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My Mom is pretty smart and together, but over the last couple of years she just doesn’t seem to understand that food like milk or meat, cannot be left out on the counter. When I step in, respectfully to let her know, she gets upset and asks how come she has made it all these years then. I’m really perplexed, as normally she’s rational and she also only does this occasionally. Any ideas? I have dinner with her every night, so can stave most of this off...

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What would have happened in your mother’s house when she was a child? I grew up with an icebox and then a very small gas fridge. We didn’t refrigerate everything immediately (I still don’t) because putting hot food in a fridge raises the temperature of everything else and is inefficient. Is this new behaviour, or are you just noticing something that she has indeed ‘made it all these years’ with this as a habit? Could you talk about what happened when she was a child? Or later on – did she have a cool corner to keep the milk? People often finish a carton of milk before it goes off, so there is no actual need to refrigerate it. Habits have changed, and not everyone agrees - for example over total germ-free cleanliness. If living conditions are different now and she really does need to put it in the fridge, could you make it more understandable for her?
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Yeah, sadly, there isn't really any way to make her understand. She likely thinks she's doing just fine. I know that once my LO drank some milk and got so sick that she threw up. She told me that it was WATER that make her sick. I questioned it and went and looked at the milk carton. It had expired many weeks ago! I could NOT believe that she she drank that very spoiled milk and even then refused to believe it made her sick, blaming it on WATER. lol I had to place her soon after that, as she could not live safely alone, per doctor's orders.

If she's not able to recognize food safety, I'd bet there are other things that are risky that are going on too. I might stay with her for a couple of days so you can get a better idea of what they are.
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suscantor Apr 2020
Thank you! I actually live across the hall from her since last Fall, so thankful I’m close, we do things together and I can keep a pulse. It’s just confusing for me since she actually is quite sane over most everything else.
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I see from your profile that your mother has dementia. What you have describe is a symptom of dementia. Sorry to say, but you can't reason with someone with that. What she only does occasionally will become more frequent over time.

There are some really good articles here on dementia. I suggest that you look them up.
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suscantor Apr 2020
Thank you, I appreciate your response.
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