My wife has Dementia/Alzheimer's. She is in the stage of refusing to take a bath, change her clothes, or go to the doctor. With that being said, since I can't get her to the doctor, and I know she has a possible UTI (prone & no bath) I want to check her into a short term facility to determine what all is wrong and have her assessed to see if it's time to place her into a fulltime facility. I have practically begged her current dr. to give me a prescription for this but she basically has refused me. How else can I go about getting this done?
Your wife MAY have a UTI and that can cause sepsis and death. I believe that I would call EMS and have your wife transported to ER with whatever excuse or story you need to make up to do so. There they will get a cath specimen of the urine to diagnose and treat. You say you are currently unable to handle your wife. I would stress this and say she is badly in need of assessment. If you can get her admitted you should AT ONCE contact Social Services on an "emergent" basis and tell them that you are unlikely to be able to physically take care of your wife at home any more; that you need placement and discharge planning for her.
That is all given you are ready for what sounds like it is coming sooner than later, and hopefully before sepsis claims her life. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best.
If you do get her LTC, then see an elder lawyer about splitting you assets for Medicaid. Her split will go to her care and when spent down, you can apply for Medicaid. There is more to this that an elder lawyer can explain.
Do not under any circumstances let them talk you into taking her back home as they will surely try.
Instead, stand your ground and let them know in no uncertain terms that it's just too much for you now and she needs to be placed.
Best wishes.
To get her in for an exam you may need to use a "therapeutic fib", telling her an annual exam is required in order to continue to get Medicare or SS benefits. Once you get her in you pass the doc a pre-written note telling them to check her for a UTI. At this point I would NOT ask for a cognitive exam since she may have a UTII and this will impact how she does on that test. Please know that other health problems besides UTIs can mimic dementia symptoms, like thyroid issues, HBP, ddiabetes, dehydration, vitamin deficiency, and others.
My family paid a neighbor (who was already a professional caregiver) to come in to help my Aunt have a showerr twice a week. Sometimes having a neutral person manage it is more productive, and less stressful for you.
You can consider calling facilities to come and do in-home assessments for your wife.