I have Durable POA (health and financial) for my mother that she did 3 years ago with an attorney, guardianship and her Will. Her dementia has progressed this last month causing no mobility and speech. I have 4 siblings that have never tried to help with her care, a few visits in 3 years, never ask about her health, called police to do a welfare check, called APS and is now wanting my mom to live with one of the siblings that has many health issues, needs couseling in many ways, financially unstable and lives on welfare. Two out of the 4 siblings keep harrassing me with messages that I choose to ignore, I reply if they are civil. I am accused of not letting her see family, talk to family, abuse, spending her money, the list goes on. Now, after 3 months have passed, they will take me to court and take mom. In the 3 years, they have never asked to see the POA documents, still have not asked about her health and wants to see her Will.
It has not been easy taking care of my mom but I would not change it for anything and blessed that she chose me to take care of her.
With having POA, how do I make this stop and can they do anything?
I would have an attorney send a cease and desist letter.
I would put in writing what they have actually done since mom moved in with you, point out they are only worried about their inheritance and make it clear they have never been stopped from seeing mom. Keep those texts, if they do take you to court, you will need them.
An attorney might advice you to get guardianship of mom to ensure your siblings stop with the threats and harrassment. Mom's money would pay for this. Mom's money pays for the attorney to send letters too, this is about keeping her and her caregiver safe.
As her chosen PIA you have the authority to keep her safe, you are her legal representative, whether your siblings like it or not. She chose you for a reason, so talk to an attorney to get this nonsense stopped.
Document any future exchanges as exactly as you can, date, time, names of all parties, and exact words as best you can. If it's legal where you are, record the exchanges with your phone or other device. Document these exchanges.
If you're not already doing so, keep meticulous records of your mother's finances and receipts.
Also document your mother's conditions and all of your actions to care for her, such as any doctor's trips and what transpired. All this is an extra burden, but it may help you down the road if the siblings press ahead with legal challenges.
Definitely make sure all your mom's financial and medical paperwork is kept with meticulous detail and receipts, etc., in case you have to present it to the judge. I also agree with consulting with an elder law attorney at this stage just so you only spend effort fending off the fam where necessary.
You say they contacted APS. Did APS visit???? What did they find????
If there is ONE sibling here you can communicate with you need to arrange a visit with Mom and a phone tree out to other siblings. You need to keep computer copies of your emails inviting them, or keep your phone messages, or keep copies of letters and keep a diary of all you are doing.
Tell the one you choose that they are chosen because you can communicate with them, that you have not time, caring for Mom, to communicate with ALL. Also tell the sibling that UNDER THE LAW you are not free to communicate Mom's finances to anyone else. That you will freely share it with APS or the Court (to which you are legally responsible. Being a POA is a Fiduciary responsibilitiy).
Now, also, it is crucial to know that all this time you have been the POA that you have been keeping files and records that are meticulous and organized and that prove without any doubt that you can account for every single penny of your mother's money into her accounts and out of them. I was POA and Trustee of Trust for my brother. I know what this file looks like. If you have it, if you have a relatively cleans and organized home, and if your Mom appears happy in her environment, then the siblings will not win anything in court. And you may have a countersuit for harassment if you are keeping meticulous diaries of all of this.
You have to realize that Forum sees many messages such as yours, and equally AS MANY by families claiming they are locked out by a sibling who is now "holding" an elder against their own will. In each case, the elder is split in the middle by siblings at war over them, over their finances, their homes and their properties at a time when they are at their most vulnerable. In my history as a nurse I sometimes saw ALL SIBLINGS lose control of the elder with the state, put in the position of Solomon, taking over the control of the elders finances and placement with a hired fiduciary.
We aren't your relatives and we aren't able to make any guesses as to who is right here and who is wrong. We hear only a story about 4 siblings who cannot visit a parent and one sibling who has given care for years and is feeling beset by all the other siblings.
I believe, given this threat of taking you to court, you IMMEDIATELY need a lawyer (and open a new file here as your Mom's money pays for this) to send a Lawyer letter that taking you to court will result in a counter suit of harassment after you prove to the court the good care and proper management of finances you have been doing all this time.
I sure do wish you luck. I sure am sorry for all the grief in all of this, for you ALL, and especially for your poor Mom.
Have you met with the lawyer who will have been appointed to represent your mother?
I did not get the impression you did not allow contact or visitation, they just never felt the need to contact or visit. Now, for some reason, they are harassing you and you have chosen to not deal with them. Thats OK. Let APS investigate. It will probably go your way.
"I have Durable POA (health and financial) for my mother that she did 3 years ago with an attorney, guardianship and her Will."
Usually when there is DPOA there is no need for guardianship. Do you have papers showing if there is a need for guardianship then Mom wants you? If mom has expressed that she wants you as guardian if needed, a Judge would consider that I would think.
They cannot take Mom. They have to show that you are not doing a good job. Mom giving you DPOA shows her confidence in you. Putting her in the hands of a sibling who can't take care of herself probably won't happen either. Have you been formally summoned? You have a right to be at that hearing and so does Mom. The Judge needs to see how well she is being taken care of. You should have kept good records as Alva said. You may need a lawyer. You probably will need Drs affidavits saying she is being cared for appropriately and that at this point, it would be harmful to her mental state to move her.
Judges are smart. He/she will see thru your siblings.