Approximately three to four months ago, my brother was living in a senior living facility, alone. May I make note, he was walking with help of a cane and walker. He had a stroke and three heart attacks in one week approximately 6 to 9 months prior to moving on his own because his sons were tired of taking care of him and tried to put him into a nursing home and he wouldn't go. I lived to far away at the time to visit a lot. He grew depressed, he started not eating correctly, he also became incontinent and with no help from his sons, and depression growing stronger. He checked himself into the hospital saying he wanted to end his life. After he came back to his home ten days later, which I believe is very soon. He did not take his blood sugar test, nor eat properly and so his diabetes two became worse. One day, alone, he could not get up on his feet. Even though he had a son that lived 10 minutes away, he called an ambulance. At the hospital, the social worker and his son, which on his POA at this time. I am his POA now, they decided to get him to rehab in a nursing home facility. He needed to strengthen his legs. On arriving he was told its temporary and you will go home soon. One month later he was told he was not able to be released because he cannot live alone. All this time he was not allowed to walk in the facility. They told him not to walk. He ended up with open wounds from the incontinence. He was in a lot of pain. He lost upper core body strength, very little use in his legs. He called me and begged me to get him out. I did. I brought him to my home. I am 70 years old. He is 72. He did ok but, lost his balance twice in one week and fell. We were building up his strength though. He had started walking with a walker with my help. He is getting an operation of some type to help with the incontinence. I was so worried about him falling and hurting himself, and he also did not want to hurt myself, trying to break his fall, that we put him in another nursing home by me. He is very unhappy. I am here to tell you this, from experience in the past, my father, mother and sister, all went to a nursing home. I moved my father three times. Even fairly good nursing homes, do not give the best care. You have some really good staff but, neglect is always present. Always! He stays wet, this facility also does not encourage walking with walker. Some days he stays in bed all day! They say they cannot give him a diabetic diet. Says it goes against the law and they can't keep him from eating what he wants. So, they have increased insulin dosage to keep blood sugar down. My question, after all this, is, “I apologize, and I do not mean to rant." Should I consider taking him from the home? I don't want him to fall and get hurt or possibly die under my watch. I am trying to keep my emotions out of this, but, to see him under such depression and hopelessness, is ripping me apart! Please, any feedback would be appreciated.
Maybe he needs a different facility, but do not fool yourself into thinking home care will work for all.
Unfortunately, if he is of sound mind, he has the legal right to make really bad decisions for himself. Trying to force him to eat a diabetic diet in your home will just make him mad that you won’t let him eat what he wants or stay in bed.
A person with this many ailments is not a case of “try to take him home”.