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Hello. I badly need a knee replacement but I have been putting it off as my husband has dementia and cannot look after himself. I have no support to look after either of us. Can anyone explain how to find a respite place to put my husband in and then home care for me. Thanks, Sheila from Florida

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You can start by contacting nearby memory care assisted living facilities to see if they offer respite care for the duration you’ll need. Another option is to search on google for Mom can reach out to discuss in-home care options. You might also consider reaching out to a local caregiving agency for additional support Like agingcare.com homecare.com, bellevueseniorliving.com etc.
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Reply to Violap
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Knee replacement now requires very few days in the hospital and normally does not involve going to rehab. However, when you come home, you'll normally be using a walker or a cane, so you won't be able to do much physically for your husband for a while. Regarding care for you at home post-surgery, by the time I had a knee replacement, I had Medicare, and some at-home post-surgery PT was covered; also a nurse came a couple of times to give me an anti-coagulant, as I recall. (This was in 2006, so some of these things may have changed; the direction of change is usually to try to get you independent ASAP.) In any case, Medicare covered these visits as part of the activities associated with the surgery, and the surgeon's office arranged for the providers to come. (I had a bit of control over the times the providers would come.) This is not the same as having a caregiver in the home, but I had only myself to take care of, and I was able to do that. Other people brought me groceries, but now you could have them delivered. If you need actual home help, you will likely have to pay for it unless you have some very generous insurance
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Reply to Igloocar
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Sheila, Talk to your PCP and your knee surgeon about this. They should have social workers who can help the two of you find care.
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Reply to brandee
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SheilainFlorida: A Google search brings up a few respite places near Mount Dora, FL.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I live in Canada so not sure if it works the same in US.
In any case if I needed hospitalization they will take my husband with me and place him in facility. All I need to do is call SW, if EMS is required they have it on file.
It is just common practice as caregiver becomes unavailable and other person cannot be left alone.
Let me tell you about respite care here.
At beg of May I tried to arrange respite care for my husband.
Not one room available, 3 agencies involved! We live in big city with lots of facilities. I was flexible as it was not for health reasons so May or June was fine.
Nothing!
One suggested IL and I come and take care of him?
Other suggested hotel stay and some other to send him to hospital. Unbelievable!
I found it myself, for part of May with extended stay available for June.
Another lesson in caregiving, not much help available.
We are mostly on our own.
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Reply to Evamar
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It would be best if you could find home care for both of you during this time. Often your health insurance will help cover the cost of in home care especially after an operation. They can often provide a visiting nurse or therapy for you at home.

When I needed day surgery I contacted a agency that comes into the home to help care for the disabled. It was expensive, but I only needed them for the day.

After that I looked into a program called IRIS. They help provide in home care for people who are elderly or disabled. They will pay for a in home care as well as anything needed in the home that is not covered by your insurance. They also help cover things outside of the home that are not covered by your insurance. This one is through Medicaid, but please check into what is available where you are. The program here also allows family as care givers.
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Reply to FamilyNeeded
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Have read the answers saying that Medicaid would help. Not necessarily.
My husband has been on Medicaid for some time and I needed surgery. Instead of helping us, (not to name names) the insurance agency that manages his account and the agency that supplies the workers had a "fight". As a result of their "misunderstanding" , my husband wound up with no services for months, though he had been approved. All our case manager did was lie, covering for insurance company and the agency owner supplying workers refused to work with the insurance agency - my husband was left high and dry, no matter what I tried to get some help. He was the victim because of the juvenile behavior of both agencies. Yes, I am angry, very angry. So, don't bank on Medicaid...depending on the insurance managing company you have.
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Reply to LovingWife34287
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If you have no money to pay for respite care, it may be time to place your husband. If you have no assets to split, getting him Medicaid may be no problem. You will become a Community Spouse and get enough to live on from you monthy income. Call Social Services and make an appt with a Medicaid caseworker.

My Moms respite in an AL became a permanent thing.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sheila, call his and your insurance company. They may pay for respite for him and home care for you after surgery.

If all else fails. You can apply for medicaid to get some financial help.

The local county department of aging can direct you to what resources are available in your area.

Best of luck getting your surgery, respite for hubby and a full recovery.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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You can call the local Memory Care Assisted Living facilities nearby and ask if they do respite care for however long you think you'll need it for hubby. Then click on FIND CARE at the top of your screen, and fill out the info to have someone from A Place For Mom contact you about the in home care you need. Or call an agency in your area for caregiving help.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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AlvaDeer May 26, 2024
I think this would be problematic for our OP in terms of payment. She says in the profile that there is no money. She moved in with family but there is no help there. I think A Place for Mom is going to be interested only if this respite is self pay.
Due to the fact she is having knee surgery I also worry about her rehab and ability to care for hubby for some time post op.
Wondering now if it isn't time for application to medicaid and placement for hubby.
(11)
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Hi, Sheila

Call assisted living facilities in your area. Some have rooms available for those in need of respite care.

What has your doctor recommended for you?

Are you planning on in patient rehab or out patient rehab after your surgery?

If you can do in patient rehab at a facility, maybe you can go to the same facility as your husband.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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AlvaDeer May 26, 2024
I would try Board and Care as well. This OP says that finances are a problem. And I think she will be out recovering from this surgery longer than she thinks.
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