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in the hallway. She asks me for food which I give her. I am also 88 years old. A social worker came and asked her if she wanted to go with them and she said "No''. The social worker left and didn't return. Her house is filthy and she hasn't had a bath in a long time. She is ill and needs to be placed in a nursing home where she can be cared for. It is pitiful to see an 88 year old woman in such a conditon. Her family is out of state and are not aware of the conditions she lives in. Is there anything I can do or the landlord to place this person in a nursing home? She can not live by herself anymore and needs proper care. I feel that the landlord, who is aware of the situation, is ignoring this woman because her rent is paid. I believe that this is a case of elder abuse because this is no way for any human being to live.

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This is so very sad; is there any way you could contact her family who lives out of state? You are absolutely right; someone has to help her. It must be quite upsetting for you to see this happening to this poor woman.

On your computer, in the google section type in NYC Dept. of Aging. That is their website and you will be able to be directed as to who to call depending on where in New York City you live. If you need more help, just ask on this site again for help. Bless you and you are a good person to be concerned for this poor woman's condition.
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I am taken aback by sylvester18's response. The person who wrote asking this question is 88 years old. Do you really think this person should be cleaning another's apartment? You are way out of line in your response.
I would call the local dept. of aging and explain the situation....Some of the suggestions above were good ones. Call a local news station. I live in NY. ABC. CBS or NBC would help with this woman's plight.
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I would think the Dept. of health for the city should be called-the landlord should know how to get in touch with her family-they are probably paying her rent and since he is not doing anything about. The next time she asks for food ask her for the phone number of her family but I would call the dept. of health or a TV station -that would get results or the Mayor's office might be called-would any other tenents be willing to help or call the department of aging before she is found dead in her apartment -then the landlord will have to get off his duff. Maybe the clergy would help. Do not be afraid to get involved-you already are involved because you are aware of what is going on.
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You really need to step in for her own sake. Can you contact her kin folks out of state for the family really needs to know about her declining condition. If you cannot get reach her kin folks then I would call the health department to come out and check her condition to see if they can help her. She may not won't the help but she sounds like she is in no condition even know what is good for her anymore. Luckily, she has a neighbor that is concern for her. I hope you can reach a family member of hers first and if all else fail maybe the health department.
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You can actually call the police and report that there is a terrible smell coming out of her apt. and that she is an older woman who lives alone. That you are afraid that she is dead. They will come and do the rest. They will contact the proper channels and will probably take her to the hospital. God bless you for being her angel. This is quick and easy. Being NYC you could call Social Services and ask about the department who handles elder abuse and make a report through them also.
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Sad as her condition is, it is not the landlord's fault or responsibility. It is also not elder abuse. I agree with those who say try to get in touch with her relatives. If you call the police and file a false report, you will be financially liable for their time and may end up in court. New York Social Services should be able to direct you to the Elder Care Division...that is a whole different parameter than Elder Abuse.
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sylvester, I think most people suggested that for the person to call social services or health department to check on the 88 yr old lady. How the you know she is even eating or what she is eating? Sweeping someone else's floor is not the solution to what the 'real' problem may be and if she didn't have any concerns for the lady she would had not even taking the time here to even post like most other people around this world. She was asking for advice on what she should do and it seems as if you are badgering her instead and that is wrong!
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I am not going to argue with sylvester18 simply because my time is not worth the effort! Someone mentioned this may be from a culture belief, however, I do not go along with that thought. I do not know NY law, here in California, if you call the police telling them that someone can not care for themselves they will go out to investigate. If they find the person in conditions that are unacceptable and unable to care for themselves, they will send them to a hospital for a diagnosis. In the case of this woman, her family would be contacted as well. I do not know why this discussion has gone on because someone should contact the police. I can't do it because I don't know the address and if I did I would call in a heart beat.♥♥!!
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wow Sylvester18, please note that the lady asking is no Spring chicken herself and probably is not well aware of what services and help is out there for her neighbor. In her day, people watched out for other people and this lady writing in is an angel. There are not many around anymore. Certainly, she can call the division of aging in her County and see what can be done. "If" she had the family's phone number I am sure she would have called them by now and we have no idea how close she is to the woman in question. Calling in a welfare call for an aged person to the police is NOT going to get this woman in trouble. It may just start the ball rolling to get her some help. 88 year old? Of course she may need help! Maybe just too proud or not knowledgable enough to know she needs it. Saverio, you are an angel and I wish you many more happy healthy years to come. YOU are why people have come to America.
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Sylvester,
I have seen so many very angry posts from you on many different topics. Why are you so angry? I posted a few very loving and gentle comments to you, and you went into rages. Do you see a therapist to help you with your caregiving difficulties? It can get very crazy caring for an elderly sick parent. In fact it can become downright maddening!!! If I didn't see my therapist once a week to help me cope, devise new techniques and vent to I'd probably be absolutely irate!!!! Anger usually comes from guilt, and sometimes we feel subconsciously guilty because we feel like we're not doing a good enough job. We ALL go through these crazy emotions that often don't make sense. We all feel a loss of control because we can't really do anything to make them well, and we often blame ourselves feeling this helplessness. The ONLY thing we can do is love them, be gentle with them with the understanding that they are easily upset and frightened. We are there to help make them feel safe. It's hard sometimes, I know believe me! Frustration, and impatience from having to cope with all the crap 24/7 with seemingly no end in sight gets unbearable. Try to take some more personal time for yourself. If you have to get someone in to watch her so you can get away and have some fun. Try to get some exercise each day even if it's 10 mins of fresh air. The best thing though would be to find a good therapist to help you deal with this situation. I have no support what so ever from my family; in fact my two sisters admittedly hate me. I have no spouse or children to help me either so I am basically alone. I get extremely lonely at times, and without the help of my therapist would probably be in the "bin" myself!!!!!!! I'm reaching out to you one more time in the hopes that some heartfelt suggestions might help you. Anger will only scare your mom, and mention of "police" must terrify her. Try to put yourself in her position. Really go into your mind, and think about how it must feel to be old, sick and helpless. It would completely suck. In Love and Light
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