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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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There comes a time in the relationship between a child and a parent becomes reversed. We become the parent and them the child. I question when someone says "at 95 my parent is still sharp as a tack".
"We develop many thinking abilities that appear to peak around age 30 and, on average, very subtly decline with age. These age-related declines most commonly include overall slowness in thinking and difficulties sustaining attention, multitasking, holding information in mind and word-finding."
I am 72 and I see it in me. Its not disrespect to treat a parent like a child when they act like one. I can just imagine what my Dad would have been like at 95. You should have seen him at 79. So when Mom has a tantrum, walk away. Don't engage.
Your Mom has quite a bit wrong with her. The arthritis probably gives her pain. You have she suffers from anxiety. Is it a tantrum or a meltdown. She is just overwhelmed. Hearing loss is a big thing. My DH has had it since an accident at 4 and now at 75 he only has one good ear and that he only has 30% and that's with a hearing aide. It still depresses him aft all these years.
What is going on when she has these "tantrums". Is it because you won't do something when she wants you too? Then ignore it. If its when there is too much going on around her or she is having trouble communicating, then its she is going into overload. Has she been checked for Dementia? Is she on meds for her anxiety? If so, then maybe she needs the meds adjusted or a new one.
At 72 I like peace and quiet. When my grandson is here, he is playing games on his phone and has the TV loud. I can't take it. The TV gets muted or turned off and he is asked to keep the volume on his phone low. Texas Roadhouse, love their food, but I swear they have their music above what the law allows. Then you have everyone trying to talk over it and waitress running all over. Just too much for me. I am getting a headache thinking about it.
So, take note on what is going on when she has these tantrums.
A person won't throw a tantrum if there is no one there to witness it. Walk alway. Every time. If you think you can't handle it, look up how to deal with toddler tantrums. Lots of info. Then do it.
As Beatty mentioned - a description may be helpful. In our case - my honest to goodness narcissistic FIL has tantrums all the time because he is used to getting his way and will go into meltdown mode when told no. So the best way to handle his outbursts is to remain calm and tell him that we aren't going to be yelled at or deal with a manchild and when he is ready to behave like an adult we will be happy to talk to him about whatever it is he is wanting to discuss. He can have tantrums to rival a toddler too. I could tell you some stories! ;-)
But how you handle your mom really depends on the situation and what is causing it.
Do you know what's behind her frustrations? Whether young, old or inbetween, we can have our feelings overwhelm us. Especially when tired, hungry, in pain, are anxious, fearful, frustrated. Or if we just cannot get our message accross adequately.
I can certainly move from calm to niggly to YELLING if a family member disregards my no. "No. I said No. I SAID NO!!". Does shock the person trying to push 🙃
I mention that as sometimes as close family we can forgot to gain permission. The person doesn't want to do something we want them to - or we may assume someone wants our help (when they don't).
If you are talking emotional outbursts: yelling, crying..? Ensure she is somewhere safe, let her cool down. You may need to leave her presence until she is calm again. Then discuss it.
If you are talking throwing & kicking objects.. this needs intervention. You moving to a safe area asap. Discussion with Doctor/Geriatrician may be needed. Behaviour strategies put in place.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"We develop many thinking abilities that appear to peak around age 30 and, on average, very subtly decline with age. These age-related declines most commonly include overall slowness in thinking and difficulties sustaining attention, multitasking, holding information in mind and word-finding."
I am 72 and I see it in me. Its not disrespect to treat a parent like a child when they act like one. I can just imagine what my Dad would have been like at 95. You should have seen him at 79. So when Mom has a tantrum, walk away. Don't engage.
Your Mom has quite a bit wrong with her. The arthritis probably gives her pain. You have she suffers from anxiety. Is it a tantrum or a meltdown. She is just overwhelmed. Hearing loss is a big thing. My DH has had it since an accident at 4 and now at 75 he only has one good ear and that he only has 30% and that's with a hearing aide. It still depresses him aft all these years.
What is going on when she has these "tantrums". Is it because you won't do something when she wants you too? Then ignore it. If its when there is too much going on around her or she is having trouble communicating, then its she is going into overload. Has she been checked for Dementia? Is she on meds for her anxiety? If so, then maybe she needs the meds adjusted or a new one.
At 72 I like peace and quiet. When my grandson is here, he is playing games on his phone and has the TV loud. I can't take it. The TV gets muted or turned off and he is asked to keep the volume on his phone low. Texas Roadhouse, love their food, but I swear they have their music above what the law allows. Then you have everyone trying to talk over it and waitress running all over. Just too much for me. I am getting a headache thinking about it.
So, take note on what is going on when she has these tantrums.
But how you handle your mom really depends on the situation and what is causing it.
I can certainly move from calm to niggly to YELLING if a family member disregards my no. "No. I said No. I SAID NO!!". Does shock the person trying to push 🙃
I mention that as sometimes as close family we can forgot to gain permission. The person doesn't want to do something we want them to - or we may assume someone wants our help (when they don't).
If you are talking emotional outbursts: yelling, crying..?
Ensure she is somewhere safe, let her cool down. You may need to leave her presence until she is calm again. Then discuss it.
If you are talking throwing & kicking objects.. this needs intervention. You moving to a safe area asap. Discussion with Doctor/Geriatrician may be needed. Behaviour strategies put in place.
If you want to describe what happens it may help?