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1amCristina, your profile says that your mother is in assisted living. Is that accurate? How much time are you spending with her per week?
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Every night and weekends
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1amCristina, to preserve your sanity, I wonder if you couldn't cut back some. Do you work? If you are spending every evening and weekend with Mom, when do you have time for yourself?

If she lived with you, I'd be advising you to arrange some respite and get some time for yourself. You have built-in respite! Try cutting back to 3 nights a week and one afternoon per weekend. See if that improves your perspective.
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Something that I have trouble dealing with is my mother saying, "I just don't feel good today," and looking like death is waiting at the door for her. It has been like this for six years. Mostly I think it is remorse about the past, distaste for the present, and dread of the future. I know people on the group know what I mean when I say such misery is hard to live with. (And yes, we've tried all kinds of things to make it better. I have resigned myself to staying happy despite her mood.)
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Taking breaks is understandable and often best for both of you. Every night and weekends is a lot of your life. Try going to every other night and maybe Saturday or Sunday or make weekend days shorter. The stress of trying to keep this up isn't good for either of you.

Take care of yourself! This is vital.
Please update us. We do understand what you are going through.
Carol
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Oh boy, I can relate to this one...altho' my Mom's "tissue issue" is a bit different, she does do the up-the-sleeve thing...we try to explain that hoarding tissues can be a sure-fire way of spreading germs...my Dad used to keep a handkerchief in his pocket & reuse it over & over again 'til days' end...he ended up contracting MERSA & it took antibiotics to get rid of it. Not only does my Mom do the up-the-sleeve thing, she has developed this strange habit of twisting her tissue when she's finished with it...at nite I have to go around collecting all these corkscrew-looking tissues filled with God knows how many germs!
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What you are going through and Haiti are not even comparable.This is by far the hardest life to live ie: that of a caregiver of a parent with dementia. I have/had never planned for this.Wasn't expecting this.Was thrown into this unwillingly and supposedly temporarily for a month that has turned into a year and will now be until death,Sometimes it's hard to even be thankful for a glass of water when you're in the midst of a battle.Although you sound as though you are religious and pray for the strength to see the entire situation through to the end as I'm sure you will I am CONVINCED there is NO amount of prayer time that will make it easier or better for us to get through this!! I am truly sorry. I also love all of you from the bottom of my heart for I know what we are all going through.I respect you honor you and wish there were magic answers for every situation on these forums however the magic is in our predecessors.They are the answers to our prayers and God has given them to us OUR MAGIC BULLETS.Some of their answer work for me some don't but they will work for someone else that is is great need. The last thing you need to do is give up on yourself.SHE WILL KNOW,SHE WILL FEEL IT
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