My mother is an able bodied healthy 78 year old who lives on her own. She is very indecisive and her memory seems to be getting slowly worse. Most of the time she is fine with a few hiccups within the week, but Nothing major to be concerned with. I cannot get her to make a decision on selling her house to move in with me or anything for that matter. Who can I talk to to help me decide what os best
Thanks.
See if the doc will do a memory exam - remember these words, draw a clock, etc. Do you go to appointments with her? Have you discussed your concerns about her memory issues? Don't put too much stock in the first level memory testing - for my mom, her issues don't really show up with that test very well and I was so disappointed that they kind of shrugged their shoulders after it. She didn't do great, scored on a level that indicated an issue for sure, but it doesn't test so many things that she WAS having issues with. Like making plans. Like following 2 or 3 steps directions. Like playing games she's played for decades. But you have to start somewhere.
I am currently in the middle of working with a facility to see when and what level of care would be best for my mom after her slowly declining for the 7 years she has lived with me and hubby. Soooo, I strongly encourage you to NOT have her sell her house in order to move in with you.
First, get all her paperwork in order. Meaning - a will, living will/advanced directive, POA for health care and financial. Make sure all her accounts have joint owners or designated beneficiaries. Saves a lot of hassle down the road.
My mom is 79 and has gone from general confusion to MCI (mild cognitive impairment) to dementia. It's HARD. She's not herself anymore even though she's in the mild/moderate stage, depending on the issue or the moment. Quite the roller coaster.
If she can't take care of her house and yard, she'll have to hire someone to do it. Do NOT take this upon yourself. You have your own life and living arrangements to care for. She could hire a cleaning lady to do the major stuff.
If/when it's clear that she needs more than that entry level of help above, she will either (at some point), need in home caregivers or a move to assisted living. She might want to go into independent living in a facility that also has assisted living for when she needs it. I WISH I had done this with my mom. Live and learn. But our parents only get old once so it's hard to learn the lessons before it's too late.
What kind of hiccups is she having??
You're lucky she's able bodied!!!
As for deciding to move in with you, maybe, she doesn't want to sell her house or hurt your feelings.
My mom is the same age and she would never let me dictate making a decision. She proves how independent she is by ignoring any request from me about her decision(s). She plays like she doesn't understand or remember but, always gives herself away. That's how she doesn't answer questions about things she thinks are none of my business.
I would get the physical and let her make her own choices, as long as she is safe.
- Medication side effects
- Not eating enough healthy foods, or too few vitamins and minerals in a person's body (like vitamin B12)
- Tumors, blood clots, or infections in the brain
- Some thyroid, kidney, or liver disorders
- Drinking too much alcohol
- Head injury, such as a concussion from a fall or accident"
- stress, anxiety, depression
Source: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/do-memory-problems-always-mean-alzheimers-disease
I would start by discounting a medical problem first. Memory loss is a common part of aging, and doesn't necessarily accompany dementia.