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I am looking to resign as POA for my elderly LO with dementia, but want to make sure I am doing the right thing.


My LO needs to become a ward of the state as the family is not able to provide the level of care needed. He is unruly, can be violent and verbally abusive. He's a MAJOR danger to himself (he's crashed his cars three times, been hit by a car the list goes on and on). We've tried all we can to get the help needed but it's frustrating and seems impossible.


To be clear - I am POA for medical and financial because I am "next of kin". I have not had a fulfilling relationship with my LO for over years.


He needs a level of care that exceeds anything within my power.


I would like to ensure he has his after life wishes granted (which are simple) but they require time to plan and get in place.


Am I to sign over his cash assets to the social worker that is in place to go to the state for his care when I resign?

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Hello,
You should check with an attorney or do some research with your state and/or APS. I did that in my state and was able to get the information I needed to resign. Also, like Giaton said, are you in an offical comacity or just doing the role? You said you are next of kin but did you and your LO actually sign POA documents?
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I know it’s naive to say but if if this gentleman is a Vet the VA can help you
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IF loved one is NO LONGER COMPETENT follow this:
1. Call APS and tell them what you told us. Ask if they can assist you in giving up a POA you are unable to use for him before the court and request State Guardianship.
2. IF APS in your area cannot help, see an elder law attorney (the POA pays for this) and get instructions about how to resign.

Yes, if he is incompetent this IS a court action and you will have to resign before the court who will appoint a Fiduciary and state guardianship.
You will then turn over ALL RECORDS to this Fiduciary and assist him/her in getting your name off all accounts and onto his/hers for payment.
You will no longer have ANYTHING TO SAY ever about finances, choices they make, placement or lack of it or when or where.
You will be down to pleasant visits when you wish to make them.

IF he is competent but just troublesome and problematic send a resignation letter to him.
Go then to remove your name on all accounts.
Provide him with all his records and account information.


So as you can see it all depends on competence here.

If he is competent and you resign then I would report your resignation and your belief he MAY BE at risk and undiagnosed to APS. It is then their problem.

You cannot do this half -way. It is either that you are his POA or you are NOT. And how you resign is important because a simple letter or verbal resignation to an incompetent senior is ABANDONMENT before the court for someone you chose to take responsibility for and were acting for.
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Speak with an Elder Law Attorney for best practice.
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ohemgeeb: Pose your questions to an attorney.
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Please consult a local lawyer that specializes in elder law or family law.
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Please consult with an Elder Law Attorney.
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Since he is violent, have you tried to call EMS claiming that he is a danger to himself and others. Just about every state has something called the Baker Act which you can look up. It places a psychiatric hold on someone. As soon as he is admitted, you ask for a social worker at the facility. Once medical people also determine he is a danger to himself or the community or to you, the system kicks in. You can let the SW know that you want to resign but if they place him in a psychiatric place or a locked down facility, would you be able to handle the finances? Concider the key words of danger to self or not able to live on his own, plus the Baker Act.
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The short answer is yes, you do have to resign as POA. However, before resigning, you can use your POA to make your LO's funeral arrangements and pay for them in advance. That way, his final expenses and plans are solidified before you turn over your POA.
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" I am POA for medical and financial because I am "next of kin"...

I need to clarify if you are *assuming* you are PoA because you are next of kin?

Or did he actually assign you as PoA through documents created with an elder law attorney?

If there's no PoA document (which in most states you would have had to sign in front of a notary with him and would have received your own original signed/notarized copy), then you're not his PoA.

Banks would need the actual PoA documents or guardianship paperwork in order to allow you to perform any banking on his behalf. Every bank has very strict rules on this.

If you are his legal PoA then yes, you can resign that responsibility (and make sure you know what the protocol is for your/his state to do this) and report your LO to APS or call 911 for more dangerous behaviors. So sorry you're going through this...
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The State will assign a Licensed Fiduciary through the court system, but if your loved one is now helpless due to incompetency it is no easy thing to simply send a letter of resignation to him.
You need to know that the proper authorities are notified.
You will need an attorney to guide you through the proper resignation so that the state can have a competency ruling from the courts.
BEFORE going to an elder law attorney do contact APS and see if they can help you; in some states they are able to handle your resignation and then make a recommendation to the state courts.
YOU would then go to every entity which you are registered with, whether heat and lighting billing or bank, and show that you have resigned.
And YES, you will hand over all of your records and the knowledge of all assets to the state, so if you are wishing to make funeral arrangements those should be done first with a pre-need contract.
All records will go to the State Court Appointed Fiduciary who will then handle EVERYTHING from medical to placement. Virtually everything. You will no longer figure in choices tho you will be welcome to visit your Dad when you choose and support him in this manner.

So call APS first and ask for an appointment.
If that works you can afford the attorney, but do know that your father's assets stand to pay the attorney for expert help through you, his current POA.

Hope you'll update us. Good luck.
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tokyosteve Dec 19, 2023
Very good advice.
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