2 adult children + their spouses see us as stuck in our ways, not willing to do things their way. Each wants us to change our routines to their "better way". After 51+ years married, we don't need change as much as just assistance emotionally,for my lung cancer survivor husband, and myself as chief caregiver, physically well, but tired. Give me a Break, without a time limit, such as 2 hours, etc. Just a few hours alone, just for Me!
My parents ignored all my concerns, especially the major fact that their large 3-story home was not elder friendly. But Mom dug in her heels, and she refused any outside help.
Your children and their spouses probably aren't helping because you are making the choice to continue not making any changes, thus you need to be responsible for the outcome of those choices.
If your grown children have children at home, 2 hours to help you would backlog their chores to a point where it would disrupt the household.
Oh, with my parents not taking any suggestions I had, Mom overworked herself, fell, and died 3 months later. If only my parents would have listened to me, and accepted Caregivers to come in to help them both.
If they are still working and their dad was in the hospital , it may have been very difficult for them to accompany you to visit a facility. There really does need to be compromise and understanding of the others' position in these situations.
I'm not sure I understand your request for someone to be with your husband "with no time limit"? How would that work? Have you looked into having home health care, either through medicare if that's available for a short period of time, or private pay? You can't do this full time caregiver thing without respite.
I also tell my dad to not get on top of the roof to clean gutters. He's still active and has always done it, but I had to really get serious about this one. I also remind them to check with their doctor before taking any meds, even over the counter. I'm afraid, I may bother them too, but it is from a place of love.
There are plenty of things that I don't like, but I keep my lip zipped unless I think it's urgent.
Maybe, you could ask your adult children to write down what they want you to change so you can read it and take it into consideration. Then they can leave you in peace.