Hello! I am in Washington state and I am feeling extremely helpless. We recently found out from my grandpas wife that he was extremely sick and was diagnosed with cancer. We have called for updates for the past 2-3 weeks and she has refused to give any updates on medical information. Last week on 7.18, My dad and I along with my uncle had went down to visit him and his wife had told the charge nurse that we were not allowed in there at all. My mother had called Linda and convinced her to allow my father and uncle in the room. It turned out the cancer was much more progressed and he was completely unconscious and unless he wakes up within the next couple days he won't make it. She is refusing to allow anyone to visit him anymore, and she is no longer giving updates. Is this legal? We have known him our entire lives and someone he's only known for a few years and been married to for a few months is capable and allowed to do this? My sisters, my mom, his other sons all want to see him. What can we do? What are our options....can someone give me some kind of better understanding of the law? please help!!
As for updates, I've been in the situation where I sent email updates to family members every day. This was when I was completely worn out from hospital and rehab visits in the course of taking care of our LO. No matter what, in the evening when I got home, I always sent a cheery email outlining progress made that day. I didn't want them to feel left out. Guess what - not one of them ever responded or thanked me. Could it be that Grandpa's wife feels unappreciated? I certainly did.
I suggest sending his wife a peace offering thanking her for her care of grandpa and asking what you can do to help HER. That might open the doors.
Hospitals today usually limit the numerous of visitors into the ICU, and with the spike in Covid this summer, I wouldn't be surprised if the ICU is stopping all visitors.
As for updates, is everyone in the family asking for updates, or have you decided on one person to be the go between with Linda? If everyone is rushing her, no wonder she is shutting down. I know I would.
We might want to know from you about how was your communication and rapport before this episode. Sometimes there are 2 sides to a story.
I hope you have the ability to get thru to this woman, I really do. Best of luck.