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You should be able to replace your mother's lifeline necklace. I'm sure that the company does this often when people lose them. You say that your mother thinks she is fine. Yet you do not agree, when you observe what she is doing. This makes things much more difficult, when people don't realize that they need more assistance. Is all of her paperwork in order, and are you the POA for her medical and financial affairs? If not, this should be done while she's still capable of signing legal papers. She also needs a living will with her medical directives. Most banks and financial institutions have their own POA forms, which she'll need to sign, hopefully you can go with her to the bank, etc. Also, you need to be on file with Medicare and Social Security as being able to speak on her behalf. You can do this with a phone call with her sitting next to you. First try having a talk with her about taking over some of what she is not doing, perhaps taking over her financial matters. If she agrees, have all statements sent to your address, and pay her bills, get all her accounts set up online to make it easier for yourself. Talk to her about getting aides and others in to help her with house cleaning, bathing, taking meds, etc. You have 2 basic options: have aides help her in her own home, or placement in an assisted living facility. You may need to speak with an attorney who specializes in elder law about activating the POA. Also get connected with a local social worker who can explain your/her options in your area.
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I think only your mother can designate with whom her medical issues can be discussed. You cannot just step in from "outside" and take over if she has not given the doctor permission to share medical informatipn with you.
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Amerimum: Do NOT waste another second of your time with this inept physician!! Seek another physician STAT. The current physician should actually be reported to the medical board.
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Call another doc
preferably a gerontologist. Though not essential
Read some reviews on the new doctor. Look for words like ‘understanding ‘ ‘ kind’ ‘ patient ‘ used to describe the doctor
a woman will be more understanding (generally) about a woman’s needs
Dont complain about the last doctor. You will come off as the difficult party

If possible get a home visit & ask for what you want politely & clearly
Avoid “complaining & explaining”

Be patient with yourself and life
patience & a sense of humor can get you through even the most difficult of times
”acceptance & Adjustments are the keys
Keep your head up
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Definitely, find another doctor. But next time anything happens, call 911 to take her to the ER. They will do an evaluation/assessment. When the social worker talks about sending her home you say she is not able to care for herself and you cannot take her. The social worker should make arrangements to send her to at least a rehab facility initially. If she qualifies, immediately apply for Medi-Cal to pay for long term care.
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Court of protection - or change her Dr. Either involve the courts to get her assessed (it might be surprising what a letter from a lawyer or a court will get her Dr to do), or simply move her to another Dr. It sounds like the one you have thinks of her as one of his cash cows and it suits him well not to lose his income from having her as a patient. Money for nothing is not care, so move and then see if you need to get the courts involved.
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Find a new doctor in my opinion take her to a geriatric doctor
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I’ve been in this exact position regarding my own mother. I had to start calling 911 whenever she fell down or behaved erratically, and they’d quickly arrive and whisk her off to the ER. There, she was evaluated thoroughly (three times) and deemed diminished and in need of assistance and supervision around the clock. I dumped her DEADBEAT, money-hungry “doctor” and found her a new one - one who is attentive, caring and thorough. He answers all our questions, returns calls promptly and is so caring and gentle with Mom it almost brings tears to my eyes. He quickly assisted us in getting Mom the help and services she needed. I went striding into her old doctor’s office and DEMANDED a copy of Mom’s records on the spot. When the startled staff put that thick envelope in my hands, I sailed on out of there, loudly warning the PACKED WAITING ROOM that “Dr. Nobody” will take their money and then completely ignore them. One person actually APPLAUDED… and there are no words to describe how deeply satisfying that moment was.
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