss alternatives. So many times i cant even count.
This in addition to all the phone calls I got for her 95 falls. And horrible rashes under her breasts that nobody but SHE could see. I had to buy her Dermoplast myself for that chaos. And water shoes for the "slippery" shower stall.
And and and, to the point I could write a book. Literally. You ain't seen nothing yet. This is the beginning of what may be a verrrrry long road for both of you. My mother lived to 95+, with CHF and afib and advanced dementia.
Prepare for the worst but pray for the best. This is all the Gods honest truth. Anyone here with a mother or father in MC can attest to it.
You may not like "negativity" but it's also known as Truth.
I wish you good luck and lots and lots of patience.
I never would have believed the endless phone calls: at all hours of the day & night from my MIL, until she finally couldn't figure out how to use the phone; multiple calls nearly EVERY day from the facility, informing us of yet another fall. (Amazingly, she never broke anything, but did get a number of bad gashes.) A number of trips to the ER. The last one was 2 weeks before her death: somehow she had managed to dislocate her thumb, but was completely unaware of it. And taking my MIL to the dentist was another challenge. She kept saying she was in pain, but no matter what the (very good) dentist did, it didn't seem to solve it until one day she just stopped talking about it.
And I never would have imagined the endless shopping. Clothing either disappeared or got ruined. Constantly needed something additional - one day the facility called and said that she didn't have any pajamas. No idea where they went, and as it turns out, it's hard to find winter pjs at the end of February. And all the personal care items/preferred snacks, with Depends by the crate.
It's all so sad for the person, but really, really hard for the person/people responsible for them. Any one who's had a LO in a facility knows that your work is far from over the day they're admitted. My MIL passed away a year ago from complications of dementia at the age of 87, and truthfully, it was a relief.
Now we just have to deal with my 91 yr old mother who is homebound in her condo (other than her many medical appointments). This situation has its own set of problems & headaches, along with plenty of work. In addition to her care needs, the condo must be cleaned & maintained, with any needed repairs - and it's always something.
So what do we do? Sometimes I think that raising our 3 kids was easier than these years of endless problems and work, with no happy ending. I think that we are the first generation coping with so many parents living in poor health for so many years.
Be careful not to get shoved down the stairs until you can get her into the new facility. If you would have left her in the ER, problem solved. Getting a tooth pulled is cheap and stops the pain instantly. Dentist would pack the tooth socket with drugs for infection. She only gets maybe 6 Oxycontin. Her past addictions don't matter as much as your own personal safety in a 3 level house, getting seriously injured or killed, trying to physically handle a demented and dangerous person by yourself. You could end up with a broken hip and left on a floor for days!
Every day you keep wanting to "be with her these last few days" is risky and dangerous. Is it really worth it?
Once she's safely contained in Memory Care, you will get stuck fulfilling her every request until she leaves this Earth. If you get hurt or injured, who will be her slave? Your devotion belongs to your own family.
Worry about your personal safety, not what people think. Don't leave her a cellphone either. You did your best, so GET OUT THE SECOND YOU CAN.
"Once she's safely contained in Memory Care, you will get stuck fulfilling her every request until she leaves this Earth." You only need to fill every request if you want to. Your mom will have 3 meals a day, snacks and be taken care of. She will not need much. Toiletries, clothing, Depends. You can visit when you can.
She just made a new post saying that she was leaving the forum due to being put down by us.