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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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mis13606, this is a very sad situation. She probably has the legal right to keep you from visiting, but I certainly hope you can prevail and see your father now.
Is your dad mentally competent at this time? That is, could he understand the question "Do you want your son to visit you here?" Because his own word is the final authority, higher than that of the health care proxy.
I wonder if you could make a visit to the hospice home and talk to the person in charge. Explain that you want to visit, and ask if the staff could learn from your dad directly whether he would like to see you. Offer to allow a staff member to stay in the room in case there is any concern about upsetting him.
If Dad is not able to make such a decision for himself, then his wife's word is final. But even in that case I would try to get the hospice staff to intercede for you, perhaps arranging for his wife or a staff member to be there also.
I certainly understand why you want to be there. But try to realize that being there in one particular week of his life is not as important as all the years that preceded that week. If you've had a generally good relationship with him, cherish that.
How did she get health care proxy so quickly if she is a new wife? How long have they been married? Maybe request Adult Ptotective Services assistance? Are there assets that new wife also has controll of?
Do your visits upset your dad? Do you get into any sort of conflict with his wife? What is her reason for stopping you? This is a very stressful time for her as well and if you are causing any trouble with her or staff at hospice she is within her right to stop your visits. If you want to see your dad I suggest an apology for whatever. Show you will be supportive of whatever she decides she could use that!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is your dad mentally competent at this time? That is, could he understand the question "Do you want your son to visit you here?" Because his own word is the final authority, higher than that of the health care proxy.
I wonder if you could make a visit to the hospice home and talk to the person in charge. Explain that you want to visit, and ask if the staff could learn from your dad directly whether he would like to see you. Offer to allow a staff member to stay in the room in case there is any concern about upsetting him.
If Dad is not able to make such a decision for himself, then his wife's word is final. But even in that case I would try to get the hospice staff to intercede for you, perhaps arranging for his wife or a staff member to be there also.
I certainly understand why you want to be there. But try to realize that being there in one particular week of his life is not as important as all the years that preceded that week. If you've had a generally good relationship with him, cherish that.